Aibu to be fed up with work ringing and sending messages

As others have said, you will need to act rather than just tell them what you boundaries are.
Put an out of office message on your work email at the end of each working day saying you will respond when next in work.
If anyone has the audacity to use your personal email, either ignore or reply redirecting them to your work one (no reference to the message content).
Screen your phone calls and don’t answer unless it is someone you know. Record a voicemail message directing people to your work number. I appreciate that with a child with health needs you may get lots of unknown calls but they will leave a message. Ignore texts from work.
People will do what you let them get away with. You are entitled not to be contacted by work on your days off.

Never answer work calls on your personal number.

Discuss with the union if you are a member. Join if not. Keep a detailed record of every unacceptable remark.

And look for a new job.

Don't accept contact on your personal phone. Block anyone that tries to contact you that way. If there is a work WhatsApp group, mute it so you don't get notifications.

Set up out of office on your emails to kick in as soon as you finish for the day. Put your working hours/days at the bottom of your email signature.

Keep your work phone turned off when you are not working or fix the settings so you don't get alerts when you get a new email etc. Only look at it if it suits you. Do not feel obliged to look at or respond to anything especially if it's not an emergency. In a big organisation lots of people can get sent/copied into emails all the time but there would/should not be an expectation that you respond if you are not working right then.

Check if there is a company policy on contacting staff out of hours. Where I work staff are not supposed to send emails between certain hours.

This is appalling behaviour on the part of your employer. You should not be expected to deal with work calls or emails outside of your working hours. They don't own you.

I worked for my last employer for 20 years. HR and my manager had my personal number, and in all that time it was only used twice. Once was to tell me that a work appointment, that was early on my first day back after the weekend, had been cancelled, just in case I didn't check my messages before setting off on a 90 mile round trip, and the second time was to tell me that a close colleague had died, very suddenly and unexpectedly.

Anything else was left till I got back or sorted out by someone else if it was urgent.

You asked: "Are people really expected to be available all the time? Am I being harsh here."

The answer is - no people are not expected to be available all the time. And you are not being nearly harsh enough.

In functional workplaces, people who have an "on call" aspect to their role have this clearly stated in the job description. It would usually be compensated either specifically - i.e. an on call allowance/overtime etc - or it's part of the overall package (usually very senior level). Nobody who has this as part of their role is expected to be on call 24/7 in a mature functional workplace.

If you work in an "always on" grind mindset type place then they may well expect this of you and then you need to vote with your feet. You can't expect to work against the tide.

If this is a case of them trying to get a full time role out of you in part time hours (i.e. those who work full time are not getting these out of hours calls) then that needs addressing with management/HR. Ultimately it might end with the realisation that you can't stay there. Hopefully though they "just" need trained - unfortunately by you. They are not going to change their behaviour - they have shown you that already. So you need to be extremely clear on when you are available and when you are not. There has been lots of good advice on how to do that already.

I work 3 days per week.

If my laptop is off (as it is on my non working days) then I have zero communication from work. Of course in an utter emergency I have some colleagues numbers and they have mine but I've rarely been contacted outside of my working days in over a decade.

@geekygardener you mention that you are not sure how work got your personal number? Make sure you find out and get everything set back to your work phone number.

I assume you set up your work email on your phone though? Or are they emailing your personal email address.

Make sure everything goes through your work phone and make sure you keep that off during your non working time.

I offer flexibility (can work an extra day and take it back as TOIL when a colleague is away or swap days to cover month end if it falls on a non working day) but other than making sure my direct team knew these arrangements and remembering to take my TOIL it makes no difference as I'm still incommunicado during non working days / hours.

Are these people who are calling you doing so from numbers you’d ever want to call in future? If not you may need to systematically block each number that tries your personal phone. Or look into whether you would be too unavailable to actual friends by going on having notifications silenced. I guess I’m saying look into all the features on your phone if you can’t get a new separate one.

Also earlier in the week a different manger contacted me 2 hours before my start time and was quite rude and abrupt, telling me that the company and clients takes priority, so I should be available to cover

not if you work 3 days a week you don't.

youve said you want to put boundaries in, well answering calls and messages outside your contracted hours just enables their behaviour. All the while they know you're there answering their messages they'll keep sending them.

put an out of office on your email account to reinforce your contracted hours and that emails won't be answered until you're back at work. And stick to it.

its the only way to protect your time. You're working for free every time you answer an email.

Block every work number from your personal phone and put in a grievance about being constantly pestered outside working hours and breach of GDPR.

I feel for you op. I worked FT but had a terriblemanager who would find a reason to contact me EVERY TIME I took A/L. I let it slide for years until I got a call, abroad, during my DH's birthday meal ( 60th) from a colleague telling me there was a massive emergency and I had to contact the boss. Thinking someone had died ect I contacted her. She wanted to know when the next stationary order was due! I was not polite and she sent me a text message telling me Id be in trouble when I got home. Next day I forwarded the lot to HR, included every time she had done similar and requested a transfer.
Please report this now , they are massively taking the piss.

YANBU. There’s a few things you can do.

1. Request a company mobile phone and tell them it will only be switched on during office hours. Switch it off as soon as office hours are over.
2. Speak to HR and advise them that this isn’t acceptable. See if they can step in.
3. Request overtime for any call you receive during your non-working hours.
4. If they won’t agree to a company mobile, change your phone number and don’t give them the number. After all, they’ve got no reason to contact you outside of work hours so email will have to suffice. I’m aware that this is drastic but your work life balance is important. This is just an option if nothing else works.

Yanbu . It does sound a little like you are asking them not to call/ message etc but then answering the calls and messages when they do.

Sounds like thats what youve got to stop.

If this is your personal number could you setup a do not disturb for a couple of weeks so that all numbers except (husband, friends, whoever) goes to voicemail etc. Hopefully they'll get the message. I would also document any comversations/ have conversations via email/teams about it.

Either way if you can id probably be job hunting (although new job is my answer to lots of things and I dont really like any of the jobs 🤣🤣).

Start by blocking all staff and managers numbers on your personal phone. If you feel like it you can email all and tell them you have done so and that contact is via formal work email and phone only. Remind all of your working hours.

And this is why no one at work has my number. I’m actually pretty senior but we don’t have work mobiles, so I don’t check my emails unless I’m in the office or using my laptop at home for the day. If you need me, you’ll have to wait until the next working day. If work want me to be on call, they can supply a device and pay me for my time. It is the one boundary I will not break!

I came to realise that if you give any work colleague your number, even once, you are effectively giving them a licence to call you whenever and wherever it suits them.

For a while I would only give my employer a landline number which, funnily enough, no one seemed to want to call (because they know that you aren’t constantly available on it, right?) and insisted on a work phone. I also logged onto the personal bit of the HR system and substituted my landline for my mobile number.

Over time I came to the conclusion that this was perhaps a bit restrictive and now that I am self employed I simply have a separate work phone. I give out this number to anyone and everyone work-related, but my personal number remains exactly that. The main advantage is that if the work phone rings then I know it is a work call.

Put your work number and hours on your email signature and simultaneously send round an email saying that you have had to change your number so will only be using your work number going forward. And definitely don’t give your personal number out again because they have already shown that they cannot be trusted to respect your personal time!

Ok.

Put on an out of office every time you are away that clearly states your working hours.

Don't answer any calls from work to your personal mobile.

Tell your manager that your personal mobile is not to be used, and if this continues you will complain to HR.

Speak to your manager about building resilence in the team so there is someone who oicks up urgent work and queries when you are not working.

Emails and messages are fine - people send them when it suits them and you wait to read them/ respond when it suits you. That’s how it works.

calls are different, if they know you’re not working it’s not right to call but if they don’t know it can’t be helped, just don’t answer.

It seems to me your company is paying you part time for what should be a full time role. Why don't you see if you can find a new job elsewhere?

It sounds like your role is needed to be full time and the needs of the businesss are incompatible with someone doing it part time. You should be looking for a genuine part time job elsewhere, and they should be looking for a full time employee to replace you.

I’d say calls after 5pm is fine, as long as it doesn’t go on all night but not on your day off. The odd one off on a non working day is fine but not a constant stream.

Change your number and start again.

If you continue to get work calls on your personal phone, you need to submit a complaint and they need to investigate how your number is being shared.

"Unless I am being paid manager, clients do not come first on my days off my child with health problems do....respectfully. You are paid a full time wage fpr a reason and I am not. I will not therefore, be answering non urgent calls outside work. This is unreasonable and guilt tripping me into replying whilst I'm looking after a sick child and expecting an immediate, unpaid response whilst contacting me on my personal number which I have not given to you [breach of gdpr there ..maybe -op] . "
This is what I would be tempted to say but it may not look good especially as you are new to the role.^

Get a PAYG SIM and stick it in an old phone. That’s your work phone. It’s on when you’re on, it’s off when you’re off.

Change your personal number and dont give it to work.

It's unprofessional and a data breach if HR have given out your private mobile number without permission. That aside, YANBU to want to carve out a life for yourself outside of work. Companies that take advantage like this don't actually value you as a human being; they'lI just keep piling the work on until you break and then they'll find someone else.

I would change my personal number and not give it to anyone at work (including work 'mates' who you may go to lunch with or occassionally see after work). Don't look at emails or your work phone when you are not working.