AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

They want to put the best team out and win games 🤷‍♀️ they don’t want a keeper who lets in 15 goals. That’s not unreasonable.

Parents should gently redirect. It doesn’t have to be a soul destroying experience. It’s about helping them find their place to shine.

So 12 out of 20 in year 4 are going? That’s 8 not going then. Which is not exactly what you were trying to portray when you claimed 3 were being left out.

You need to get a grip. Your child wasn’t picked for something. Your job is to help her manage the disappointment, not pretend the whole world should be changed to ensure she gets what she wants. Tbh, this should have been a conversation earlier - “yes, I’m sure you’ll be fab but remember lots of other people are great too so be ready in case you don’t get picked”. Football teams, choirs, chess competitions - lots of things have limited spaces and some children won’t get selected. It’s a normal part of growing up.

When you say she competed and won at the Eisteddfod- what Eisteddfod are you talking about? A school one and the urdd genadlaethol are quite different so just wondering at what level she won.

also surprised at them practising so much for a show 9 months away- are they not doing the urdd and practising for that first? Which show is it? Is it a high level competition or just a show?

sorry for all the questions. I think it depends on the type of event this is and if they need their highest level of singers then I think it is fair to have auditions. My dd is also in a Welsh language school so I understand the culture. They are practising like crazy now for the urdd genadlaethol in may.

also won’t year 6 have left by Xmas?

Agree fully no child should be auditioning for school choir full stop. Let them enjoy and love singing so good for mental health - a life long free pick me up

This, but obviously ops daughter competing and winning =. Amazing!! She is THE BEST!!!!!!
Daughter deemed not being the best = they are mean and evil and dreadful!!! How very dare they!!!

I think i was incorrect as I was thinking it was going to be three from the whole year group, not just three from those who go to choir.

I wasn’t suggesting your dd was badly behaved, I was just giving an example of what I don’t like, which is when schools give misleading criteria.

Stop making it sound worse than it is then, it’s not 3 children in the entire year group!

Disappointment is a fact of life. We cant always have what we want unfortunately

There were losers though at Eisteddfod, right? Just like your daughter has lost in the competition to be on TV.

I can’t believe how many women on here couldn’t wait to tell you how entitled you are and that your daughter must not be good enough! I agree with you OP, I think being in the school choir should just be open to everyone or everyone in a certain year group (if numbers are limited) it’s an activity that should be enjoyed by all and is so good for your mental health that it’s hard to imagine anyone excluding a child. It’s made me feel very lucky that my children go to a school where that wouldn’t happen. I wonder if you hadn’t posted your daughter’s achievements and just posted it as a question if the response may have been different. ‘Should you have to audition for the school choir?’ I’m sorry your daughter didn’t get picked, I think in the long run it may build resilience but there’s always danger that a child will give up when they’re told they’re not good enough which is really sad. I’ve run a few drama clubs (I’m a teacher) and I’ve known full well that some of the kids are going to struggle to perform on the stage or turn up to the sessions or even behave appropriately but I wouldn’t have dreamt of leaving them out (a subtle small part and a bit of imagination goes a long way) She can’t be a bad singer if she’s won award tbh could she? Plus it’s subjective, very few people are tone deaf, we all enjoy different styles of voices so I don’t see how anyone could say someone wasn’t a good enough singer, let alone for a school performance!

Would you have been complaining how unfair it is if your daughter had been picked but another child had been left out?

She has had lots of opportunities to shine at singing and will probably get more in the future. Maybe the teachers thought they’d give another child who doesn’t sing outside of school a chance?

Won't they have left the school by December?

God this is like our school’s football team. Coaches pick the best players and the parents of the ones not picked kick right off. Instead of just, you know, teaching resilience.

Some of these kids are dire. It’s not a kindness to put them into a competitive match.

And I have no footballing kids, so I have no skin in this game.

It's not 3 left out of a whole year group people!

There are 15 kids in the choir in her year and they took the best 12 of those.

OP if there's not enough room to take them all for a tv show then they have to pick the best on the day.

Just help her look on the bright side she's still in the choir and she's won something already and there's always next year.

As for being unhappy with the provision the school are making at lunch time for those not going that's a separate issue.

So there are 8 out of 20 y4 children not included, and 12 included? And 15 go to choir, of which 12 included?

Its a shame the majority got to go, but it is relatively small disappointment in life & children do have to learn to handle small disappointments.

So maybe have a chat with DD that she’s got loads of chances to excel at singing and this can be someone else’s turn to had a go.

You said MOST of y4 go to choir. Please can you answer clearly how many year 4s in total (including those not in choir) are not included?

I agree with you op. As for people saying it will build your DD’s resilience and help her manage disappointment, whilst I agree this is important, there are kinder, less public ways to do this when you’re 9 years old. Leaving only 3 children out is harsh. That said, I’d try and make the best of the situation now. I’d reassure DD that her chance will come and help her manage her disappointment as best she can. If she wants to work in the theatre she will undoubtedly face many rejections, even if she’s really talented (maybe there are clips of her favourite actors talking about this that she could watch). I would speak with the school if she’s struggling with friendships as lunchtimes though.

Yes, you calm down about it all, tell her you can’t win every time and she’ll get another go next year, and encourage her to take it on the chin.

You've said your daughter sings a lot, but does she sing in tune?

Why do you think she wasn't accepted?

ETA cross posted.

As someone who runs community choirs and has run school singing workshops I with you mum. Primary school children should have the chance for all who wish to to join in. It is thus sort of stuff that puts children off singing. I don't blame you for being pissed off on your DD's behalf.