Things I haven't said out loud this week

Toodaloo mother truckers!

Why do you put up with it? I don’t know a single person who doesn’t think he’s abusive.

I’m glad I don’t have to listen to what part of your body is broken on a daily basis anymore. Or the results of your constant googling about which ache or pain is going to cause your early death. It’s health anxiety. It’s draining and you never listened to any of my suggestions which could have made you feel better anyway. You’re not dying.
But when your DC stops visiting as much because you’re driving them insane as well you’ll see how empty and lonely your life is. By then it’ll be too late as you’ll have pushed everyone away.

You have the rest of your life to be arse, why not take a week off?

You're wasting your life, spending all day lying on the bed watching shit. Im totally over worrying to work out what you're annoyed about this time, it's something new every day or too. Everything about you irritated me and I don't really see how we're in a relationship any more. Just two people living separate lives in the same house

Because I don't enjoy spending time with you. That's why I didn't invite you.

You're angry, miserable, judgemental and that fun sense of humour you had years ago has long since left you and all that is left is an angry person who has pretty much everything she's ever wanted and yet consistently moans about every detail of life.

Please also step messaging me with all of your "problems" because it's exhausting trying my best to help someone who just argued with every suggestion I make.

Nope. I’m not taking anything else on, you have several other people to ask for help but I’m the one that doesn’t complain and does it immediately. I think I need to step back now, I’m burnt out.

You have been going deaf for several years now, stop denying it and go to the bloody doctor

This meeting could have been half as long if you weren't so damn fond of your own voice.

Your establishment caused me so much hassle when they died, I've told you over the years they were dead. They're dead so stop asking me if they're attending your poxy gathering.

Oh God, this! Please, just do something, anything, with some purpose. You will never get better if you don't change anything. And I can't rely on you.

I'm sorry to hear about your medical symptoms; they sound worrying and uncomfortable at the very least.
But I'm not medically qualified. There comes a point where homely solutions don't do the trick, and you have to find out whether you need medication, surgery, counselling, physiotherapy.......how do I know?
Don't just dismiss the suggestion of seeing your GP for starters by telling me that "doctors are useless"; they might surprise you if you gave them half a chance, and let's face it, giving me the "organ recital" yet again is getting you nowhere.

Thank you for stopping to let me out, but I'm still going to wait until there's no traffic the other way because I don't want to die! And frenzied gesturing to pull out in front of said traffic will not make me any or willing to do so.

The more I hear about your break-up, the more I can see why he dumped you, and frankly his new girlfriend sounds great and is probably someone I'd get on really well with.

Said about myself, but only in my head.....

WTF made you think you can hang three doors by yourself armed only with a chisel and a YouTube video? You've been watching too many GenX videos babbling on about how we were the 'figure it out' generation.

So annoying isn’t it, especially when always on their phone!

Haha, she does doesn't she.

Mumsnet is, frankly, beneath her 😄

You're kind of cute

It's weirding me out that I find you cute because you're roughly 10-15 years my junior.

Omg I am actually just about old enough to be one of those "ooooh, young man" sad, creepy old ladies

Still nice, to have someone pleasant to look at for a brief daily interaction at my boring AF job.

I had the last word and it feels bloody marvellous. Fook off to the back of fook off then fook off some more.

You are an unpleasant, bullying old bat. Just because you had a hard time being a Mum and housewife in the 70s doesn't justify how vile and aggressive you still are to us all. No wonder you don't have any friends.

You absolute sad twat. Sitting outside your house every evening in your little van smoking weed with the engine running and your window down. I don't care that you smoke weed. I do, however, care that I can't enjoy sitting out in my back garden because it stinks of weed.

You can control it. You just don't want to.
It's not a virtue, matey.
Your choice, but then again, your consequences.

Cycle on the damned road not the pavement

Your flatmate sounds like a Mumsnetter

Self centred prick !