Ex disputing CMS and making rival Child Benefit claim in 50/50 care

All legislation CMS adhere to is online it tells you in their letters.

You will receive all paperwork from CMS.
You do not NEED legal representation. Up to you if you can afford to pay for it.
You may be asked to provide information as to who does what / for / with the kids etc. Things like appointments/ activities. Anything they want from you will be required before your hearing.

Tribunal’s are funny things because you will be told that you don’t need legal representation but when you turn up there they will have books the size of a moving box that they will be able to refer to with regards to rules and regulations that you won’t have access to which seems deeply unfair
And it will be difficult for you to challenge
Could you two honestly not just sit down and have a coffee?

OP is obviously not going to answer the question I've asked 3 times.

Which tells me that she wouldn't give him a penny if she was the higher earner.

So not only grabby but also a total hypocrite.

I think you sound very grabby OP - Why do you deserve any of his income when you arent married anymore and he is caring for your joint kids 50/50. He even offered to at all kids expenses but you declined as you want more for yourself! I hope he gets a good lawyer!

The answer is 5. There are no other possibilities.

I have a thread spanning a year explaining to you what has happened to me in this exact scenario, if you don’t want to read it and accept it that’s up to you, but having been through this process you will lose. And yes I think that’s shit and unfair but that’s the facts, you are going to lose. Don’t lose your kids too, mine are now alienated.

Scenarios 1 and 2 are NEVER going to happen. 2 can never happen if they give him child benefit for 1 child. Be realistic.

scenario 3. You may receive about £500,pm from him plus 1 x child benefit. But you will have to pay him around £250pm.
scenario 4 you lose £60 pm.child benefit and the £800 you're trying to claim now.

5 and 6 correct.

You are also forgetting that the tribunal could close your case so that wipes out situation 3.
You're most likely scenario is no.4. BUT he will then most likely not offer to pay half for shared expenses. So you will have lost this and 1 x child benefit. Most pps have said you are the poorer parent and by the time this tribunal is over you will be even more. Especially if you are planning on having legal assistance.
i hope you are not accepting that £800 per month as you will have to pay it back.
I think you wanted everyone to agree with you and because the majority have not you are outraged at this. But honestly you need to listen to the advice on here and do what's best for your children.
Its ok that you feel like you can't do the luxury holidays etc and be tap, tap tap with money all the time. You make your memories with the kids at your level, this is what The kids will remember.
But having parents who have fallen out durung their childood they will remember even more.

just been on the cms calculator

£60k salary 1 child half the week you will need to pay him £245 a month.

£150k 1 child half the week he will need to pay you £582

if you decide to keep the child benefit for the oldest child you will get £104 every four weeks on top of this

I have assumed given how grabby you sound you will want the eldests child benefit in your name rather than the youngest so you can have more money now.

so you will get £337 a month plus £104 every 4 weeks child benefit. There will be no further contributions to any shared costs either so you will fully need to fund everything yourself from the maintenance you will receive.

only you know if this is a better deal for you or not.

This thread is unbearable. I don’t tend to be a judgy person but this is horrendous. OP you need to have some pride. You earn a great wage, be proud of that, and show your boys what it looks like to provide for yourself and them, without looking for unfair handouts. They aren’t being affected negatively, they get to enjoy lovely holidays with their dad, and I’m sure you take them lovely places too. Why are you risking everything for something you aren’t (or shouldn’t be) entitled to?

You are not entitled to your ex husbands money. Sounds like you got a great, and I’m sure fair, divorce settlement. It’s just that, a settlement, not an ongoing commitment to keep sharing his wage with you. His responsibility is to the children which, by your own admission, he is fulfilling …. now you need to do the same.

Yes! The children benefit from his high earnings during his 50% time, and don't during hers. Believe me, I understand how sad it can feel when you are the parent that can't provide the treats, but the kids already benefit from his money and she has no right to benefit from his money directly.

You came for advice?

Then perhaps you should listen to it.

Yes I don’t really see the children in this at all however OP dresses it up, it’s all about her.

The kids get to go on nice holidays so they aren’t missing out. She is…

You actually state in a post that it's not fair as they get better holidays with dad.

You also clearly state that it is 50:50 care
All costs are split 50:50
Dad offered to pay the extra costs in full but £800 would be more money for you so you went CMS

1. Not going to happen as their is evidence of 50:50 care
2. Not going to happen as it will not be £800 based on one child
3. If they do this it will be less than this once you payment to him is calculated
4. Most likely situation but in addition your co-parenting relationship will be in the dustbin and he will not trust you. He will also not have to pay anything towards shared costs you incur

None of the possible outcomes will be better for the children through as the stress you have caused will impact them negatively

2 isn’t even legally possible so no idea why you’d think it one of the likely scenarios

2 or 3 aren't even possible. When he is awarded child benefit for one child, even if paying maintenance to each other is agreed, his requirement will not be £800 a month. Because that is for two children and you'd only be receiving child maintenance for one. But you aren't going to listen to anyone on this thread telling you what a terrible idea all this is. You'll reap what you sow.

So if you do "see all" on her posts.

In her OP she says for 4.5yrs theyve done 50:50 childcare on week on/week off basis. And half shared child expenses. When he appealed CMS they say its because she gets both child benefits shes the main carer.

She says they agreed shed get child benefit as he couldn't benefit from the money anyway.

And "It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs."

Then she commented in the thread and her first comment included "We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent."

So by her account its 50:50 child care, expenses are 50:50 and she got 50% or his pension and 70% of their assets in the dovorce, she got child benefit for both boys and he offered to pay 100% of the child expenses and she said no because £800 a month was more and it isnt fair at his house they get lavish holidays and she looks like the poorer parent. Which she is.

Why do you think 1 2 or 3 are most likely?

Surely you don’t get any maintenance for 24 months in a dispute though? It will stop once he gets the CB awarded to him and you will have to wait for the outcome of the tribunal so you will be up to 2 years with zero maintenance

Ah, fuck it then. I'll tell you what you want to hear.

Go do it. Make the claim, there can be no possible problem. Everyone supporting you know what they are talking about but the 80% who voted yabu are just negative ninnies.

This won't harm your relationship with your co parent and your children will be delighted.

I can't wait to hear how you can now afford luxury holidays

I'll ask again

If YOU were earning more than him would you pay him more in maintenance?

Its not nice to be called money grabbing but surely you can see when you divorced you got half his pension, 70% of the assets and now get 2x child benefit when he pays half the expenses and offered to cover all joint child expenses whilst doing 50% of the childcare

Where does the OP say that?