AIBU to think primary schools should not audition children for choirs?

That's life, though. You can't be chosen for everything, and surely primary school is the best time to learn this rather than when you're older and entitled as you're so used to getting into everything you want, when you want as your schools included you in everything in the name of inclusivity/ in case the parents kicked off?!.
Learning how to deal with competitiveness etc is an important life skill. The job of the parents can be secretly sad for their child, but at the end of the day say they're sorry that they didn't get in, but they can always try again.
I was always taught "if at first you don't succeed, try try again."
Is that not a thing anymore? If not, it should be. 🙂

Do read OP's posts. Her daughter has had far too many opportunities to learn resilience, having had to deal with multiple operations and disability all her life. She doesn't need yet more opportunities at the age of 9.

But the point that she is a good singer stands. It's not just OP's opinion, it's the opinion of a teacher of singing.

My niece is studying a singing and dance degree and believe me it is cutthroat. She has a beautiful voice and took the lead on all her school productions and at dance school danced in several overseas countries in competition but now at Italia Conte finds she doesn't get the lead roles. Others even more talented do. Your DD needs to learn resilience if she wants to enter the singing and dancing world as rejection is a big part of it.

@IdentityCris the OPs daughter was in a CHOIR that won an award at an Eisteddfod. She didn't win an individual prize.

Exactly. The situation is very odd given most children can’t sing that well at this age so the one child who can is usually a teacher’s dream. But maybe she had a terrible audition. Who knows?

the best thing for the OP’s daughter to do is ask for feedback. That is what I always encourage my children to do when they aren’t selected for something. Never ask why they haven’t been picked but what can I do to improve enough so next time I (hopefully!) will be!

Go on - be THAT poster who demonstrates that she hasn't even bothered to read the first paragraph of the first post properly. OP's daughter is already getting singing lessons privately. She clearly is good if she has won at an Eisteddfod.

You're saying the school's bullying her because she didn't do enough in the audition stage to get selected?

It's the same in sport. Anyone can join in after school football but only the best footballers get to play in matches. You probably won't want to hear it but maybe your DD is not as good at singing as you think she is. She can eat lunch with other DC not in choir.

Dont let the didactic comments from perfect strangers upset you OP.

I would let her teacher know that her friendship group has been affected and that she's upset. You don't have to ask for them to change the decision, but I would let the school know how she's doing and the issues she's facing at lunchtime. My son is 9 and I'd definitely talk to the teacher if this happened to him.

Being excluded at a young age has already damaged my DD’s self esteem-before it’s even had an opportunity to fully develop.

Didn't the solo singing and winning the Eistedfodd boost her self esteem?

Maybe she had a poor audition? If they hold auditions then that is the time you have to show what you have got, you don't get picked because you performed well at other times.

Maybe there are children who are actually better than her at singing? 😱

I do hope you will talking to the teachers at her out of school choir to say how unfair it is that other children don't get as many solos as she does.

How many children are in your daughter’s year OP? Of that number, 3 (your daughter and 2 others, were left out)
In my child’s year, there’s 2 classes of 30, so 60 kids in total. I would also be upset if they picked 57 kids to go, it does feel like an exclusion when it’s it’s on that scale. But, if it’s like my friends child’s school (who has 20pupils in his year) I wouldn’t be so cross at 17 being picked out of the 20, as it just feels like there’s limited spaces to me.

and learning that we can’t have everything that we want in life; she will have to fight hard all the way through life if she’s going to achieve anything so this is simply her first hurdle. She has two more years to have her chance and sadly, having singing lessons doesn’t mean that she can actually sing well.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh but your job is to support her to be resilient; it isn’t to turn her into a prima donna.

That is super sad.

I know this will be unpopular but you need to get him private coaching. Lots of the people who coach teams, also private coach. Find a team you want him to get into and arrange private sessions and explain the problem. Either they will think good enough for their team or most likely know other coaches of other teams. You need to hussle for the spots rather than just wait.

football is rather sadly one of those things where talent gets you so far and then it is networking.

When are you planning on her learning this lesson? Nine is age appropriate. Or were you considering leaving it until 15 because that could be very difficult indeed.

Go on - be THAT mum who complains about her little darling being left out.

Or you could try and get your DD some singing lessons privately and nourish her interest in theatre at home instead of relying on school to make allowances.

Just because she likes singing doesn’t mean she’s any good at it - I know from personal experience 😅

She was in the A team, she had won a singing competition, she knows what competition is.

What she doesn't understand is why she has now been left out for no apparent reason when 12 out of the 15 and the entire group 2 years above her were selected.

For me, for a 9 year old, this is one "opportunity to build resilience" that I don't feel she should have been offered.

Do they have to travel somewhere to film whatever this thing is? Is it the inconvenience of the wheelchair that has had an impact?
Is she a really good singer who should have smashed the audition? Or just an ok singer but you feel all should be included?

if she wants to work in the theatre, she ll better get used to it. You audition, sometimes yoy get the job sometimes you dont.

yes they are in primary school but she is 9. She can understand that she ll have a go again next year and the year after.
if thats your attitude in front of her, you re not helping. You need foster resilience and be happy for her friends. You need to teach her being gracious.

i know it s not fair but it s the same with sports. Not all the kids are in the A team, and some of them are in the As but they are subs.

it s life! Better start to model resilience or she ll find it very hard in secondary school

Well that experience is not universal.

My DC was obsessed football and tried out for numerous local teams. None would take him because he didn't start at 5 like others did so was naturally a bit behind. He didn't have experience playing as part of a team so while he was good at finding space and passing generously he wasn't very practiced at wider team dynamics.

There were no non competitive teams with ANY space at his age group, we were on waiting lists for years. He's never once been able to play as part of a team as a result, 6 years later.

I live in a big city too with numerous teams. There are seemingly not enough coaches to manage lower skilled teams (well there are but only girls teams).

There are plenty of auditioned (and non) choirs for adults too.

There’s 20 in the year, 15 auditioned and 12 went through, so there’s 8 (almost 50% of the year not participating.

My grandchildren auditioned for the Eisteddfod last weekend. So they do audition.

Nonsense. They auditioned. There was a finite number of spots. It’s nothing to do with either ‘morality’ or ‘bullying’.

Far too many Mners seem to be still living through their own schooldays.

Just because you enjoy something doesn't mean you are any good at it. Presumably others were better. It is hard when your child is not picked for something that they really wanted but it will stand her in good stead in the future. Resilience is hugely important thing . This moment hurts but she'll get through it. There will be far, far harder things in the future.