Ex disputing CMS and making rival Child Benefit claim in 50/50 care

well clearly it is about money… for the OP. She has said he does 50/50 care of costs and care but he earns more and she wants a peice of that. This was never about the children. She is on a very decent wage herself and if costs are split I do not think the children are suffering.

you, again, are making assumptions. First you said she earns 20k. She doesn’t. Now you are assuming he will dictate the type of trainers when all she said was he offered to cover all shares costs but wanted more money:

at no point in any of her posts has she said how her ex giving her money is going to make her children’s lives better.

Because then they get to control
They get to dictate that a pair of trainers isn’t necessary
That a cheaper brand of coat is available, even though that’s exactly what you would’ve spent on a coat when you were married
It’s never about money

He also offered to cover ALL shared costs. She turned that down.

But we know that’s not the case as it’s literally in the OP so the whataboutery is absolutely pointless.

She earns 60k. Why would you say that she earns 20k?

But if he’s earning 200 grand and he is expecting her to contribute 50% if she’s earning 20 grand then that’s not proportionate is it?
We don’t need a calculator for that one

We do know that. The OP literally said they go 50/50 on shared things as well as paying for the kids when they have them.

Ermmm.....well, we don’t know that. Depends who's paying for what, when, how often. Things like haircuts, shoes, new school shirt, mufti day at school, present for a birthday party. It also depends on who the school phones when there's an issue (and thus who comes out of work), who does medical appointments, how childcare is arranged eyc etc etc

I did a so called 50/50 with my ex. Financially, all he contributed was an evening meal and a few second hand car boot clothes. I did all uniform, shoes, haircuts, activities, music lessons, parties, ferrying to and from activities, medical appointments, sick days etc. I also paid for full time childcare for 5 days a week because I needed it and his consideration was that if he wasn't available then I should be. This meant a text 5 minutes before the end ofvthe day saying he was 50 miles away, for example. Ex used that childcare every single day but never paid a penny.

And as I said, there is no greed involved in expecting a co parent to make a financial contribution towards the upbringing ofvtheir children.

First of all, you don’t know what the other situation is and secondly
Often the children don’t benefit from father’s income when it’s left to his discretionary spending
They have to be forced to pay that’s why the child maintenance service exists
It should actually be embarrassing to admit that you have to use it as a non-resident parent. That should be a shameful thing to admit to.

He does contribute proportionally. The kids will likely benefit from their father earning more in the time they are with him. Mum's hardly on the breadline, either.

This

she fought /argued and lost

but has come back to iodate which in time will hopefully help someone else in same position

sure no one is delighted

Another one who was on the thread before, not delighted as it's not a nice situation to be in - just please take the decision as a reason to be cautious, and to see if there's any scope for compromise to avoid things getting worse. If you can keep on good terms with the ex it'll be worth it.

I, for one, am not delighted, but it was predictable and we tried to warn you. I'm sorry that you are now likely to be worse off overall. (ETA Although maybe I've read it wrong as you seem to still be expecting that you'll be better off overall.)

How is the relationship between the two of you now? Is it worse and you regret taking it this far, or 🤞is all the same as he just saw it as an admin exercise?

Is there still any room for compromise? Have the children been affected at all?

I also want to thank you, and @ProlongedAffair for being so open and coming back many times despite the poor outcome(s). I'm sure lots of people are learning from your experiences.

If he’s 50/50 then no CMS usually applies.

Amazing news. I hope child maintenance can close the case. I wonder if your ex could contest child benefit for your youngest once your eldest turns 18? Do keep us updated.

Honestly I’d wait to see the final outcome and remember once your down to just the youngest he can argue the 50/50 Split still.

There's a good chance you're still putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5.

They may simply say it's 50/50 care, which it is and no cm payments due either way and each get one lot of child benefit

I think CMS are unlikely to be able to give you the outcome you wish for, though I understand your logic

If they accept 50:50 they may well close the case with no maintenance due.

If they do award you maintenance against each other it won’t be based on his actual salary - it’ll be based on the 156k maximum with a percentage removed to reflect the fact the eldest is classed as being part of his household.

Also when your eldest ages out he may very well pursue CB for your youngest and the process will begin again

So how the CMS will either close the case as it's clearly 50:50 care

Or it will be you paying maintenance for eldest and he paying maintenance for youngest based on shared care. How much will you be left with after losing one child maintenance and paying him for on child?

It's also worth baring in mind that he won't have to contribute to anything such as trips and uniform for youngest as this will be expected to come out of the maintenance you receive

Do you think you will still be better off? Will it be worth the damage you have caused to your co parenting relationship?

.

Why should he give you £800 a month if he’s already supporting the children 50% of the time? Unless it’s for specific child related expenses (eg school fees) YABU. It’s child support, not a divorce settlement.

@fixatedplanet
For someone who wants more money you seem happy to throw away the money you do have on a pointless exercise
And damage your relationship with your ex for no reason too

As @ProlongedAffair has told you about 8 times, she has. I suppose you're hoping they'll change the law by then. Or maybe bend it just for you.