AIBU to let 11 year old DSS manage his own contact with his mum after dealing with endless rudeness/abuse and problems from his biological mum?
She is meant to visit once a month and call twice a week. She comes more like once every 3-4 months, calls maybe once a week and gives no explanation or apology when she doesn’t call. If we ever miss video contact I am inundated with texts and calls and we of course explain apologise and rearrange if something has come up, or notify in advance if we know we can’t do it.
We make plans for contact to progress but she never sticks to it and then blames us for keeping him away from her.
She hasn’t attended a single (virtual) parents evening in 5 years and doesn’t ask about progress or show interest in him aside from when they occasionally speak.
DSS wouldn’t have a smart phone if it wasn’t for their contact. He would just be getting a basic phone for calls and texts as he is starting to walk from school.
AIBU if from now on I say she can have all communication directly with him, he can communicate with me about dates for visits etc. and she can explain directly to him when she doesn’t call etc. as honestly she has created so much unnecessary stress in our lives. She refuses to use a parenting app.