Make 9 year old learn to ride a bike?

Lots of children can’t swim at 8 - they simply don’t all have the strength and coordination needed. Clearly you don’t want to and that’s up to you but unless there is more then it’s not a correct statement. Just don’t fall in any of those canals 😬

Had she tried to learn before!

Just to say @Anarchy99 my granny learnt to swim when she was 60, so not too late to learn.

Well it is too late for me really. If I couldn’t learn at 8, I certainly can’t learn at 55.

I work in a town with a river and canals, at no point has it been relevant. I’m genuinely curious to know what experience I am missing. What normal life experiences or opportunities will I be missing out on? It’s a genuine question as I have never had to turn anything down as a result.

I haven’t taught swimming for many years so no vested interest anymore.

Any activity near water (even walking on a canal path) carries a risk that you may end up in the water should something go wrong.

I’m sorry you never learnt. It’s not too late if you wanted to.

For me it's less about it being essential but logically we have a local pool so swimming is a good family activity. We don't have any local places they can cycle apart from a bit in the park designated for small children so I'm less motivated for them to learn to cycle.

I can’t ride a bike and I’m in my 40s. It’s not something that’s ever come up.

We had nothing when I was a kid so bikes weren’t really a priority.

I can’t swim with either - what exactly should I have been avoiding all this time? Aside from being a twat around water?

I realise you have a vested interest in saying that but apart from water sports, what other activities would have to be avoided?

And I did the lessons as a kid but they never managed to teach me.

What do you class as an “essential life skill”? Something you literally cannot survive unless you’re able to do it? So eating, breathing and going to the toilet?

I think there are loads of “essential life skills” that yes, technically you can manage without them. You can technically manage without being able to budget. You can technically manage to live without being to hold down a job. You can technically manage to live without being able to cook. I mean, you can technically manage to live without being able to read. No one would argue that it’s still an essential life skill.

I’d argue it’s an essential life skill because there are a lot very normal and common life experiences you’ll miss out on, and a lot of opportunities you won’t be able to take. Also, it’s very easy to learn for most kids. I’ve taught many children to ride (my own and a large bunch of kids over the years at the school I work at).

I'm old now but: I learnt at 4yo and loved it. Am quite upset now as would be dangerous/unsafe to do it now as I cannot grip the brakes!

The feeling of being self propelled and wind in your face, to me is exhilarating. Get an inexpensive bike for him, maybe a used one. If he doesn't like it not a lot is lost.

That’s a hell of a lot of people managing their lives without an allegedly essential life skill.

Swimming, not essential? Okay argue with me about cycling all you want but swimming is absolutely an essential life skill. It’s lifesaving. You could probably get by without it, but you’d have to avoid a HUGE number of activities to keep yourself safe.

Fair enough. I’ll amend my “definitely” to “almost definitely” to take into account your anecdotal evidence. A survey done in 2024 showed that 24% of British adults couldn’t ride a bike and 22% of them wished they could.

I cycled everywhere as a student and in my 20s, it saved me money on bus fares and so enabled me to be not on the breadline after buying my first home as my transport costs to work were almost zero! It also got me out and about at weekends

According to WHO in 1999, essential life skills are:

Communication and interpersonal skills

Decision-making and problem-solving

Creative and critical thinking (the "4 Cs")

Emotional intelligence and self-awareness

Resilience, adaptability, and self-control

Digital literacy and financial management

Specific skills like driving, cycling, skiing, swimming may fall within those but are not universally essential. The usefulness of these things is dependent on your location and lifestyle.

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/general/life-skills.html

People move. For instance I moved here from the UK.

I can’t see how it’s essential either. I can’t ride a bike (I have very poor balance so never cared to learn) and my daughter was never bothered about it.
Before I could drive I’d either walk or get a bus. Never had a gang of mates who all had bikes either.
If he’s not bothered, I’d not push it. We’re all different and all enjoy different things. I never look at someone who doesn’t do something I like to do and think well I just don’t understand it, it’s an essential skill.

Assuming the OP and most of the ‘essential life skills’ people are in the UK, then a remote factory town that thrives isn’t something most people are likely to experience.

The population is shrinking so lots must think the same as you, though its mainly the young people moving away for studies then settling where they go. Its a lovely place but it does have its difficulties. But not a tiny village, its a factory town with a massive art scene

Regardless of driving status, I can’t imagine what would possess anyone to live somewhere like that. I know you aren’t in the UK but it sounds like one of those tiny little villages here where everyone knows everyone else 😩

If your car breaks down, if you can’t afford fuel or whatever, you are stuck there.

You don't live somewhere like that if you do have public transport and uber. There's no uber at all where I am and the only buses are school ones and long distance coaches. The train station is in the next town so if you want to go anywhere that coaches don't go you need to either drive, pay extortionate rates for a taxi (maybe 30 euros now for the 7km drive to the station) or cycle. The athletics track for PE is in the other town so the teenagers need to bike those 7km, they can't get there otherwise. People living in the other town needing to use any bureaucratic services (tax office, job centre, legal aid etc.) need to drive or cycle to get to it in my town, there's no other way unless they have all day for walking. Even further for those living in the village that's still part of this municipality (though they do at least have their own train station), too far for cycling.

as I see it learning to ride a bike used to foster independence and gave confidence. Now though parents don't let their children out to play let alone ride a bike somewhere. I had the freedom at the weekend to ride to friends houses 1 or 2 miles away when was around 9/10 years old.

My own dds both learnt to ride bikes and one rode to school and back which was 1.5 miles each way - this was back I the 00s and I still do see children cycling to the same school so its still happening.

cycling does have a lot of mental health and physical health benefits, but you can get them from other exercise. The beauty of cycling is it doubles time, as you can go somewhere/commute and get the benefits of exercise at the same time.

Rather than an essential skill id say its a rite of passage

Being able to ride a bike opens up loads of fun opportunities. Dc loved to hire a bike at places like Bedgebury and just take off. Bike hire along some lovely cycle paths. Fantastic cycling on hired bikes on Lanzarote, in Vietnam, in France. And also in the wonderful Bluebell Trail in SE England - similar fantastic bike trails in the peak district (e,g Manifold, Tissington, Monsal) where you see the best of the area .

Makes for a lovely and cheap day out, and a great alternative to theme parks etc. Kids love the sense of adventure.

And as teens they may not go straight from Mum Taxi to owning their own car. Many of us can't afford for teens and young adults to have a car, with the insurance etc. It's prohibitive.

We live in London and I am terrified of the traffic and other cyclists who speed along cycle lanes faster than the traffic, but mine spent a year in Cambridge - cities like that are made for cyclists and the buses wee expensive and not especially convenient. Same with Oxford.

OP - I wonder if you can borrow a bike for him to learn on? Do you know a family where the Dc have bikes and cycle? I am half way between YABU and YANBU. I wouldn't go out and but a bike yet but I would look for ways to see if he can learn and enjoy it.

Google parks with bike hire near you. The Royal Parks in London have bike hire, as do others, NT places often offer bike hire.

I would recommend the balance-bike technique for older Dc too - have the seat low enough so they can put their feet on the ground, freewheel down a gentle slope learning to balance and steer, once confident, try pedalling once on motion.

I did do my paper round on my bike (quite the challenge given that it’s very hilly so most of it was having to walk!) but haven’t used it since. I tried once and it didn’t end well.

There is a stigma to being a cyclist now. It is a shame that so many people who CAN ride, can’t do so on the road though. Riding the pavements is safer for them but more dangerous to pedestrians. It is also potentially intimidating to have them ride towards you in the middle of a relatively narrow pavement (which is why I won’t move out of their way).

And If it’s that great for transport, I don’t understand why they hop on a (packed) train (the ones without the cycle area) with their bikes.

I DO live in a place like that -Uber is a new-ish thing here, and public transport is not great. I haven’t cycled since I was a child and that wouldn’t be an option.

Yet I have never missed out by not driving. I had lessons in my 40s but it was clear I was never going to get through a test.

Even now, when I have a job that involves a certain amount of travel, I manage fine.