Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

536 replies

LovelyBranches · 25/03/2026 21:29

Dd is 9 and loves singing. She goes to her school choir after school group and goes to signing lessons outside of school. She has competed (and won) at the Eisteddfod.

Yesterday she came home from school very upset, unbeknownst to us she had auditioned for a place in her choirs Christmas show which will be on tv. She didn’t get in. There were 3 children in her year that didn’t get in. DD was devastated and very upset about it.

Today she came home upset because the teachers had taken the new choir group to practice and DD had no one in her usual friendship group to eat with. She ended up eating with another girl in her class who hasn’t been very nice to her recently.

I feel really upset for DD, she sings all the time and will tell anyone who listens how she wants to work in the theatre when she is older. I am aware that the school probably had a limited number of places but I feel like they should have given places to all year 6 and year 5 pupils rather than what they did which was allow year 6 and pick selectively between year 5 and 4.

AIBU to think that schools shouldn’t have auditions for choirs at primary school level.

OP posts:
LostMySocks · 25/03/2026 21:39

While harsh it is a lesson that they have to learn that they won't be picked for everything but what matters is that they do their best and if they work hard they might be picked next time. Primary sports teams pick the best kids for matches.

It's possible that the choir was limited in size and they could only have a certain number in each lower year group.

It is sad that she won't have friends at meal times - hopefully this is only short term.

GrueyTwoey · 25/03/2026 21:39

She wasn't good enough, that's hard to hear Im sure but it's the truth.
You won't be doing your daughter any favours with the way you're behaving.

Bushmillsbabe · 25/03/2026 21:39

Was there a limit on numbers? Due to competition rules/space on a bus to get there/costumes?
If no, then they ideally would have let everyone in who wanted to do it and could hold a tune.

LovelyBranches · 25/03/2026 21:39

LoveWine123 · 25/03/2026 21:38

Rather than stopping all choir auditions wouldn’t it be better if kids (and their parents) learnt how to deal with small disappointments in life?

I’d be more inclined to agree with you if the school were picking the top 3 children in the year.

Leaving 3 children out in the year feels like exclusion.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 25/03/2026 21:39

Auditioning is perfectly reasonable, same as they will pick the best footballers for the football team or the fastest runners for a race.

It is a shame that she is one of a few left out, and a bit strange when she is clearly a good singer and been involved before.

KittyStanton · 25/03/2026 21:38

I didn’t get into choir in Y5. I practised at home with my mum and got in next time I auditioned. I would say it was a good learning point in failing and trying again.

LoveWine123 · 25/03/2026 21:38

Rather than stopping all choir auditions wouldn’t it be better if kids (and their parents) learnt how to deal with small disappointments in life?

LovelyBranches · 25/03/2026 21:38

Fidgety31 · 25/03/2026 21:35

Of course they should audition- they’ll want the best for the show and if your daughter wasn’t chosen then so be it - maybe the others were better singers .

You need to accept that neither her nor you will always get what you want !

She’s 9! School should be about fostering the things you love rather than making you feel shit. Publicly rejecting a 9 year old in front of your peers-especially one who loves singing is horrible.

OP posts:
LovelyBranches · 25/03/2026 21:36

all of year 6 are allowed to take part. DD is in year 4 and all of her friends have been picked, only 3 children have been rejected-one of them is my DD and now she has none of her friends to eat with.

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 25/03/2026 21:35

Of course they should audition- they’ll want the best for the show and if your daughter wasn’t chosen then so be it - maybe the others were better singers .

You need to accept that neither her nor you will always get what you want !

ahyeah · 25/03/2026 21:33

So she'll get the chance once she's year 6 then?

If so that's fair.