Ex disputing CMS and making rival Child Benefit claim in 50/50 care

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Ok I did not expect it to blow up like this, from my perspective it does not seem at all fair if he has all the money which he could spend on the children and I don't have access to the same.We agreed through divorce and actually I came out with almost 70% of the assets and half of his pension, no spousal maintenance was due and that is what was agreed then but that was a few years ago. And they did say that during divorce if the children were 50/50 then there is no CMS due but that does not appear to be the case as they have already awarded it to me and he is paying it, so clearly there is! It is not fair to make me go to a tribunal at my own expense to have to fight this he should pay the CM that they have said is due! He can afford it comfortably. We both have our own careers and when we were together we all benefited from his salary and now the children do not benefit from his salary when they are with me so he can afford to take them on lavish holidays whereas I cannot so I look like the poorer parent. I am going to fight this and I am going to show that I do more than he does and I am going to win at the tribunal and I am also going to contest his CB claim as he cannot even get the money so that is taking it away from me. A few of you have said I can challenge this through a court so if the tribunal route does not make things fair then that will have to be next.

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

I thought no child support was payable if the arrangement was 50/50.

Hi all,

I’m really struggling with this and could do with some advice.

We’ve had a proper 50/50 week-on/week-off arrangement for the last 4.5 years. The boys (14 and 11) split their time equally between us week on/week off and we’ve always split the costs of shared things 50/50. He does his bit when they’re with him and I do mine. It has been working fine but....

The issue is income. I earn around £60k and he earns well over the £156k threshold. Because of that, even though it’s 50/50, I applied to CMS for child maintenance so he pays his fair share (it comes out at the maximum rate, around £800 a month which is a 50% discount as he has them 7 nights out of 14). I thought that was reasonable as his salary is much higher and he should pay more than half.

He immediately challenged it with a Mandatory Reconsideration, which was rejected because I receive the Child Benefit (he gave it up due to the high income charge and then during divorce said I could have it which only seemed fair). Now he’s put in a rival Child Benefit claim for one of the children AND lodged a tribunal appeal with the CMS. He’s basically trying to get out of paying anything through CMS and I could lose some of the child benefit now!!!

We are completely 50/50. He does everything on his time and I do everything on mine. But because he earns more, he should contribute more and CMS should sort this I would have thought, I should not have to go to a tribunal.I have started to gather evidence to try and show that I do more so it gives me a good chance at the tribunal and I guess he is doing the same now. I am going to get a barrister to help out at the tribunal to try and prove I do more but he does stuff too so not sure if that will help me.

I’m worried he might actually get the Child Benefit (even though he can’t claim it himself because of the high income charge) and that the tribunal might side with him. Does he have any chance of winning that? It just doesn’t feel fair because he earns much more than me even though we share all the care equally. He did offer to cover all of the shared costs but I have said no and decided to go down the CMS route as that will be more money than simply covering the shared costs.

Has anyone been through this? Can he really do the rival Child Benefit thing and what are his chances? I guess he has lots of evidence to show that we share care equally and have done for several years but he cannot even claim it so I would miss out! And what are the chances at tribunal? Surely they will see my side of things? He has started to pay me the £800 a month now so I have had a few months payment so far so that is good at least but I am worried I might lose it or be told to give it back.

Thanks in advance.

I’m not sure why you thought you could get CM if it’s 50/50. My ex earns over £600k. We have 50/50 shared care and my solicitor made clear to me during the divorce that if I agreed to 50/50, no CM would be payable. Seems like this may have been an own goal for you. I’d try to discuss with your ex and agree to withdraw your application on the basis that he withdraws his application for the child benefit.

Isn't that all meant to be taken into account during the divorce? Pension, proportion of the home, assets etc.

Child maintenance should be based on the costs of raising the children and the needs of the child. Once you separate or divorce, you shouldn't then benefit from the other parents income. Assuming your DC's needs were being met just fine, you now have another £800 per month, to spend on what? I'm not surprised he's pushing back. A case where an otherwise healthy co-parent relationship might have been messed up through greed.

Particularly if a mother has sacrificed career progress, hours to support said children in earlier years (and part of the agreement within the marriage)

She is not a single parent. She is a very well supported co-parent on a good salary with an ex who pays his share of everything and offered to pay more. He also let her claim both set of child benefit despite her not actually being entitled to both. Then she did get greedy.

Good luck @fixatedplanet

Youre not greedy. It’s not a race to the bottom bottom. CMS is a scandal of our times.. it’s shocking things are still shit for single parents and the societal expectation on single mothers is insane.. there is still no equality and even less if you are a single mother in 2026. Best of luck Xo