AIBU to be livid at kitchen fitter for pissing all over my bathroom like a bloody tomcat?

My husband's a decorator.
He was working in a house once and the woman who owned it brought him a cup of tea and a biscuit. He was up a ladder in the bathroom at the time so she put the biscuit (no plate) and the mug on the pedestal rug in front of the toilet.

Well you must be really offended by all the MN posts that regard all men as potential rapists then!

@Badbadbunny i do take it personally! My DB is very well trained in bathroom manners. I know this, because I did the training. He'd be affronted by the idea that someone expected him to behave like an "animal" because he is a builder. Or at least I'm affronted on his behalf.

@Blueyrocks

We're all just live by our lived experiences. I've had 40 years of numerous people coming to my home for various reasons. Whilst the majority have been absolutely fine, many havn't been so my house, my choice, all based on my experiences. I've never said all tradesmen behave like animals, I've never said no white collar workers behave like animals. You seem to be taking all this very personally. Given how this is a common theme in MN and given the large number of portaloos that seem ever more commonplace these days, I think there is a real problem and it's not something that householders should meekly accept as some kind of price of using tradesmen that they should put up with poor behaviour in their homes.

What do you mean "funny how financial advisors and even salesmen" didn't leave a mess? Do you think it's a class thing or something? A university lecturer left my bathroom in a right state once. Funny how it's only university lecturers who've done that, and the builders have all left it perfectly fine.

The hand towel thing is insane, and disgusting. Cannot imagine what would possess someone to do this. But I wouldn't extrapolate from one lunatic to all builders. And the "animals" comment just doesn't sit ok for me.

And what is with all the comments about builders and bacon buns?? One of my (builder) brothers is a vegetarian who typically eats bircher muesli for breakfast, but neither of them are heading off for hot breakfasts at 11am on a working day.

TBF, they do have to work in some filthy, noisy, dangerous environments, so can't afford to be too dainty about their toilet preferences. Maybe some lose sight of how clean a bathroom can and should be as a result of the horrible working environments that are their normal. But I don't know a single tradesman who would behave they way you've experienced some behave.

When you've had a tradesmen use your towel for wiping his arse and leaving it covered in shit, or another has clearly stood on your loo seat with oily/muddy boots leaving stains/marks impossible to remove, then, yes, those people ARE barely better than animals.

Funny how the financial advisers, solicitors, and even double glazing/kitchen salesmen who we've had in our house and used our loo didn't leave any kind of mess behind!

Yes, it's probably an unfair generalisation about tradesmen, but it's my experiences. And it's my bathroom, so I'll impose whatever rules or restrictions I want to preserve my property and belongings. If they don't like it, then tough! I make it clear from the start, so no surprises for them. Public toilets available within a few minutes, and they'd probably go there for their mid morning bacon bun or lunch anyway, so probably not even an extra journey! As I've said, for bigger jobs, I tell them to cost in a portaloo when they come to quote for the job.

"Some of them are barely better than animals" - some of who? I don't think this is an ok thing to say tbh.

You can't tell. You just give everyone the same treatment, ie access to the toilet while they're in your home. And if they leave it in a mess, then respond however you think necessary. The vast majority of men, even tradesmen 😮, know how to use a toilet properly.

Rubber fingers and autocorrect. Should have read incapable.

Autocorrect sorry

Please ignore.. should have linked to another post.

This is a good suggestion - I like that you have thought about face saving which might help maintain the high standard of workmanship. You never know how someone is going to take it if you just confront them.

I once saw a sign in a unisex loo that said "We aim to please. Would you aim too, please?" 😁

I think men who do this do so deliberately. They can’t not know. I have two boys and once they were old enough I got them to clean up after themselves with spray and wipe (I’d spray, they would wipe). So that sorted that out quick smart!

I used to know an excellent and really lovely landscape gardener who worked for us quite a few times on long jobs. It was a standing joke with his team that he NEVER used the loo at a client's house. I was sorry when he moved away.

The thing is that a lot of workmen make their own arrangements anyway and don't ask to use your loo. Most go out for mid morning bacon buns, lunch or just to go to get supplies they've forgotten or nip out for quotes/small jobs whilst waiting for paint to dry, or glue to stick, or whatever, and presumably go to the loo whilst they're out. Some go home for their lunch/walk their dog etc., so again, use their own loo.

We had a guy who replaced our conservatory, mostly on his own, which took nearly two weeks. He never once asked to use our loo (and no, he wasn't pissing/shitting behind our garden shed either!). I presume he went elsewhere as he never spent a full day at our house, as he was always off somewhere else after he'd done something here, and came back after lunch for another hour or two, before going off again.

There are also lots of "sites" where they may not even be a loo, i.e. building sites, bathroom replacement jobs, major renovations where the water/drainage is cut off, etc. They'd have to make alternative arrangements then.

Yes, I'm sure it is annoying for a "good" tradesmen to be asked not to use a householder's loo, but it's more annoying for the householder to find a neanderthal has ruined her towel or toilet seat, or pissed/shat all over the floor/wall. Their annoyance needs to be directed at the other tradesmen, not the "innocent" householder!

For longer jobs, hiring a portaloo is the answer and they're pretty cheap, certainly barely noticeable on top of the price for a big job like a replacement roof that takes a week or two with many blokes on the job (without a portaloo, heaven knows what the house loo would look like!).

I am not trying to defend many lazy men but some have medical conditions that mean they cannot pee straight or it shoots in different directions. However, I don't know why these men can't therefore pee sitting down.
Flushing with the lid up does my head in. My DH has many annoying habits but I am grateful that he is well trained with putting the lid down.

my first thought was "did their mothers not teach them better or tell their fathers to teach them?" As I have said, never had a tradie who did it or a friend or guest. My favorite tradie was one who was here for weeks and always used the airfreshener spray after he had used the loo.

How are clients supposed to know which they are before letting them use their toilet? How can they tell whether they will leave piss or shit all over the place or leave it clean?
ETA: perhaps that's the answer - have it on their logo or branding. And agree, your DBs have been let down by their peers.

I agree. I am astounded!

Maybe it is because I grew up in a house of sisters, no brother, have a limited dating history etc so not enough experience of men but my mind is blown 🤯 right now.

Why cant he wee into the toilet as an adult?! Why? What is the reason?

If he has a wife / partner - what does she think of this?

If he has male DC - is he teaching them this is ok?

I have soo many questions.

Why would anyone do this in a client’s home? Never mind in their own home?

Do men really do this? Responses
on this thread seem quite calm.

My mind is truly blown 🤯.

@MurkyMo I’d definitely say something because WTAF?!

🤢

I'd expect both men and women to have the decency to let someone working in their house use the toilet. Nothing gendered or "kind" about that. My DBs are tradesmen. It makes me so angry that they might be treated like this because of other people's behaviour.

Pissing over the back of the toilet?? What kind of feral men does the PP above know? YANBU but does it really need a full scrub vs leaving bleach/dettol to sit and then wiping? Scrubbing every day would make me more pissed off. I would be embarrassed to be very direct so I would probably ask him to please wash his hands carefully as when you go in there are drips on the floor near the toilet and it makes your socks wet (or whatever) and he will hopefully get the idea that you are actually standing in his piss not his “hand washing water”.

Is it weird that I’m thinking about what the end of his penis must look like in order for the pee to come out in all directions? Probably. I had people working on my house once and when I went in the toilet after one of them there was a muddy boot print on the toilet seat. You could see the treads and everything

Like another poster, I’m disabled. But in my case, that means I genuinely would be unable to clean up anyone’s piss all over the bathroom. When you’re disabled, I think you have to grow a thicker skin about these things sometimes because if I didn’t and I let some man do this, the bathroom would be covered in wee until the cleaner came on a Friday and why should SHE have to clean up some strange disgusting man’s piss either??? Text him a photo of the bathroom if you’re unable to say anything in person. It will also be a useful photo to put in your TrustPilot or local Facebook review of him.

"You are peeing all over the toilet and the floor in my bathroom. Please stop, or you will not be able to use a toilet in this house."

Not naive at all………..I was merely passing on a recommendation from the supervisor of the team who were recently renovating part of our home none of whom were “billy big balls” but were wearing work clothing, heavy footwear. Yes, the dust sheets got splashed and marked from their footwear but the bathroom flooring was protected.