AIBU for expecting to 'sleep in' every day?

For the next 3 nights, I'd wake him up every single fucking time the baby wakes and see how he likes it. Arsehole.

In reality, I probably wouldn't do that. However, I do find men try to score points all the fucking time. So now I announce when I tidied the Legos, or filled the dishwasher, or wiped a countertop. You need to do the same. Announce every morning how many times you've woke up. Announce every single thing you do for the toddler and for baby. If he wants a petty competition, let him have it.

I’m a woman. I went back to work at 8 months PP, my partner did paternity leave from 8-12 months, including all the night wakes.

I found going into full-time work infinitely easier than being a SAHM and handling night feeds and changes.

Ye gods...

This.

Sorry your partner is a dick who needs an audience while he takes care of his own child.

I despair of men. What the fuck is wrong with them?

Express and swap for a week!

YANBU

Classic case of a parent who’s in paid employment, viewing the SAH parent as not having to ‘go to work’.

Caring for a baby and toddler is very hard work, despite being unpaid in most cases. It’s a very responsible, intense and important job. Not a moment to yourself.

Especially when postpartum and breastfeeding. That, in itself, requires support.

He needs to appreciate what you and your body have gone/are going through to nurture his baby. Pay you in kind. And realise that parenting is very hard work and both parents have to do it equitably.

To appreciate each other, parents should remember they could end up doing it all on their own. To remember how lucky they are to have the other parent sharing the load. He should consider how he’d cope as a lone parent.

I agree with others when he mentions that he has let you sleep in because he got up I would say yes because I let you sleep through the night you are well rested and can get up with the toddler

Tell him every morning how often you were up in the night. And if he moans again tell him he is welcome to swap if he fancies being woken up x times per week.

This!
He is an asshole.

Suggest taking it in turns, he can wake up and attend to the baby through the night with expressed milk and you'll get up with the toddler.
You might not want to do this but he doesn't have to know that, the idea is to let him choose.

He can't complain if he's literally chosen to get up with the toddler because he will choose that over waking in the night.

It's actually sad that he doesn't sound like he'll choose the harder option to help you out. You're body is still recovering, let alone breastfeeding and looking after two young children throughout the day (and night).

Can you make a deal where he wakes up with you to feed the baby everytime you wake up and you wake up with him to look after the toddler? That way both of you can both be equally sleep deprived and call it even.

Does he want a medal for doing it, he should want to do it so you get some rest also. Its called being a parent.

He gets to sleep all night anyway so it doesn’t matter what his job is.

Do you realise what operating heavy machinery means

You get woke up throughout the night to feed the baby, whilst he sleeps all night, then he thinks he a hero for getting up a whole hour earlier than you. Lol.

That's funny because my brother is the breadwinner holding down a full-time job but he still wakes up with his daughter alternative nights. He recognises how much work his wife does looking after a toddler and a baby all alone during the day. He hasn't lost his job yet.

Unless he is operating heavy machinery/performing surgery at work it is actually the OP who has the more life-and-death role if she makes a slip-up due to exhaustion.

This

That is fucking bewildering behaviour.

At four weeks old youd let a crying unsettled baby just not feed to prove a point?

Alternativelt Why would op wake up, feed the baby and then hand it over for her partner to finish off?? Then theyre both awake for no reason. This is part and parcel of choosing this feeding method.

depending on the age, babies can go multiple hours without feeding overnight. Not if they’re tiny and underweight obviously, but if not feed them and hand them over and their dad can cuddle them for a few hours.

Lie in, ha ha ha, I was reading thinking you were going to say gone nine, quarter to eight isn't a lie in. Breastfeeding is tiring, he needs to wind his neck in. Perhaps he'd benefit from getting up every time you do in the night. What a Muppet

I would say that’s fine, how about you do 12-3 overnight with baby. I’ll wake you we swap rooms and baby does not need a feed for one 3 hour burst overnight so just nappy changes and walking them around back to sleep, then I’ll get up with our toddler.

and if he won’t do that then no dice on the mornings.

When I was on maternity leave I woke with babybm for feeding throughout the night, and in the morning we had another feed and I slept until she woke up. DH slept in another room. I grabbed all the sleep I coudl get. If he's up and able to do rhis, that's his contribution and he needs to get over it.