AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

With this kind of thing it may be about the mix of voices. And perhaps they just didn’t need a voice like your daughter’s, even if she was good.

This is a really good point. I was at school with a girl who was a brilliant singer, went on to do it professionally, but didn’t get into the small, selective choir as her voice just didn’t blend well with the others for the type of music the choir performed.

If your kid had got in you wouldn't have a problem with the selection process. I get it.

But the best players will be chosen for school football teams and academy football teams and league football teams. If you’re chosen for those, you’re part of a more elite group, but if you don’t cut the mustard, you’re dropped. That will happen for school plays, at primary and secondary level, at college and university and in working life.

Your analogy to Tesco and the gym is different, because Tesco shopping is a financial transaction and at the gym, you challenge yourself to improve your own performance, not a competition with other gym goers, unless they’re putting on an exhibition.

I'm going to be honest given how upset this has made you it's probably quite helpful for her to experience a little setback like this and see it's really not a huge deal.

You seem to be spiralling over something so inconsequential I'm wondering if there's a bigger picture at play here and you're focusing on something small because that's easier to deal with.

But surely there are inclusive choirs. She is in one. This audition was for one single event which is some time away. She can still sing in the choir can’t she for other rehearsals
and shows? Is she being told she isn’t allowed to sing any more??

Not in any way comparable arguments.

Tesco isn't a shop with limited spaces and the gym isn't a competition.

Plenty of adults don't do. Stuff because they aren't good enough, or they try for stuff and don't get in.

Perhaps you're on the wind up.

OP it’s going to be tough unless you accept this. It’s raw when your kid doesn’t get accepted. But it’s part of creative performing. There are usually inclusive events and audition-only events.

With this kind of thing it may be about the mix of voices. And perhaps they just didn’t need a voice like your daughter’s, even if she was good.

At this age I would expect most kids to be able to adapt to sitting next to a different child for lunch etc, without too much drama. That’s not the issue to focus on.

I am sorry she didn’t get it. But don’t let her see how upset you are. Good luck for next time.

She's got y5 and 6 to do it. Relax a bit.

Maybe her singing voice isn't as good though. It's not about behaviour surely.

My brother going into the school choir I didn't No big deal

I think we all got the picture.

She didn’t get a place this time. She may do another time.

She may not always succeed in everything she tries. What’s important is the trying. Picking yourself up after disappointment and trying again. She will learn from this experience, although it won’t feel like it just now.

It’s a given that not everyone gets chosen for the things they want to do, or jobs they apply for. It’s upsetting, but it is part of life and obviously you’ll question the process, but tell how good you think she is and that there will be other chances.

Not just anybody who likes playing football is allowed to play in the football team - they choose the best players.

Why should the choir be any different? They want the best singers.

You mentioned Eisteddfod.Are the school preparing to compete in the Urdd in May?

Singing still very much can be her place to shine. Just not this particular show. Auditioning and not getting through is part and parcel.

Because you are twisting the situation to get sympathy when things are not as dire as you are making them out to be. And I think you are the one missing the point about teaching your daughter (who is not a pre-teen!) a bit of resilience when she can’t always get what she wants. Someone should have taught you too.

Year 4 is a child, not pre-teen. Her self esteem is only damaged because YOU have made this into far too big of a thing. Her place to shine is in the competition she won and the out of school singing group where she gets lots of solos.

You’re being ridiculous and I think you know it.

It’s hard when your child isn’t picked after an audition but if she wants to go into the theatre business she’ll have many rejections even as a child.
My 4 kids all enjoy being in a musical theatre group but not getting a part is a par for the course. It’s made them very resilient.
This is a great chance for you to teach resilience to your child OP. Failing is part and parcel of life and will ultimately make them stronger and more successful. The ability to cope with setbacks is a great skill to have.
The lunch issue can be turned around to be an opportunity to make new friends, she could try befriending children from another year group.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Could it be that they know that your daughter has lots of opportunities to sing outside of school, and they are giving the opportunity to those who don’t have the experiences your daughter has already had? It’s rubbish and I don’t agree with it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is an element of that.
Hopefully she will make it next year and the year after and in the meantime you can use it as an opportunity to build resilience. If she wants a future in the theatre then she will need this as a key skill.

What would you prefer them to do if there are limited spaces?

Not everyone gets to do everything; that is just life. She’ll get other opportunities.