AIBU to be livid at kitchen fitter for pissing all over my bathroom like a bloody tomcat?

Ah, come on, it's only a bit of piss.

JOKING. I am a silent seether in this scenario. I would want to return to life my feisty MIL, who terrified the life out of tradespeople by warning them in advance that she was very fussy about her house, so she was putting down lots of protection and demanded the utmost respect for her home. They always complied, and really, respect for the home you're paying someone to maintain or upgrade is the least you should expect.

Put down a load of newspaper around the loo as a bit of a hint. If he asks say it saves the carpet, perhaps he'll figure it out.

A very naive post really. "Some" may take that in the right way and comply. The vast majority of "billy big balls" alpha males will deliberately ignore you and probably make a bigger mess on purpose as they don't like being told what to do by a "mere" woman!

I agree. My DH has cancer and is immuno-compromised. I started saying "no" to tradesmen using our loo in the aftermath of Covid, when there was genuine reason and people were used to there not being a "free for all". I still do it.

If someone is here for a quick job, i.e. boiler service, or carpet fitting, I tell them where the nearest public loo is, the moment they walk in the door, so they are under no illusions, and can "plan" if they think they're going to need the loo, rather than end up desperate. There are a few options, all within a few minutes drive of our house, so it's not as if they have to drive miles.

For longer jobs, i.e. a kitchen fitting, external decorating, etc., when they come to quote, I tell them to include a portaloo in the quote. They're pretty cheap really for daily hire.

We had a few awful instances in the past - one neanderthal workman used our towel to wipe his arse, so it was covered in shit. Another actually stood on our loo seat in muddy/oily boots leaving marks/stains I couldn't remove. And another left bits of shit on the wall beside the loo and all over the floor. Some of them are barely better than animals. A bit of wee sprinkling sounds tame by comparison. These guys weren't "cheap and nasty" workers either, they were local/reputable firms that were well known.

We've had 40 years of living in our house, so although such disgusting events don't happen often, we've been here so long, and had so much done (3 new bathrooms, 2 new kitchens, outside decorating 3 or 4 times, new roof, central heating replaced, re-wiring, etc etc), that we've had a lot of workmen in the house over many years.

“invalid”?

Lay dust sheets around the loo explaining to him why you’ve put them there and also ask him to lower the loo lid BEFORE he flushes……he might not have any idea that flushing produces airborne particles of piss. He just needs educating is all.

Tackle it direct... by asking him to better direct his tackle 😅

Call him back in the toilet to clean it himself. Tell him you've noticed he keeps doing this and ask him to stop.
Absolutely vile behaviour!

It's gross but I think you're right not to say anything. Shame makes people react emotionally and the last thing you want is him walking off the job half way through.

😂

He’ll just reply to that with, “it’s ok, I use the floor anyway”.

They are only foul if not washed regularly. Otherwise, they are a hygienic answer to a very common problem.

Sneak a look at the make of builders wipes he uses. Many of them do an antibacterial version. Put a pack of those in the loo. He may recognise them and use them instinctively (since he can't use higher reasoning). Or if you've enough front, give them to him and say these are for you to clean up when you go to the toilet.

If I tried to do that to DH, he would say 'OK Zov, let's teach YOU to pee standing up!' (Actually that might be quite a handy thing to learn!)

Long story short, he wouldn't do it, but then he doesn't pee all over the bathroom either. (He does get the odd tiny splash on the toilet seat though when he goes in the middle of the night, (occasionally,) but I can't complain, at least he puts the toilet seat down.)

.

It's a shame your toilet is out of order all of a sudden @MurkyMo

Put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the door.

On construction project teams, I used to tell clients that the real milestones in actual progress on site are not the sod-cutting and topping-out ceremonies. They are the watertight date and the day the 'No urinating' signs go up.

Totally unreasonable and OTT

,'Training' your husband to sit to pee????

If you can't bring yourself to tell him to just f'ing well piss in the hole, then I think the idea of a notice would be good.

My DD's house has piss all over the cloakroom tiles from her boys. I would not let it pass if it were me. Even as teenagers I would put a little duck sticker in the loo for them to aim at.

I’ve have actually said something before to a repeat offender. I wasn’t rude, just neutral and asked him to clean it up, which he did without issue. This was after a few times of doing it and then I thought, this is grim, I don’t want to clean his pee and why am I paying this man AND cleaning up after him(!) so I said something.

If it's really that bad I'd actually say something akin to "you appear to piss everywhere when you use my loo. I don't know if you have waterworks problems but please can you sit down to pee? Thank you."
He should be so embarrassed he will do as you say.

I have never come across this issue. I’m amazed at how many people say their dp or ds do it.
I don’t think you can do anything op other than being direct. How a grown adult can piss on the floor and not clean it up - especially in a clients house- is beyond me.