Ex disputing CMS and making rival Child Benefit claim in 50/50 care

Um.. what? He pays for the kids fully during his time. So if he planned a holiday, he’d pay for that fully. The OP isn’t paying half of the kid’s costs when they’re with their dad.

I think she means things like school trips, clubs, childcare etc. But he isn’t asking her to pay half the cost of him taking them on a holiday. That’s his costs. He also offered to cover their costs 100% so OP wouldn’t have to pay for any of their trips, clubs, activities etc. She said no because she wanted to claim CMS to “get more money that way.” Greed. It’s greed.

She just didn’t think it through and realise that he was giving her the child benefit out of kindness, and could go after it himself to stop her claiming CMS that she isn’t entitled to. The only reason she is entitled to CMS is because she gets the child benefit. She only gets the child benefit because he let her. They are actually both entitled to that benefit, and legally should claim for one child each (whether or not they actually receive the money due to income). She is using the child benefit as the basis for claiming CMS. Since she isn’t actually entitled to both child benefit claims, that means she isn’t entitled to CMS. He is just fixing that to stop her fraudulent claims.

You’re just making stuff up to have a go at a man. Just because he is a man. But this guy hasn’t done anything wrong. He is fully 50/50 with the kids and funds half of their joint costs plus fully funds their time with him. The OP is the money grabber here.

He has already offered to pay more than half of shared expences due to the difference in incomes. Op said no.

And if he wanted to take the kids to Disney, he would pay for it. He wouldn't ask op for half ..Op has already said, they are responsible for what they do in their own time.

Why do you feel he should still pay you money if he has them 50/50? He looks after and pays for the kids when he has them, and you should do the same.

This
You are coming across as being very greedy OP.
He has your children 50/50 so shouldn't be paying any maintenance.
His high earnings are irrelevant, you are no longer married.
You are earning a decent salary.
Let this go OP

But it would be his fault if the kids had to go without because he can afford the difference between what OP can afford and half the cost but chooses not to bridge the gap?

“What a pity Mum can’t pay half the cost of This trip to Disney/University Fees/A car - looks like my contribution gets to be zero. Looks like I have to just go on the trip with my girlfriend, and have an even more ridiculous car. Go talk to Mum- it’s not my fault she can’t pay half of the big ideas I put in your head.”

Who would the 14 year old prefer to tay with?

Because once you split, you are responsible for your children, not your ex partner in the majority of cases.

Whereas a "together couple" would likely have a more pool of family resources. Its a totally different scenario once the couple split.

The ex shouldn't have to supplement his ex's household just because he earns higher. He pays 50% of his children's costs and also has them 50% of the time...as he should. I hope he does not have to pay once it goes to court as it seems he is doing right by his kids.

He also offered to pay for extra costs to reflect his higher income. He does not seem to be an unreasonable person.

Op this could be very tricky.

income isn’t the only thing a court will take into consideration here and so you need to think through the situation as a whole.

were you married? Was there an asset split?

if you are struggling to feed and house your children while your ex is not, and you are separated rather than divorced then this is one thing.

look at the big picture.

Why would you think this is okay OP? I really hope he wins and has to pay you nothing. Disgusting behaviour.

He will get half the child benefit. Your greed will backfire on you.

There was a poster in your exact situation and we all told her not to go to CMS but she did anyway.

He challenged the child benefit and won, so they get child benefit for one child each but he earned too much so doesn’t receive the money. It’s still his claim though. Once he got the child benefit, he was able to claim CMS from her for one of the children. She could claim CMS from him for the other one. So they have to pay each other, and she ends up with a little extra.

You’re 50/50. Trying to get £800 a month from him is despicable. He will 100% win here. You’ll lose child benefit for one of the kids and he can claim CMS from you for that child.

Why do you do more if it's 50/50? How? What are you doing?

We don't know that he isn't. Say both of them spend 50% of their income on child-related expenses (running a home, education/hobbies, clothes, holidays) then that's OK, isn't it?
OP can't expect her ex to boost her household income so she can spend the same amount as her ex.

Him earning more doesn't mean you're entitled to boost your own income. It would be different if you were on a very low income, where you'd be struggling to pay for basics and he would be providing a luxurious lifestyle. But given you're on 60k I think you'd struggle to evidence that there would be a significant disparity in lifestyles to justify CMS on 50/50. Be prepared that he may well be awarded CB for one (regardless of whether he actually gets the money) and that no maintenance would be due.

The disparity of income means it should be going through court. Not CMS.

Your ex sounds very reasonable... he's offered to pay for all shared expences to reflect his higher income but you wanted more, and have now risked loosing out.

I morally don't think one parent should owe maintenance if it is truly 50/50, and actually since it is 50/50, maybe he should get half child benefit claim. Feels like you want him to supplement your lifestyle.

You have now likely soured relations, for what? Should have taken his original offer of paying all shared expences.

I think you sound greedy, he is paying his fair share on a 50/50 basis

In that other post, it wasn't truly 50/50. The father actually had them slightly more, as OP eventually conceded. It was the historic years that the OP was relying on, where she did more care, but as the children got older was no longer the case.

If it does go 1 child each, try to retain the younger child as payments will continue for longer. I think in separate households, they will both be considered the older child with the higher rate, but you'd need to research or get advice on that.

I do think it's likely you'll lose one, which is a shame, but a possible price to pay for poking the bear.

Can you and ex still agree a smaller payment as a compromise, while you continue to claim both CB and he withdraws his claim?

But it’s not the other case? It seems maintenance is due - a result of the disparity in incomes. This is fair.

If a higher earner in a together partnership demanded a 50/50 split of child related costs, there would be cries of LTB. No idea this is considered greed when a relationship breaks down,

My partner had this exact issue.
His ex earns plenty. He earns more.
She put a claim in to CMS and so he got one of the kids CB (even though he had to pay it back) and then put a rival claim in against her too.
So instead of her receiving half of everything, and the full £175 CB.
She gets about £80 CB and then about £290 from him, however she also has to pay him £200 for the child he has the CB for.
So she is actually worse off as she gets roughly the same amount but he no longer pays half of everything.

He is currently in the process of going back to CMS to get it shut down completely due to 50/50 equal shared care.
She does nothing more than he does. In fact, he did more nights than her last year due to circumstances!

Why should your ex pay you anything else? You earn a decent wage and are no longer together so as long as he is paying his way when he has them and 50% of the costs outside of that, it is no longer his responsibility to subsidise your lifestyle.

Be very careful. The last poster in a similar situation who posted in here now has two teens who live with their father and refuse contact with her

In the other case he was paying when he did not need to and doing 50/50 The boys voted with their feet.

she also kicked off that he might get one child benefit. Now he gets both and will get cms from her because she was greedy. Lying to get money you are not entitled to is greedy.

she lost her children for money. She lost a co parenting relationship for money. The ex even offered to stop it all if she would just be honest basically and she still went ahead.

That op also tried to make out that despite 50/50 she was the main resident parent. Very angry that she did do more when they were younger. Her house of cards fell from greed.

She’s now trying the his poisoned them against me rather then them being teens with ears and brains.

You need to take proper legal advice.

If you have a genuine 50/50 then he will very likely be awarded one of the CB claims and no maintenance will be due through CMS.

For very high earners you go through court for maintenance arrangements as they can do things in more detail than CMS, who use blunt calculations with no nuance.

Unless he is a very very high earner maintenance is unlikely to be due, especially if he pays for everything on his time and half of shared expenses.

It isn’t greedy to expect parents to contribute to the upbringing of their children proportionate to income.

So he offered to pay all shared costs and that’s still not good enough for you

meaning you pay nothing for your kids and he does pay it all - yet you said no as the cms is more money

you sound money grabbing

the money is to pay for joint kids. Not stuff for you

some people really don’t know when they are Lucky

i get £27.50 a month as the flat £7 a week rate as ex doesn’t work and she’s with me 100% of the time minus a few hours that I’m there as well when she sees him

by all means fight it but you will lose the cb as judges usually share half