Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset about partner leaving dried bloody bogies on carpet?

63 replies

satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 18:50

This is so gross, well I think it is. The carpet on OH's side of the bed is covered in bogies and dried blood from picking his nose and dropping it on the floor. Every time I go to his side to open the curtains I'm nearly sick. I've hoovered it up and told him to stop but it's there again piling up every few days. He has bought some tissues and now they're lying there with blood and bogies on too. It makes him so repulsive to me and I've told him. It's there again now and I'm really angry, he says I'm overreacting. Am I??

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 18/03/2026 01:06

satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 22:10

Thanks everyone. It's so horrible but sadly he has other awful habits too. I can't even bring myself to write the worst one but it involves his ass and the toilet seat 🤢.

No intimacy for a very long time. I couldn't bring myself to. He also spends about 5mins every morning hacking up phlegm, whether or not he has a cold. I'm often woken up by the sound of it and him spitting it out.

Are these habits good/bad enough, grounds for divorce? I've lost any desire I had for him years back and after repeatedly asking him to stop these things they still continue. As someone commented habits get worse as you get older, I'm afraid of that!

You can divorce someone for any reason you want.

I would say that if someone has completely killed off any attraction you ever had for him by wiping snot on the carpet for you to clean up, smearing shit on the toilet seat and waking you up by hacking up phlegm and spitting it out, you probably should have divorced him years ago. He clearly doesn’t really bring anything positive to your life.

Shitmonger · 18/03/2026 01:05

satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 22:10

Thanks everyone. It's so horrible but sadly he has other awful habits too. I can't even bring myself to write the worst one but it involves his ass and the toilet seat 🤢.

No intimacy for a very long time. I couldn't bring myself to. He also spends about 5mins every morning hacking up phlegm, whether or not he has a cold. I'm often woken up by the sound of it and him spitting it out.

Are these habits good/bad enough, grounds for divorce? I've lost any desire I had for him years back and after repeatedly asking him to stop these things they still continue. As someone commented habits get worse as you get older, I'm afraid of that!

Grounds for divorce?? Girl, this sounds like grounds for murder. 🤢

AIBU to be upset about partner leaving dried bloody bogies on carpet?
BreakingBroken · 18/03/2026 01:03

so he has absolutely disgusting habits which would make most people vomit,
and you support his vile habits allow his children to be subjected to this over "don't know how to cope financially" sorry op.
I find this acceptance of yours deplorable your bar "he doesn't do coke" is so absolutely low, honestly SHIT and SNOT is lower than drugs.
when your children begin to snort and spit, pick their nose and wipe buggers on the carpet or smear feces on the walls you will smile and say "the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree". what about them and their views on healthy intimate relationships?
i'm sorry but i honestly can't imagine any woman even the most desperate of women to tolerate this.
i hope you have family to assist you while you reorganize your finances.

INeedAnotherName · 18/03/2026 00:47

You can leave for any reason or for no reason at all. In England and Wales (where I hope you live) it is now a non fault divorce. But you state OH so are you married or not?

You will need to increase your working hours but go on entitledto to find out if you will qualify for any benefits. UC can help with a lot of rental costs depending on your area. Or just contact your Citizens Advice Bureau.

You do not have to put up with this.

BreadInCaptivity · 18/03/2026 00:40

LTB is short hand for Leave The Bastard.

In your case it should be LTFB (leave the filthy bastard).

If this isn’t his worst habit then god help you.

I can’t fathom what sort of person is so lacking in their own sense of basic hygiene that they are happy to tramp through and sleep next to a pile of their bacteria ridden nasal detritus on a daily basis never mind exposing their partner to the same fate.

HelloVoid · 18/03/2026 00:11

Cocaine use and having a good job/children aren’t mutually exclusive. I’d say it’s by far the most likely cause of blood in snot, otherwise he needs to see a doctor because bloody bogeys aren’t normal.

franklymydearscarlett · 17/03/2026 23:19

Utterly grim. I have caught my teen son doing similar and after my reaction he hasn’t done it again!

DoubleBoubles · 17/03/2026 23:15

Just when I think men can’t get any more disgusting, I read things like this
You need to leave him and start enjoying your life. Get a full time job and start earning more money to help you move out. It has to be preferable than living with this pig of a man
How can you bear to even look at him

Original poster
satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 22:53

ClaredeBear · 17/03/2026 22:25

How can you let him touch you? That’s the tip of the iceberg….Ive never actually said LTB before but how has it even got to this stage?

What is LTB? No he's not on cocaine. He's got a good job at a university and we have 2 children, age 14 and 11. I work part time and don't know how I'd cope financially if we separated. No he doesn't touch me, we have zero intimacy, the last thing was a hug 3 years ago when there was a death in the family. The last sex was well over a decade ago.

OP posts:
ClaredeBear · 17/03/2026 22:25

How can you let him touch you? That’s the tip of the iceberg….Ive never actually said LTB before but how has it even got to this stage?

HelloVoid · 17/03/2026 22:19

Does he use cocaine? I wouldn’t mind wagering he does if he has bloody bogeys.

RosesAndHellebores · 17/03/2026 22:15

@satsumafrog I am rarely lost for words. You deserve more, every woman does.

Pack him a bag and include some kleenex and bog roll.

Malinia · 17/03/2026 22:12

satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 22:10

Thanks everyone. It's so horrible but sadly he has other awful habits too. I can't even bring myself to write the worst one but it involves his ass and the toilet seat 🤢.

No intimacy for a very long time. I couldn't bring myself to. He also spends about 5mins every morning hacking up phlegm, whether or not he has a cold. I'm often woken up by the sound of it and him spitting it out.

Are these habits good/bad enough, grounds for divorce? I've lost any desire I had for him years back and after repeatedly asking him to stop these things they still continue. As someone commented habits get worse as you get older, I'm afraid of that!

You can divorce for any reason you wish.

Original poster
satsumafrog · 17/03/2026 22:10

Thanks everyone. It's so horrible but sadly he has other awful habits too. I can't even bring myself to write the worst one but it involves his ass and the toilet seat 🤢.

No intimacy for a very long time. I couldn't bring myself to. He also spends about 5mins every morning hacking up phlegm, whether or not he has a cold. I'm often woken up by the sound of it and him spitting it out.

Are these habits good/bad enough, grounds for divorce? I've lost any desire I had for him years back and after repeatedly asking him to stop these things they still continue. As someone commented habits get worse as you get older, I'm afraid of that!

OP posts:
WallyHilloughby · 17/03/2026 20:15

Wtaf! I would punch him

IloveJonBonJovi · 17/03/2026 20:14

Good grief that’s gross

StrawberrySquash · 17/03/2026 19:35

That's grim. He needs a bin by the bed and he needs to use it.

PolkaDotPorridge · 17/03/2026 19:31

How do you even look at him?! Ughhh! 🤮

NFPorterkeeponkeepingonNsoul · 17/03/2026 19:31

🤮🤮🤮my stomach flipped 360°

TittyGajillions · 17/03/2026 19:28

Eewww, urgh, vile with a huge side serving of grim 😬

imisscashmere · 17/03/2026 19:26

He has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever.

INeedAnotherName · 17/03/2026 19:24

DD used to do it to back of sofa and under the coffee table. Despite me repeatedly telling her off, then going onto sanctions suitable for a 4yr old, she only stopped after I made her clean it up by herself. She cried the whole time, called me mean for not helping but after the second time she stopped. Didn't even try hiding a sneaky one. Give him the cleaning stuff and tell him to clean up his own bodily fluids. And maybe start thinking hard whether you want to stay with him as men tend to get more disgusting and grumpier as they get older. Just go on to the Relationship board if you don't believe me.

WearyAuldWumman · 17/03/2026 19:21

stickydough · 17/03/2026 19:10

Why on every thread about a man behaving in a disgusting or disrespectful way, do we have someone wondering if it is dementia?!! I’m hoping/thinking you are joking as this really seems to be a strange MN phenomenon. Is it really so inexplicable that some many men are completely inconsiderate of others?

Show quote history

I'm not joking.

I doubt very much whether the partner does have dementia, but the only time that I've witnessed men behaving in an inappropriately unhygienic manner was when they'd developed vascular dementia or were suffering from delirium. (The latter is clearly not the case here.)

That's the only possible excuse. Otherwise, the more likely explanation is that the partner is just disgusting and the OP should break up with him forthwith.

4wardlooking · 17/03/2026 19:14

@satsumafrog I’m lost for words!

Endofyear · 17/03/2026 19:11

LTB!!