AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

As hard as this sounds OP, I don’t think you can ask him to come home in the circumstances

Get grandma to look after the kids now/early evening and go have a nap so that you are more prepared for the night wakings.

baby will likely settle down from the jabs.

it’s one night & like you say new job so I wouldn’t pressure him to come back. You have support there make sure you use it

I am mid 70s and do three full days of childcare. I know an eighty year old friend who looked after her four year old, very lively grandson for a week whilst the parents went on holiday. Grandma will cope fine.

Could you ask grandma to stay up until 11pm whilst you go to bed as soon as baby is asleep? Say 7/8pm and you ould get a few hours sleep..

I don’t think it’s a case of op simply not coping. She might have to be hospitalised in which case someone will need to look after the child.

Given the fact its one night I think you'll just have to suck it up and muddle through. You've got support. I know grandma is in her 70s but as a one off emergency situation I'm sure she can help if you really can't manage

You've started on antibiotics for the infection, so it's being treated.

No I wouldn’t
Its a new job
But also you have grandma there so you’re not alone. If your solely alone it’s different

Surely grandma can do something otherwise why was she invited? Can she take baby for a walk in pram whilst 4 year old watches tv and you semi rest on sofa?

Order a takeaway or get grandma to pop to shops for something convenient

Again I’m sure grandma will help with evening and early morning even if not overnight? Ask her to read 4 year old bedtime stories whilst you try and settle baby. And then go to bed yourself.
In the morning ask Grandma if she can take over giving eldest breakfast or just helping entertain baby 30 mins whilst you shower

Lean on Grandma who is there to help so presumably is capable of doing so! I would ask her to help a bit overnight (she takes a shift until midnight so you can go to bed early and get a decent chunk of sleep maybe??) before asking DH to come home when it’s a new job and he’s presumably on probation.

It's crap when you feel crap, I do sympathise. But you have help tonight. Take all the medication you need, get the earliest night. He'll be back tomorrow and tomorrow isn't that far away. If it was critical - such as an A&E situation - that would be one thing. But this isn't an emergency situation. You'll see him before too long. Just dose up, lean on mum and take things as easy as you can. As I say, I really do sympathise, I am living in antibiotics at the moment but have had to stop taking them for a test that is due to tomorrow. Feel like my head is going to fall off! Sending love.

It’s really tough but I’m afraid I also think you need to leave him to get on with it. It’s likely to be a hard night but you will manage. You have another adult in the house who, whilst not able to physically help much, can take charge of 4 yo if needs be while you focus on baby. Chances are antibiotics will sort the infection - and if they don’t you won’t know really till tomorrow and dh will be returning by that point anyway.

It’s a difficult one. I’ve been there and decided to stick it out but there’s a risk the antibiotics don’t kick in quickly enough leading to iv antibiotics for ocular cellulitis. I think I’d say he needs to have phone handy at all times in case he needs to come back to care for kids so you can get treated.

Its the ups and downs of illness and life. Why was gran (is she your gran or baby's gran) staying overnight if you didnt want her to help overnight?

Baby will calm down, she'll just be cranky for a bit and hopefully your drops will work

I'm sorry you aren't well. It will take a few days for the antibiotics to kick in and to start to feel better.

I'd ask nan to mind the kids now whilst you get a nap this afternoon. I'm sure between you, you can get through 1 night.

I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time OP. Would a compromise be to ask him leave as early as he can tomorrow and take a day’s leave, so you can rest?

I'm sorry OP. It's a new job and income is long term benefits. If he comes back they might mark his cards as unreliable.

It's shit and shouldn't be like that but it is. I think I'd muddle through. Calpol and nap when you can.

I think YABU.

It's one night. And it's work. And you've got Grandma to help you.

If it was longer or if he was on a jolly or if you were alone it would be different. But sucking it up for one night (with Grandma's help) so he can make a good impression at work is entirely reasonable.

It’s a new job - you need to find a way to cope.

give baby calpop and she will likely settle.

what would you do? Aibu to ask? Please be kind in responses, this is a bit of a shit situation and I feel physically very poorly.

Come on OP it isn't a shit situation, its life!

Honestly it is one night grandma could watch the baby whilst you napped is he coming back what did he say ?

Edited as I had misread.

Yes, I feel sorry for you OP, but I think this is a case of accepting it may be a tough night and just cracking on. But I would be asking for a nice lie-in when he gets back!

I'm sorry you're both unwell. This sounds really stressful. You would be unreasonable to ask your husband to come home from a work event in the first few weeks of a new job. You will just need to get through it as many of us do with young children. At least you have another adult there for support.