AIBU to be a little heartbroken my youngest is moving away..

40 mins is nothing.. quite a few of dd’s friends have moved to Australia!

@middleagedandinarage A cuppa every day? Who does this with adult dc? They are not babies!

I feel quite fortunate at the moment.
24 year old moved home after uni to save for a house. Her sister is in her second year at uni so she’s home often.
But they have plans to move out together when DD2 graduates.
I’m trying to savour every moment of living in the bubble of their chaos while not letting my thoughts go too many years ahead.
at the moment DD1 is trying to fill DD2s head with a possible move to Canada!!!
Whenever they finally leave I know it’s going to cripple me in the short term, I still have a few days of mourning when they go back to uni after the summer hols!!
But I’m so happy that they are confident enough to spread their wings.
must mean we’ve done something right.
The dog, however is another matter.
he’s never truly happy until we’re all under one roof 😂

Aww op I feel for you. I have a few years before i'm at this stage but i'm already dreading it. Yes 40 minutes isn't far but it's also not pop in for a quick cuppa every day either and just so different to actually have to make plans to see her rather than her just being around all the time.

I think it's the empty house, cooking for two. Even the dogs go nuts when they turn up for the weekend.

My oldest DS moved to the US .. try to get some perspective

Heartbroken 🙄 ridiculous but how very mumsnet
You’ll be “shaking with anger” next … or perhaps “sobbing with grief” 🙄

40 minutes drive! I thought you meant Australia! You probably need to get a life! Sorry.

Aww, your post is sweet. Mine lives 7hrs away. Coming back to visit for the Easter weekend and I cannot wait. I've loved being a parent.

40 mins is close enough. It feels like a huge shift but you'll get into the swing and rhythm of visits.

You do get used to it , the worst bit is the run up to it and first couple of weeks , then it comes your new normal

Have you not had an empty nest before with university etc?

Your kids have successfully launched and are nearby. Best to feel grateful and proud I think? Though some sadness is ok of course.

My kids left home and now it’s just me rattling around (single mum). I do have a dog so I have company. My son and his gf might come back to save for a deposit though 🥳

It is hard, and I do understand how it feels. However DH and I have got used to it just being us at home now. Ds lives a 10 mins drive away, DD a 2 hour drive - she never came back to live after university, but regularly comes to visit. I love having her back to stay, and having DS back too for a family meal all together, and I really look forward to each visit. However once we've dropped her and her DFiance at the station or driven them back I do look at DH and say lovely to have them come back, so glad we get on well, but nice to have our own space again.

I also love visiting DS in his own home, especially when he invites us round for a meal, and I'm looking forward to DD getting married this summer and buying their own house - it will be much easier to visit them for a weekend then.

I hope you get past the sadness and can really enjoy spending time with your DC when you choose to, not just because they live with you.

I agree that it's not healthy to purposely live right near parents. Not several hours away necessarily, but at least 10 to 15 minutes drive. (5 to 10 miles.... minimum...) I know some people who live within a 10 minute walk of their parents. Some live in the same street. Families of 3 or 4 generations who never left the village, small town, or big estate they grew up on.

Co-dependent, in and out of each others houses 4-5 times a week, never leave the area, kids grow up in the area, and grandkids, and great grandkids. Some work, some don't. The ones who do work, work within 1-2 miles of where they live. 3 to 5 family members work for the same employer. It's just all so odd in the 21st century. It's like Coronation Street. Very insular and restrictive. Most of them have never been abroad, and very likely never will.

I came on this thread to sympathise as I was surprised at how hard I took it when DS moved abroad, thousands of miles away. But OP, she's only 40 mins away! You can easily still see her, invite them over for Sunday lunch, drop by to help with DIY etc.

Dear God, 40 minutes drive is virtually on your doorstep, so she's not "moving away" at all. It's great she's doing her own thing though, OP, so just relax and let her get on with it.

I'll be heart broken too when my 3 fly the nest. And proud. And happy they are independent. What a wonderful job you have done if she is buying a place so young. 40 minutes isn't far, but it's also not around the corner....so you will miss her. Stay strong. (And don't buy her too much stuff for the place....she'll want cash to choose her own bits!!)

I drive 45 minutes to commute to work.

You’ll be fine.

Aah you will be fine . 40mins is not very far away at all. Spare a thought for us parents whose children are over in Australia,now that is a long way from home !

"moving away", it's 40 minutes, she's just moving out! You'll be fine.

I just had a conversation where I encouraged DS to
move several hours away. It’s healthy not to
live next door to your parents in my view.

Frankly, you need to get a grip. She’s hardly moving to Australia!

My 22 year old is about to join the RAF. Who knows when and where I will see him next. We have to let them go and spread their wings, it’s hard of course but that’s our job. Look on it as a success, you have raised her to feel confident and ready to be independent.

Mine are 6 hrs and 5 hrs . 40 mins would be great.

It'll be excruciating until you get used to it. Then it'll be fun seeing dd and hearing how she is. It will be the nee normal.