AIBU for expecting to 'sleep in' every day?

I would sit him down and say you getting ready with our toddler is what I have done her whole life and I haven’t whinged 1% as much as you have. But I’m going to wake you for all the nappy changes this week and see how much extra sleep I get to see if I can cope with mornings, since you call some basic support for your wife who’s doing all the nights a lie in, you can provide some actual support like getting up multiple times a night,

F*ck me! Is he for real?!

You're NOT 'sleeping in', you're getting the rest you so desperately need to effectively parent 2 very small humans on your own for 12 hours.

My husband did a lil something like this when our 2nd one was 3 weeks old - came home and said "you've been on maternity leave for 5 weeks now, I'd have thought the house would be a bit cleaner."

I handed him the baby, left him with the 19month toddler, walked out the door, and went to my sisters house for about 4 hours with my phone switched off.

When I got home, he was very sorry and never again was so bloody rude.

Factor in the hormones and healing - damn! You are smashing it - hang in there xxxx

F*ck me! Is he for real?!

You're NOT 'sleeping in', you're getting the rest you so desperately need to effectively parent 2 very small humans on your own for 12 hours.

My husband did a lil something like this when our 2nd one was 3 weeks old - came home and said "you've been on maternity leave for 5 weeks now, I'd have thought the house would be a bit cleaner."

I handed him the baby, left him with the 19month toddler, walked out the door, and went to my sisters house for about 4 hours with my phone switched off.

When I got home, he was very sorry and never again was so bloody rude.

Factor in the hormones and healing - damn! You are smashing it - hang in there xxxx

’ It sucks because I WISH I could have more 1-on-1 time with our firstborn, she's fantastic 😭’

where ‘It sucks because” is equal or lesser than ‘he’s a cunt because’

It sounds like he’s only just learning to actually parent if you’ve done everything up until now. I’d hand him a bunch of parenting books and tell him to buck his ideas up!

I was wondering whether YABU and then I realised your baby is 4 WEEKS old. Definitely YANBU

Just a thought but can you use a haakaa pump on the other boob when feeding (I got great yield this way) and then DH can start doing nights, or at 3last some nights instead, then you can do mornings with toddler and he can have a lie in? Somehow I think hell piss and moan about that too though. There's a saying; "you could ask a man for nothing and he still wouldn't have it".

A lie in 😂😂 he’s welcome to be up all night with the baby instead

What does he think, you should thank him on your knees

You've been up all through the night ... remind him of that in front of family & friends.

No no no, it’s not a lie in, it’s recovering from the constant night wakings. You both get the same amount of sleep, but yours is broken into sections and his is constant. This approach is exactly what my DH and I did. I did every single night feed and only woke him up if the kids had stomach bugs or were under the weather etc. He got up at 7, got the kids ready for school and put the baby in the pram and walked them all to school. Then I’d be awake and ready to face the day. He knew I’d had severe pnd previously and washed to do everything to help me as he knew how vital sleep is to my mental health. Amazingly , due to his support and commitment to being a good dad I didn’t have ANY pnd with 3 and 4. With 1 and 2 their dad was so useless I was almost hospitalised and under all sorts of medical and social work people.

Also, it’s his toddler too right? He’s not doing you a favour by taking care of his own child. Men blow my mind every day, I swear.

Communication is important here. He’s not seeing your night time labour or appreciating what your body is going through. You’d be justified to be in bed much longer! Educate him, and absolutely get him to do a night shift with you and then get up at 6:45 if he thinks that’s fine!

Get up at 645 tomorrow and cheerfully throw yourself into it woth the toddler. Tell him to enjoy the lie in because he's doing the night with the baby. There's absolutely no reason you can't swap and have him bring her to you in the night.

One night and he will be desperate to go back to your current arrangement.

Then talk seriously about what would work better. Maybe you go to bed at the same time as the toddler and do all baby wake ups between 12-4am or vice versa, next person gets 3am-745.

No good trying to score points off each other on this. You are really tired with all you have to do - as expected with a new baby - and he is clearly feeling tired with what he has to do. Before you both start resenting each other you need to talk this out and resolve this with some sort of compromise.

Top stuff. Right on the chin!

It's bf or husband not partner and he chose to get up to feed your toddler so its his fault if he's choosing to be an actual dad and help you and it's not technically a lie-in if you are up several times to feed baby

Time for him to be woken up to do baby’s night time nappy changes.

He's clearly a lazy arsehole that resents a new breastfeeding mother who is up every night an hour or so sleep in the morning, before minding two very young children.

He really is an arsehole.
Time you told EVERYONE how you let him sleep through every night whilst you are breastfeeding the newborn in a separate bedroom.
Unbelievable.

Being a SAHM when your partner is a lazy arsehole is never a good idea.
He resents parenting his own child.
He resents doing the bare minimum.

Loser. Don't have more children with him and perhaps think about returning to work.
You are far too vulnerable when he is the way he is.

This!

Yes. I was given a copy of “Breast is best” by Penny Stanway before I had my first so I was aware of this when I was breastfeeding and this probably made me relaxed about being able to go back to sleep quickly.

I would definitely do this.

And probably throw in something like - 'well, you went to bed at 11pm so getting up at 6.45am gave you 7.45 unbroken hours sleep; whereas I got to bed at x pm, up again at y o'clock so even sleeping until 7.45 I got no more than z hours of unbroken sleep.'

He's being a dick.

How about he does night duty when he's not working the next day?

You are not ‘having a lie in’ you are waking up at a different time. What you are doing is feeding another human being for 12 hours and not requiring your husband to do it for you. Feeding another human being is exhausting.

DH is being a dick here. You’re not ‘sleeping in’ you’re sleeping after being up through the night

how many kids have you got? Those of us with one than one are all waiting…

I’ve just remembered when my two were babies (18 months apart) I used to go to bed at 9, my DH did an 11/12 pm feed. I would get up at 3 and do that feed and he would give a 6 am feed. Combined feeding worked well for us as both of us got roughly 6 hrs sleep. Both were a month premature and needed regular small amounts. I also found that giving formula at 11 really settled the babies until 3.