Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Not all men” replies are ridiculous

334 replies

GarlicFound · 19/03/2026 21:07

Generalisations exist for a reason. There's no need to point out that there are exceptions. When you want to highlight that your comment's universal, you say "All children", for instance. Generalising to "Children" implies "Children in general, for the most part, usually".

Everybody knows this. So there's no need to specify "NOT ALL MEN" each and every time anyone makes a general observation about men, goddamit!

You don't say "Not all dogs [have four legs]" or "Not all ice-cream [is cold]".

Having a penis doesn't make you especially vulnerable to generalisations. So grow up, please, and accept that YOU or your DH are not "all men" - general comments aren't intended to single you out. And if you feel like they are, you're a bit thick, not to mention narcissistic.

OP posts:
ohyesido · 20/03/2026 14:33

I think the women who do this are preoccupied with demonstrating that they are wife material.

the same ones who jump on a thread about violence against women, to inform everyone that men suffer too

PICK ME NIGEL

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:33

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:27

I think they can but IANAL.

Actually I think there was a rare case I read, forgive if I got this wrong but it was something like a transgender woman (or woman pretending to be a man) who used a strap on but didn’t tell the woman she used it on that she was actually a woman not a man and it was rape by deception. So, I suppose it could feasibly happen.

Show quote history

Well I feel a bit sick in my mouth I’m promoting men’s rights but defs think there should be something to protect children. Not saying this happens a lot - but I’m not about silencing victims on either side

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:32

Chersfrozenface · 20/03/2026 14:28

There's no such thing as statutory rape in the UK. You've been watching too much American TV.

There are various offences under the Sexual.Offences Act 2003. In the case above the offence would likely be sexual activity with a child or causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity; "Child" is also variously defined as under 13, under 16 and under 18.

Show quote history

That’s why I asked… I haven’t lived in the UK for a long time 🫠

Chersfrozenface · 20/03/2026 14:28

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:16

Out of interest what is the law in the case of statutory rape? Like a woman teacher and a boy student?

Show quote history

There's no such thing as statutory rape in the UK. You've been watching too much American TV.

There are various offences under the Sexual.Offences Act 2003. In the case above the offence would likely be sexual activity with a child or causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity; "Child" is also variously defined as under 13, under 16 and under 18.

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:27

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:16

Out of interest what is the law in the case of statutory rape? Like a woman teacher and a boy student?

Show quote history

I think they can but IANAL.

Actually I think there was a rare case I read, forgive if I got this wrong but it was something like a transgender woman (or woman pretending to be a man) who used a strap on but didn’t tell the woman she used it on that she was actually a woman not a man and it was rape by deception. So, I suppose it could feasibly happen.

OtterlyAstounding · 20/03/2026 14:20

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 12:35

I will continue to say not all men. I have a young adult son. I will continue to say it because you carnt tar all men with the same brush, especially when you including my son as all men.

Every rapist, misogynist, cocklodger, or garden variety sexist man is someone's beloved son. None of us want to think our sons could behave in that way, but they very well could, and so it's on us to raise them to not be that way, and to also not be blind to the way society affects young men.

I have known multiple men whose mothers think they're wonderful and sweet, who are in fact terribly misogynistic and outright abusive to the women they date.

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:17

LumiK · 20/03/2026 14:15

The general "I hate all men, all men are useless, leave the bastard because he didn't set the dishwasher once and is therefore a dead weight" are pretty ridiculous too tbh.

I agree with this.

I just see people not accepting statistical generalisations about men but then go on to generalise about other groups accidentally.

There are two examples on this thread

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:17

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:15

Sticking to not all men, because it's not all men. It would be the same as someone saying all woman could sexually assaulted men. That's not true. Neither is saying all men could rape.

Actually that’s very similar to saying all women could have anal sex. Yes they could. Biologically. Doesn’t mean they all do

but fgs do you really need that explaining???

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:16

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:12

It would only feel like rape if a man raped him.

Which obviously does happen.

Men rape women and men.
Women don’t rape either men or women.

Edited
Show quote history

Out of interest what is the law in the case of statutory rape? Like a woman teacher and a boy student?

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:15

Sticking to not all men, because it's not all men. It would be the same as someone saying all woman could sexually assaulted men. That's not true. Neither is saying all men could rape.

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:15

Rape

Statistics on rape
Gender of Perpetrator Percentage of Cases
Male
100%
Female
0%

Statistics on Sexual Assault
Gender of Perpetrator Percentage of Cases
Male
90%
Female
10%

LumiK · 20/03/2026 14:15

The general "I hate all men, all men are useless, leave the bastard because he didn't set the dishwasher once and is therefore a dead weight" are pretty ridiculous too tbh.

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:12

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:09

But to a man it would certainly feel like rape

Show quote history

It would only feel like rape if a man raped him.

Which obviously does happen.

Men rape women and men.
Women don’t rape either men or women.

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:10

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:09

But to a man it would certainly feel like rape

Show quote history

No it would be sexual assault.

Just the same as if a man was to grab your tits it would be sexually assault not rape

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:09

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:08

that would be sexual assault

Show quote history

But to a man it would certainly feel like rape

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:08

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:07

So if a woman spiked a mans drink then did something sexually that the man didn't consent to then that wouid be totally fine? You clearly aren't the mother of young men. It's rape

Show quote history

that would be sexual assault

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:08

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:02

Well that's disgusting, the law should be changed. Woman can and rape then, the pathetic law didn't change that

Show quote history

the legal definition of rape in England and Wales is when someone intentionally penetrates another person's vagina, anus or mouth with their penis, without that person's consent.

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:07

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:04

No they can’t.

legally women can not rape because it requires a penis

Show quote history

So if a woman spiked a mans drink then did something sexually that the man didn't consent to then that wouid be totally fine? You clearly aren't the mother of young men. It's rape

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 14:05

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:00

Yes they can. Men do get raped by woman. You are a brick wall yourself

Show quote history

Several people showed you why legally that’s not true.
i gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you were referring to sexual abuse and agreed it’s not impossible.
but it’s incredibly unlikely

depacked · 20/03/2026 14:04

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 13:57

Woman can also be rapists.

Show quote history

No they can’t.

legally women can not rape because it requires a penis

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:02

Chersfrozenface · 20/03/2026 14:00

The only way a woman can be charged with and convicted of rape in this country is if she has assisted a man to rape a woman.

(By "woman" here I mean an actual biological natal woman.)

Show quote history

Well that's disgusting, the law should be changed. Woman can and rape then, the pathetic law didn't change that

Chersfrozenface · 20/03/2026 14:00

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 13:58

Woman can be rapists as well.

Show quote history

The only way a woman can be charged with and convicted of rape in this country is if she has assisted a man to rape a woman.

(By "woman" here I mean an actual biological natal woman.)

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 14:00

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 13:57

Thank you because I’m starting to feel like I’m speaking to a brick wall here

Show quote history

Yes they can. Men do get raped by woman. You are a brick wall yourself

Witchcraftandhokum · 20/03/2026 14:00

It's not though, and if it is for you, you need to have better men around you

confusedbydating · 20/03/2026 13:58

Laserwho · 20/03/2026 13:57

Woman can also be rapists.

Show quote history

I KNOW. But the facts say 99.9% of the time it’s a man. And I don’t alter my behaviour so women don’t rape me - and rightly nobody expects me to.
why is it so different with men?!