About mothers day getting weird with my brother

Your brother is clearly thriving under your care and he recognises that. Giving you a card and gift is a lovely gesture from him and you should be proud of yourself.
I would hope your mum appreciates it too and I think she is being quite childish. Hopefully this could be a turning point for her and her relationship with her son.

I mean a mum who’s told her child she would put them in care rather than keep them is bloody lucky to get a happy mothers day at all, so I can’t see both sides at all.That is a complete deal breaker for respecting your mum. Maybe there are mitigating factors but the teen cannot be expected to care, they are an abandoned child.

This is really good advice. Please take it.

I have to wonder if your mum's behaviour in general has more than a little to do with the breakdown in her relationship with her son.

What on earth are you on about

I think you message your mum ‘about what you said today mum, for fucks sake. You told <brother> you’d put him into care- theres no one on this planet who’d call that being a good mum and that’s his experience of you as a mum. You need to live with that and work to fix things with db not get mad at me just because it made you feel bad. I’m not going to listen to any more comments like today’s, I’ll leave.

can you? Did you feel like a good mum as you threatened to put your children into care??

Your mum needs to get over herself.

You need to acknowledge your bro’s efforts directly with him, thank him and tell him how proud you are of him.

I was also a teenager taken in by an older sibling, actually knew a couple of teenagers in similar situations at the time.
Your brother has shown you with actions because words aren't that forthcoming how much he appreciates you. You are stepping up in a mother role right now, he has shown you the gratitude you deserve.
If he's anything like myself and the others I knew in similar circumstances he will never stop being grateful.
Forget about your mum for now OP, focus on the positive kind actions of your brother and not the negative deflecting actions taking the shine away from what he did to celebrate you in his own way.

So you've to take all of the responsibility and work but none of the thanks, I can see why your brother was having issues living with her. Thank God you turned out sensible and are likely going to be the reason you and your brother have a decent shot at life. Your mother should be buying you gifts and thanking you, it's not your responsibility to fix her parenting woes and you've stepped right up and done it

What they all said, but also: it’s really stark that you’re so unsure of yourself here. Given your mother’s emotionally immature flounce and making herself the victim aka gaslighting, I can see why you’ve doubted yourself. She’s failed both of you.

I think you’ve done an entirely commendable thing and your brother is lucky to have you. Your mother, on the other hand, fucked around and found out.

I’m so pleased he acknowledged what you’ve been doing. I hope you realise that by getting him back into school regularly and with a good routine you’ve literally changed his life potential and outcomes. So glad you could do this for him where his own mother failed to. You deserve all the thanks. It shows his emotional maturity too

Please use your mug with pride & share your chocolates with your little brother.
It sounds like you have a healthy, strong relationship and he appreciates you.

Your mum is jealous (and possibly embarrassed). You don't need to minimise & squash down the hard work you & your brother are putting in to building his future, just make her feel better.

Is her being dramatic/cross & you apologising the usual routine?

You sound like a great person and your brother is very lucky to have you in his life. The fact that he made this gesture to you is very significant. You do not have to take on your mothers issues, they are hers alone and have nothing to do with you.

Neither you nor your brother has done anything wrong.

Your mum essentially threw him out, so it’s not surprising that he doesn’t feel especially well-disposed towards her. She hasn’t actually done anything for him as a mother for eight months. You have.

I think it’s very telling that his behaviour has improved so much since he’s moved in with you. It sounds to me that he really appreciates you and what you’ve done for him, and I suspect his behaviour at your mum’s house was bad partly because she wasn’t a particularly good or stable parent to him.

Don’t get me wrong, I can see why she’s upset. But she’s entirely unreasonable to be upset with you and she should also have foreseen that her son wouldn’t be terribly keen to make a fuss of her on Mother’s Day after she threw him out to live with you. She’s not unreasonable to feel sad, but she should have kept that to herself. And taking it out on you, when you’ve done so, so much for her and your brother by taking him in, is unforgivable. She sounds like a nightmare parent. You, by contrast, sound lovely.

So sweet of your brother, and good on you stepping up for him too. Your Mum probably feels guilty, I'm not sure why she would expect anything from him when she's given up caring for him.
Agree with the PP, let him know you were so surprised by the gift but you appreciate it so much - he is thanking you for your role and I think it's important to acknowledge it for him.

She's just upset it's mother's day and she's realised that her relationship with him has deteriorated. Youve done nothing wrong. She's just upset

Your mum sounds horrendous.

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I told him he didn’t need to do that and that mum is still his mum etc but he just shrugged and said he wanted to.

On this point
He is clearly signaling to you ... I would call this "a bid" (Google it). Your "you didnt need to" was a rejection of that bid. He is 15 and living with his sister - he is vulnerable and still a child even if he may not look like one.
He needs love reassurance and support and unfortunately both of his parents have dailed him horribly.

I would follow up with him tonight or tomorrow am and explain you were stunned and didnt know what to say (true) and you love him (also true) and it was an incredibly thoughful think to do and you are really touched (hopefully also true)

You sound like a great sister. Your mum is.... not a great mother.

Poor boy... Lucky he has you.

Your mother flouncing from a lunch would be a lot lower on my list than my brother...

Your brother has shown you he feels safe and secure with you. How nice that he chose to think about you in that way and wanted to show his appreciation. Don't let your mum drag that down. Be proud of what you've accomplished with him ♥️

If it was my son I was having issues with and he went to live with my daughter, I'd feel so damn proud of you both. I think your mum sounds emotionally immature tbh but she was probably just caught offguard... Don't let her reaction pee on your parade though, you earned his appreciation. He's shown maturity to recognise what you've done for him.

Your mum is being a total arsehole. Letting you parent her child is terrible for both you and your brother, and then doing this! What a breathtaking twattish thing to do. Well done you and your bro, you don’t deserve this.

You stepped up when he needed it the most and I think it’s lovely that he’s acknowledging that.

Anger is the emotion many people channel other, less comfortable emotions into: shame, guilt, sadness, fear. Whatever provoked your mum to flip out, is what she’s feeling underneath that anger. Sad but understandable. And also not your problem - this is her emotional baggage that she needs to face and process.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. You’ve done nothing wrong - you and your brother sound like cracking people. Enjoy the chocolates and the close, loving relationship you’re building with your little bro.

Edited a typo

Well done on doing the great job your Mum should be doing. Enjoy the unprompted thank you. I think it’s lovely. He maybe also wanted to feel like he was giving back. Your Mum was out of order.

You have done nothing wrong. Your brother is lucky to have you.

This is down to your mum and her own issues.

I’d guess all her guilt and worries just came to a head and unfortunately you got it all. I can see why she’d be upset but it’s lovely your brother did that and anything you get is deserved because you’ve done a really good thing

This!! Lucky, lucky brother to have you x

I think your mother is probably feeling guilty and blaming you.

Ultimately, you are the one doing the care currently and it's lovely that your brother appreciates it!