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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for expecting to 'sleep in' every day?

133 replies

SpeedyBulletTrain · 24/03/2026 20:51

My partner and I have two children, aged nearly 3 years and 4 weeks old. I'm a SAHM and partner works a standard 9-5. Our newborn is exclusively breastfed so I've been doing all the night wakes/feeds/nappy changes etc, of which there are many but I'm happy to do it all as there's no point in us both being up. Since baby was born my partner has been waking up with the 2yo at around 6:45 (sometimes earlier, sometimes later) and getting her breakfast sorted + doing some household chores and getting himself ready in the morning. I've been getting up around 7:45 with the baby, getting baby changed and dressed, getting clothes for the toddler, and dressing myself (literally 5mins, no shower, no makeup etc) before coming down to take over with toddler before he leaves for work at 8:30. The last couple of weeks he is constantly mentioning that he lets me have a 'lie in' every morning. I'll tell him I appreciate it as it means I get enough sleep to function the next day when I'm looking after both kids, but the constant half-complaints about me sleeping in every day are really starting to irritate me. Every time we see friends or family he'll talk about how he gets toddler ready every morning while I have a lie in. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that he's not doing me a special favour letting me 'sleep in', he's surely just doing his basic responsibility as a parent??

OP posts:
MrsF111 · 24/03/2026 20:58

Have you pointed out to him you “let him” sleep all night? I’m pregnant with number 2 and a SAHM. DHs need to step up and shouldn’t need to be told this but clearly yours does! I have no doubt with a 4 week old he is getting far more sleep overall. Don’t let him put you down like that infront of friends/family. “Yes dear I need that hour or so sleep in the morning as I’m up all night feeding our newborn and listening to you snore”

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 24/03/2026 20:58

Yanbu. I think if he's making this point regularly, some resentment has set in and he's lost sight of the overnight work you're doing. It would be good to sit down and have a chat about it.
It could be that there's no resentment and he's just being tongue in cheek, but is he usually unable to read the room?

PepsiBook · 24/03/2026 20:57

Why does he feel that you should also be getting up?
You've been up during the night, so why should you nyk be catching up on your broken sleep?
Is he also kept awake whilst baby is up?

Charel2girl5 · 24/03/2026 20:56

NuffSaidSam · 24/03/2026 20:55

The last couple of weeks he is constantly mentioning that he lets me have a 'lie in' every morning

I'd consistently mention how you 'let him' sleep through the night. Every time he says it.

Exactly!

Charel2girl5 · 24/03/2026 20:56

And in my book a lie in is 10-11 on a Saturday or Sunday morning!

KnickerlessFlannel · 24/03/2026 20:55

7:45 isn't exactly a lay in for you either. However i remember some good advise that I received on here, that neither of you will be at your best when tired so if you can allow him some grace in his snapiness (especially if he's usually reasonable) then do. I'd plan a calm conversation when you are both a bit more rested and maybe plan for both of you to be able to have a longer lay in one day each at the weekend u til 9ish.

NuffSaidSam · 24/03/2026 20:55

The last couple of weeks he is constantly mentioning that he lets me have a 'lie in' every morning

I'd consistently mention how you 'let him' sleep through the night. Every time he says it.

Charel2girl5 · 24/03/2026 20:55

Well what you do is tell everyone what you do hour by hour in detail. He’s being a total dickhead!