Someone hit my car nearly 2 weeks ago.

It really wasn’t a near death experience. I get it is upsetting and unsettling but your hyperbole isn’t helping you.

The same happened to me last September. A crash is always rattling, but I think you need to "get back on the horse" so to speak. Don't let the mistake of one idiot take away your independence. Can you take your hire car for a couple of left turn loops around your local area?

@NewPlumCat “something so tragic”??

You do realise how utterly insulting this is to those of us who have had very serious injuries and losses through RTAs?

Your posts are actually abhorrent.

Tragic? Your car had a dent in it. Nobody died?

Would getting compo for the effect it's had on you make things better?

I appreciate you don't like the people disagreeing with you, but when over 80% of people are telling you that YABU, then perhaps it is time to see it from the majority point of view?

No one is saying it's not traumatic being in a car crash, and you are entitled to feel shocked/upset, but what people are saying is that you are blowing this way out of proportion compared to the severity of the accident (it was minor) and it is rather insulting to those who have been in genuine serious accidents.

It was a minor shunt and you suffered whiplash, which can be painful, but you absolutely did NOT nearly die.

I had exactly the same accident years ago. I had physio, my car got fixed, his was a total write-off.

With the greatest of respect @NewPlumCat I think you are predisposed to reading posts in a negative way. Which is perfectly natural as a response to trauma.

But that doesn't mean that people are wrong.

You haven't been clear what you expected to gain from posting, but AIBU is a debate forum and people will have and share strong opinions. Which you invited by posting.

The vast majority have said as I have that you are responding to trauma and that you need to get help. That is not a criticism, it is a fact.

I too have been sat in stationary traffic when someone rear ended me at speed. I also had a 9 month child in the car with me. So I absolutely understand the trauma. That said you got off incredibly lightly. Muscular trauma will heal, you didnt break anything so actually the car did exactly what it was meant to do and absorbed the impact meaning you were not badly hurt physically.

But riling up against people suggesting you need to push through. Get back on the proverbial horse and carry on are not being unkind. They are being supportive. The absolute worst thing you can do is give up.

It was an accident, with the exception of utter psychopaths, no one gets in the car with the intention of ramming into the back of someone. I am.not saying the other driver wasnt at fault, from your description he absolutely was. But it was an accident.

You can chose to move on and rebuild your life or you can chose to curl up and cry in a corner.

What is your choice?

walk can add to it because the reason you are walking is because of the accident
so you will be think I’m only doing this because of the accident which brings it to the
Forefront it’s on your mind
I’ve been through similar and hand on heart I’ve never forgotten and when I’m sat at the lights I’m watching behind what’s happening
but you can get past it
it a fine line between being too soon and leaving it too long to get back to normal driving

What answers do you actually want from people here @NewPlumCat

People have been kind, offered very sound advice about getting therapy and trying to help you see this isn’t the end of the world but that’s not what you want to hear.

People telling you that what you went through was horrific and that you should hide under a rock for the rest of your life isn’t going to help.

You need to grab this situation by the horns and face it or else it will consume your whole life and you’ll waste precious time hiding away for no good reason.

Sounds awful OP. See if your insurance can claim for therapy , maybe EMDR. Hopefully in time you’ll be able to take short journeys and regain your driving confidence.

I think, and I promise I mean this in the kindest way possible, you do need some sort of therapy to get over this. I remember reading your thread at the time and thinking, well it’s a big shock and she’s overreacting in terms of saying it was near death etc etc but give it some time and she’ll get it into perspective. Clearly that’s not happened 7ish weeks down the line from the initial incident. That certainly isn’t to say that a car crash, of any magnitude really, isn’t scary or quite bound to make you feel anxious to get behind the wheel again but I think the dramatic language and turning it into something it wasn’t in your mind simply isn’t helping you at all and you may well need some support to get out of that negative spiral. You may never want to drive again, but living with such trauma and fear won’t be good for you at all and it may be unrealistic to think you’ll never get into a car again.

You need to be practical the insurance will sort the car
if you feel you need to claim compensation again as in your insurance company will guide you

you have been through a massive trauma and it’s COMPLETELY normal to feel like this and you will cope

you need to get out of the mind set of thinking you were nearly killed you weren’t
as with everything in life a lot of things can nearly happen

you will be anxious
you will be nervous
you will be frightened
you will be cautious

these are all normal reactions
don’t fight them expect them and you will cope

just get in the car for a drive no matter how small you need to build your confidence back

how many years have you driven without anything like this happening so there’s no reason to think another accident is immanent

Good luck and take care I know it’s easier said than done than done but you will get past its just very raw

I got hit by a car when I was a pedestrian. It wasn't good at the time but I didn't feel too traumatised. The driver was more upset than I was. It was only when my dad pointed out that I hadn't driven for a very long time and always opted for DH or my parents to drive that I realised how anxious the accident had made me. I did get back to driving after he said this (a couple of years after the accident) but I still don't like it. The main reason is that I know how easy it would be to hurt or kill someone in a car. Luckily I live in a city so I don't have to drive much.

I don’t need to see the damage to know it wasn’t a tragic, life threatening accident because you only had muscular injuries.

wanna swap with the injuries I got?

Objectively, nobody died and your injuries were relatively minor.

Why are you fueling your anxiety by exaggerating the incident and your feelings about it?

You are being your own worst enemy in this.

Don't you want to feel more relaxed and worry-free? Don't you want to put it behind you?

It must have been scary for you. However, if your head 'nearly touched the windscreen' then the car/taxi possibly wasn't going fast enough for your belt to lock up and the fact your car has been called a write off could just mean that the cost of repair outweighs its value. All of this is totally irrelevant though as you feel how you feel regardless of the details. You have two choices, get professional help to get you behind the wheel or give up driving and use buses. Many people manage perfectly well with no car, would this be possible? I hope you come through it OK.

You came back to the thread a month later to argue with someone and say you know you wouldn’t have over-reacted to something minor………..

You live in Defensive Central.

Has your car been written off?

People aren’t being overly sympathetic as you are blowing it out of all proportion, it’s not a tragic event or life threatening, you were rear ended, muscular injury.
There are ppl on here who have lost family in RTAs, suffered life changing injuries and here you are banging on and exaggerating.

I am so sorry this happened. It must have been an awful shock. I would recommend looking into EMDR therapy. It's particularly effective for trauma. Take care.