AIBU to ask DH to come back from London as baby and I are unwell?

I feel your pain. I was in a similar situation with only the jabs a few weeks ago. DH on a work night out/ away, baby had 8 weeks jabs and was inconsolable/ had a very high temp and I had 3 other dc to manage/ get to bed. I was very upset that DH was away/ thought he should come back but didn’t suggest it.

I think the difference here is your illness and the risk it gets worse. The jabs alone are a pain but manageable with grandma there. I hope you are ok, the night is not too bad and you are on the mend by the morning. Do whatever is needed to make the night/ tomorrow as easy as possible.

I’ve had eye infections like that, they feel horrible. If you have to go to hospital he will have to come back. But keep going now and muddle through as best you can. Calpol for baby, plus paracetamol for you too to help with the pain. Good luck and try to nap now if grandma can take the baby out for a walk now in the pram.

ETA periorbital cellulitis is serious stuff, it’s really nothing like conjunctivitis or a sore eye. Hope antibiotics start helping soon.

Go and have a nap now. Or ask your mum if she will either stay up a bit later so you can get a few hours til say midnight or she goes to bed nice and early and is happy to get up at say 6ish so you can have a few hours in the morning.

She can't be expected to get up in the night but I'm sure she can support you to get some rest in other ways.

Typical mumsnet... it's just an eye infection that the doctor has advised if antibios don't work will need to go to a and e... but of course typical mumsnetters are just thinking of a little conjunctivitis they've once had and they were FINE.

Awful but I’d try to get through the night. If you need to go to hospital in the morning he will have to come back. Hope the baby sleeps for you. Try to nap after toddler asleep

Surely grandma is here to help not just keep you company. 70 is not old. Why can't she helps at night, at least the early morning?

Its one night, i’d just struggle through (and did with my chronic illness).

Ybvu.

For one night I’d manage (but I’ve been a lone parent since my twins were babies and back to full time work when they were 20 weeks with no parents or anyone to help - not a race to the bottom just that when the chips are down you’ll surprise yourself how strong you are at getting through something like this - we mums are far far stronger than we give ourselves credit for) batten down the hatches break all your previous parenting rules and just try and get though it and then get him to take over at the weekend

Lots of hugs and sympathy OP. Also poorly over here with a poorly 6 month old who has been crying his little head off almost all day and for two hours solid over night last night. Thankfully the toddler was well enough for nursery today so DH went to work because I did think at 3am after rocking the crying baby for two hours that if the toddler wasn’t going to be well enough for nursery then DH would have to take the day off as I could not have coped with two of them on my own (no wider support) feeling the way I did right then!

I think as you have grandma to help and it’s just this once and you also don’t know yet how the baby will be you need to summon the strength to push through. It’s nearly the weekend. Let yourself be selfish once husband is home and take time out for yourself this weekend. Hand them off to him and make sure you take care of your health too. I’m sure DH is feeling awful already about not being there for you tonight, but he’s supporting your whole family by working so look at it that way. Things would be much worse for you all if he lost his job or fell out of favour with his bosses.

And if baby has a bad night tonight, know that I’m probably also up with my baby having a bad night, and all over the world there are other mums pacing back and forth feeding and rocking at that very moment. That thought usually helps me feel less alone in those difficult hours xxx

If grandma is anything like my mum who is in her 70s she would be more than capable to help out at night if I asked her.
Talk to her to work out the best way to manage the night, I am sure if you needed her she would be there and take the baby.

You'll be fine. Grandmother in 70s isn't old, if in good health. I guarantee you'll have worse nights than this at some point with kids. As a solo parent, you just have to learn to survive on your own so I know from experience that you can do it.

As a lot have said, you already have help so I am inclined to say, crack on with it.
It really is just life when you have children- Mums don’t get days off when poorly I’m afraid.
wishing you better

I think you've done the right thing with your update OP. If you did have to go to hospital Grandma would cope for a few hours while DH gets home. Hope you feel better soon.

Of course you were right to contact him and tell him you can deal with it. Honestly, you have two adults and one child - you don't need a third adult. You have a style - may be painful, in which case you may not sleep anyway. It is not like you appear to have to get up for work the next day, so the 70 year old (who I am sure can manage in the night) can certainly look after the baby if you really need to have a sleep during the day.

Oh that sounds so tough. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon, and the cranky baby gets a decent sleep tonight.

How far away is London? A few hours drive/train etc? My DH is currently 2 flights away, with a long overlay, but he's still in the UK! He is due home tomorrow, and my kids are school age, but he couldn't be home sooner if I needed him (not that I expect I would). It's reassuring if he can just jump in the car and be home soon-ish if things are no better by morning for you.

You’ll get through it. It would be over dramatic to get him back for this, especially in a new job

I don't think many employers would see his wife, who is being supported by another adult, having an eye infection as an emergency. It would be different if it comes to her having to go to A&E but it isn't at the point of an emergency yet.

I'm glad you've come to a sensible arrangement with your DH. Speaking as an almost 80 year-old, I'm sure Grandma can cope with the baby for at least some of the night to give you chance to rest and hopefully sleep. We oldies can be surprisingly tough in an emergency.

I do sympathise because I still remember how hard it was when my DH was regularly away for 10 days at a time at college when our two were 3 and 4 months. There were times I felt desperate because of tiredness or either one of them or me not being well, but we muddled through somehow.

Yes. You are an adult perfectly capable of looking after a baby whilst sick. It's one night and you have a second adult in the house.

I wouldn't ask so soon into a new job. I know it must seem really daunting being responsible for the care of a baby when really unwell but you will get through it. Just rest whenever you can and leave housework that can wait.

Id make sure he kept his phone on, as if you need.to get to the hospital he'd need to come back I think, but otherwise muddle through with grandma. Hope you feel better and the drops work!!

I would manage, you have someone coming tonight anyway to help you

its a new job and he needs to make an impression. what would you do if he had travelled abroad? It’s one night

YANBU to ask him to come back and he's NBU to not be able to. I feel for you but you'll need to muddle through! Will he facilitate your rest and recovery when he's back?

I know my DH would have come back already in this situation. You risk things getting worse. You need to properly heal as he may be home a lot longer.