To feel I don’t actually like my own children very much

I adore children. Im one of those knobheads who’ll have the kids from the street all play in my garden at summer, Im usually the first in my family or friend group who has a baby’s first sleepover if their mum needs a sleep.
I have 4 children myself and would have had more if I’d have had money and space.
Let me tell you, every single child I’ve encountered, even the most angelic of little cherubs, some days make their caregiver want to launch them directly into the sun just for ten minutes peace.
Children are exhausting and draining, you’re constantly touched out from them, trying to stop them from doing something dangerous. You worry about every bloody thing they do, what they eat/have they slept/are they under or over stimulated? Being a parent is really hard and kids are beautiful, adorable little arseholes a lot of the time. You are in the trenches. Children aren't easy, mine certainly aren’t, they are the most lovable creatures but so irritating at times I lock myself in the toilet just for 2 minutes of not being asked questions etc, doesn’t mean anything, just means that they’re intense as hell and that I need to just get away for a minute. Sounds like you’re struggling with the intensity of them with their ages and thats normal. They’re at difficult ages, toddlers especially aren't the most reasonable and 5 year olds are a bit wild.
Make sure you get some time to decompress a bit. Even if you have to stick toddler in a playpen and 5 year old in front of the telly for 10 minutes. You can’t pour from empty cup and I doubt you have time to fill it properly, but little and occasionally getting away for a few minutes will help you.

I love this advice.

Try a daily 1/2 cup of fresh orange juice.

Respectfully, this sounds like a normal toddler to me 🤣 you’re not alone, my third boy is 2.

I have three boys aged 6, 4 and 3. Some days are easier than others. They definitely need boundaries and a routine each day they can follow. I’ve recently started using Chat Gpt to help me with a bedtime routine for all of them and the oldest being bullied at school. It’s helped me so much and I would highly recommend it to anyone struggling as you are. You can type in what is happening at the time and it will give you advice. You can be very specific as to the problem/s, just as you have been on this thread. Use it and let it help you navigate this difficult time. Motherhood is the best and hardest job ever! Keep your chin up!

They’re so small. A two year old toddler literally isn’t able to regulate big feelings. Your job is to help her, be there for her, and co-regulate, be her calm and safe place. They are wired to push boundaries as they’re developing as a human being and forming independence. This is normal.
I am sure they love you. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, it’s very tough going. (I have 3 children)
Are you having child-free breaks? Could you be depressed ? Do you’ve a nice GP you could speak to ? Re 5 year old soiling accidents have you looked at the charity Eric ? They’ve excellent evidence based information and support.
eric.org.uk/childrens-bowels/soiling/

You are definitely not alone. Mine are 2.5 and 4 and some days I’ve absolutely had enough and a ready to just walk out. My 4 year old is slightly more manageable but my 2.5 year old is wild. Every second of every day is battle. He tantrums, he hits, he runs away, he can climb out his buggy no matter how tight he’s strapped in. He is very sensory seeking the digging toes in and crashing around but socially is good, chats away, good eye contact says please and thank you so HV doesn’t think he’s neurodivergent but honestly I love him so much but he is a little shit and ruins days out and pushes me to the edge with his behaviour which btw isn’t terrible twos I feel like he left my womb like this !! It’s so hard when u see all these parenting rosy things on social media or “tips” that just don’t fucking work for ur child.

Haha this!!

Peppa Pig is vile and should have been turned into sausages long ago.

Kindly, you need to get a grip. They are tiny children and they absorb everything like sponges at this age. How are your children hostile and argumentative and talk to you like dirt? They are 2 and 5, they are helpless beings at this stage who are relying on a stable and calm environment. You seem to be projecting adult expectations upon them. What type of behaviour are they receiving or witnessing in your home?

Soiling is often constipation by the way. It could be worth a trip to the Gp.

It can be hard when they are small. Try to remember how tiny they are. They only want you and that’s hard but it is also very fleeting. You sound like you need a break or a bit more support.

What do you do when she does this?

Elaborate on how your two year old speaks to you „like dirt“ please.

Kids mimic what they see and hear. What kind of tone do you speak to them in?

Boys are much later to potty train @Myownones

Sounds more like he was engrossed in playing, it happens but sometimes they can get a bit lazy
Having regular loo calls worked for mine

Agree
Also the running at you @Myownones
No he absolutely needs to stop this if it hurts you.
Mine were not allowed to do this or climb on me etc
If he did that to a younger child he could seriously injure them
Reinforce boundaries, use consequences

That sounds really exhausting, and it’s brave of you to say it out loud because a lot of parents feel this way at times but are too ashamed to admit it. It doesn’t sound like you hate your children so much. A strong-willed five-year-old and a two-year-old going through a difficult phase would test anyone’s patience. Feeling like this doesn’t make you a bad parent, it usually means you’re burnt out and overwhelmed, not that you’ve failed.

Two isn't called 'the terrible twos' for nothing. Most children start to push boundaries at that age, so I don't think, your daughter is necessarily being unusual. My son was worse at 3, than 2.

Your son is certainly pushing boundaries at 5. Have you tried things like reward charts? Is there anything in particular that he likes or enjoys that you could take away for a punishment, if he's not doing as he's asked? How does your son behave at school?

Have you asked for any outside support? HV, school pastoral care? The little years are tough, but it does get better.

Is your 2 year old basically copying her brother after seeing that he gets attention when he's playing up? I'd definitely speak to your HV if you have a good one or your GP just to rule out anything first

I had 2 DDs who were fairly easy, they were polite, I could reason with them and they could play independently fairly well. I had friends who had high spirited children and I felt so sorry for them the constant noise, playing up in public , arguing. Then I had my son and I got my own hard work child. It is harder to like them because they push your buttons and are not pleasant to be around.
Being my third I knew it was less on my parenting and more about personality type. I’m just hoping it gets easier. Tbf my two easy going DDs gave me grief in their teens and they are lovely as adults.

You said if he was rude he wouldn’t get the tv but he already was rude and ignored you asking him to come in several times and yet he still got the tv on? It sounds like he knows the things you say don’t actually hold any weight.

Running around covered in poo is actually very abnormal behaviour for a 5 year old, not sure why so many are trying to suggest otherwise.

They are still so young. Remind them every time to say please/thank you and model it yourself. It will eventually sink in.
If the toddler speaks to you “like dirt”, remind her that is not the way we ask for things and only do it if she asks nicely.
Sending sympathy, it’s a slog at that age.