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To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

491 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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5
SandyHappy · 19/03/2026 18:46

yesterday morning, about 5 miles from where we live a 'bully type dog' got out of it's house (owner left the front door open apparently), within half an hour it had attacked one woman with a dog and severely injured the dog (broken ribs), and attacked a separate woman walking her dog, she was bitten and her dog was killed, happened during the school run.

These 'dogs' have no place in society, and I say that as a dog lover.

Ferrissia · 19/03/2026 17:24

Is your partner aware of the (potentially serious and lifelong) effects of maternal stress on babies? if not, you should educate him. If yes, or if education doesn't change his thinking, then, at the very least for the sake of your child, you need to leave.

He needs to take his family's safety more seriously, given the evidence-based threat that your current living situation poses to his family.

If he refuses, or is incapable of this, then you and he are fundamentally incompatible and you need to leave anyway - and best to do it before your baby is put in any further unnecessary danger (from your stress or directly from the dog(s)).

TheSecretAgent1 · 19/03/2026 17:06

Your partner is a moron

Pastit12 · 19/03/2026 16:34

ThePoshUns · 19/03/2026 15:57

Your partner is a nob. Can you move out and stay with your mother for a bit?
I would not risk mine or my baby’s safety by staying at that address a moment longer.
If your partner is prepared to take the risk then he can do one.

I haven’t read every single post on the thread but the this one seems a good idea , you’re pregnant and the situation is clearly causing you a lot of stress which can’t be good in your condition
As someone has previously pointed out if your next door neighbour is as awful as has been said chances are if this dog is removed from her she will most likely replace it with another high risk dog. This is without your other immediate neighbours all having large dogs which is causing you more stress
Your partner is also being very unfair not taking your concerns seriously and causing you more stress. You should take precedence over a dog regardless of his feelings about his german shepherd
If your parents can help you out in the interim then maybe you could reach your savings goal towards buying your own house obviously you would need to reassess the situation when you have the baby due to your parents dog as has been said before if a dog is unpredictable whatever breed or size best to be on the safe side for the sake of your future child,

Allisnotlost1 · 19/03/2026 16:33

Sorry to hear this @TheLangyers . Things are not going to get easier so you’re going to have to bite the bullet and get out of there. Your partner sounds idiotic, even if he doesn’t agree with you to not take your worries seriously at this time is awful. Back to your ma’s and see how the land lies I reckon.

Imisscoffee2021 · 19/03/2026 16:26

@TheLangyers you need to move I'm afraid, you can't get time back with your fast growing child in those early years but you can earn more money down the line. You honestly do not want to spend maternity leave stressed by outside factors. It may set you back 6 to 12 months in buying a house, but you could use this opportunity to identify where you want to buy and rent in that area, so when you do buy you're already in the community, already got name down for nursery or school etc. A change of house is less stressful than a whole change of environment, and by renting you'll be able to choose your area more.

I know it's shit saving for a house with a baby on the way, i had the same thing but I was renting in a nice part London/Surrey so had to make big decisions based on eventually buying a house. So I speak from experience when I say all of the above! Figure out how much extra it's cost you to rent somewhere you want to live, and how long it'd take to accrue it again, and when you think of how fast those early days go by it'll be worth it.

BrickBiscuit · 19/03/2026 16:18

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:54

We technically do have enough for a 10% deposit and about £4000 for solicitor fees etc. But we had ideally wanted a 20% deposit and DP was going to use the £4000 to replace our 15 year old car so that we have something more reliable when the baby is here. We just wanted to be more comfortable when buying and getting the mortgage.

I’ve told DP I’m scared and want to look at buying again but he’s told me I’m being ridiculous and to get over the dog situation since I haven’t actually been attacked

Edited

since I haven’t actually been attacked

You have been assaulted by one of these dogs. You already said it jumped up on you and the owner eventually called it off.

LoudMauveFatball · 19/03/2026 16:14

Just another note that at 14 weeks pregnant you're certainly safer living around your parent's cockapoo (even if he was an aggressive little demon) for quite a while longer.

LoudMauveFatball · 19/03/2026 16:11

I live in the USA where pits and pit-adjacent dogs are quite common. I've known dozens of people with these dogs and only exactly two that never had a problem or incident of aggression. And frankly, those two could have been lying. I've seen a neighbor's pit bite a delivery guy's hand and the next week the owner was bragging to me about how he'd never hurt a fly. My parents are rural, one of their neighbors has two that haven't hurt a person (yet) but of course are allowed to roam around and last year they ripped a new lamb (and her mom!) through the chain link fence of her pen, piece by piece. Sorry to be graphic but these are nasty beasts and you are completely reasonable to be afraid of this one. Your husband is being a moron and you should just keep spamming him with videos of pit attacks and articles of them mauling children, elderly and even full grown adults. You can find an endless supply of these, as you know.

cheframsay · 19/03/2026 16:09

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:54

We technically do have enough for a 10% deposit and about £4000 for solicitor fees etc. But we had ideally wanted a 20% deposit and DP was going to use the £4000 to replace our 15 year old car so that we have something more reliable when the baby is here. We just wanted to be more comfortable when buying and getting the mortgage.

I’ve told DP I’m scared and want to look at buying again but he’s told me I’m being ridiculous and to get over the dog situation since I haven’t actually been attacked

Edited

I get you, me and DH put down a larger deposit too as we’re both self employed we just wanted the lower mortgage to take the pressure off.

Ok, the good news - imagine if you literally didn’t have a penny. Once you’ve saved up it does feel worse the idea of splashing out on more rent though, I get that. But I’m glad to hear you do have a good amount saved as it is, that could be worse.

The car isn’t a priority here, I’d imagine you feel the same. Obviously the XL bullies and stupid owners are the problem but I feel after that, your big problem is DP. I’m frustrated for you that he doesn’t get it, it sounds if you were on the same page you could buy a lot sooner.

He really needs to understand the risk, or even if he doesn’t understand it, compromise and put how you feel about this first. But I don’t know how you get him to do that tbh, it’s one thing that he is being stupid and naive but another thing that he doesn’t consider your feelings about this. If I were you I would go and stay at your mums though, just for your safety and to hopefully de stress and try and shake some of this nasty anxiety and fear, you must be constantly on edge staying there. Maybe this would make him see you are serious about needing to rent somewhere better, or buy ASAP.

MajorProcrastination · 19/03/2026 16:09

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:54

We technically do have enough for a 10% deposit and about £4000 for solicitor fees etc. But we had ideally wanted a 20% deposit and DP was going to use the £4000 to replace our 15 year old car so that we have something more reliable when the baby is here. We just wanted to be more comfortable when buying and getting the mortgage.

I’ve told DP I’m scared and want to look at buying again but he’s told me I’m being ridiculous and to get over the dog situation since I haven’t actually been attacked

Edited

Keep the old car. You don't need a new car for a baby. It's a nice to have not an essential. I say this as someone who had small older cars when our children were babies and everyone was fine. As long as you can fit the buggy in the back, you're fine.

Yes, it would be nice to be more comfortable financially before making the move but it'll be so much harder once the baby's here and I'd prefer financial discomfort over terror about massive dogs.

I wouldn't want to wait for anyone to be attacked before doing anything, REPORT!

ThePoshUns · 19/03/2026 15:57

Your partner is a nob. Can you move out and stay with your mother for a bit?
I would not risk mine or my baby’s safety by staying at that address a moment longer.
If your partner is prepared to take the risk then he can do one.

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:54

cheframsay · 19/03/2026 15:18

You need to move, I’m so sorry you are surrounded by all this shite and don’t feel safe in your own house or garden. It’s not fair but you can’t stay there.

I know it’s important to save for a house and own a place of your own but is it really worth your mental health, yours and babies safety etc to risk staying here? I do feel for you, it’s so frustrating when you want to save but I just don’t see how you can stay there now, this should be an exciting time with baby on the way, not a time where you’re full of fear and anxiety.

What actually are your options? Can you get anything better and still put a little bit of money away? Can anyone act as a guarantor on a mortgage for you? I’m not sure your mums financial situation, but given she sees the risk, is she able to help you with a deposit? Or any grandparents, or anyone else who may be happy and able to help you?

It really is shit, you shouldn’t have to move but I just feel for you so much as this would be my worst nightmare.

We technically do have enough for a 10% deposit and about £4000 for solicitor fees etc. But we had ideally wanted a 20% deposit and DP was going to use the £4000 to replace our 15 year old car so that we have something more reliable when the baby is here. We just wanted to be more comfortable when buying and getting the mortgage.

I’ve told DP I’m scared and want to look at buying again but he’s told me I’m being ridiculous and to get over the dog situation since I haven’t actually been attacked

OP posts:
MajorProcrastination · 19/03/2026 15:51

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:01

Things have gotten worse for me today, I’m really getting incredibly stressed now.

The XL bully I spoke about in this post lives on our right. With it being sunny today I was sat in my garden and my neighbours on each side both had the same idea. There was a lot of very loud, aggressive barking from dogs coming from 3 different directions so I went inside as it was driving me insane.

I had a look out of my window and can see that my neighbour’s on the left also have a pitbull type dog. We had heard their dog barking before but had never seen it as they are antisocial and don’t go out, this is the first time I’ve seen their dog. It doesn’t appear to be XL but a regular American pitbull type.

We also have another XL bully in the garden behind us. I’ve known about this previously but haven’t seen it over the Winter and had hoped they’d gotten rid of it but clearly not. All 3 dogs were barking aggressively and pawing at their respective fences trying to get to each other. My garden is what separates the 3, all 3 of those gardens are joined up to my garden. We have tall fences but not particularly strong and it’s worrying when they are all pawing at the fence.

I could fucking cry. My partner still isn’t taking me seriously.

Now I can’t even enjoy my own garden with my baby

Edited

This is insane and so incredibly unfair. "But I love dogs" then get a friendly mini-schnauzer or a dopey labrador. These big muscly dogs are purely for the owner's status and tough image. There's no reason on a domestic housing estate to own that kind of dog.

Completely understand why you hate it and why it's making you feel trapped and anxious. Did you say this was a council house or housing association home and that moving would mean shifting into private rentals and costing you more money? Short term, that's maybe what you'll have to do but I'm so cross that you're in this situation.

Definitely contact the council housing team and/or the housing association because this is completely out of order. You shouldn't be made to feel scared in your own back garden or community. I'd also contact the police via 101 or through your local police station to report the one who's out without muzzle and lead as that's illegal.

Even if you are going to move or maybe even move in short term with a family member, I'd still report to whoever needs to be told to help protect the future community in your current street.

Jasmin71 · 19/03/2026 15:48

I would genuinely be out of that house and have returned to my parent's house by now. I just couldn't live next to a dog like that. Your partner is clearly an idiot in not appreciating the Danger.

Jasmin71 · 19/03/2026 15:39

Report

FadingSpendour · 19/03/2026 15:19

Your update makes your decision easier, I guess. You need to move.

cheframsay · 19/03/2026 15:18

You need to move, I’m so sorry you are surrounded by all this shite and don’t feel safe in your own house or garden. It’s not fair but you can’t stay there.

I know it’s important to save for a house and own a place of your own but is it really worth your mental health, yours and babies safety etc to risk staying here? I do feel for you, it’s so frustrating when you want to save but I just don’t see how you can stay there now, this should be an exciting time with baby on the way, not a time where you’re full of fear and anxiety.

What actually are your options? Can you get anything better and still put a little bit of money away? Can anyone act as a guarantor on a mortgage for you? I’m not sure your mums financial situation, but given she sees the risk, is she able to help you with a deposit? Or any grandparents, or anyone else who may be happy and able to help you?

It really is shit, you shouldn’t have to move but I just feel for you so much as this would be my worst nightmare.

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:01

Things have gotten worse for me today, I’m really getting incredibly stressed now.

The XL bully I spoke about in this post lives on our right. With it being sunny today I was sat in my garden and my neighbours on each side both had the same idea. There was a lot of very loud, aggressive barking from dogs coming from 3 different directions so I went inside as it was driving me insane.

I had a look out of my window and can see that my neighbour’s on the left also have a pitbull type dog. We had heard their dog barking before but had never seen it as they are antisocial and don’t go out, this is the first time I’ve seen their dog. It doesn’t appear to be XL but a regular American pitbull type.

We also have another XL bully in the garden behind us. I’ve known about this previously but haven’t seen it over the Winter and had hoped they’d gotten rid of it but clearly not. All 3 dogs were barking aggressively and pawing at their respective fences trying to get to each other. My garden is what separates the 3, all 3 of those gardens are joined up to my garden. We have tall fences but not particularly strong and it’s worrying when they are all pawing at the fence.

I could fucking cry. My partner still isn’t taking me seriously.

Now I can’t even enjoy my own garden with my baby

OP posts:
MajorProcrastination · 18/03/2026 13:01

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 17:19

Just seen them again walking to the neighbour’s house with dog unleashed and unmuzzled. I WFH and can see and hear them out of the window from my office, I’m not obsessively stalking I promise! At one point she turned back to get something from the house and the dog was just roaming around the close. Beggars belief

Edited

Take a photo, keep a record, report report report!

Dinnerplan · 18/03/2026 07:33

PixieTales · 17/03/2026 00:24

I agree with a lot of the posts that any dog can attack given the right circumstances. But for me it comes down to the size of the dog not necessarily the bread.

The damage that a larger dog can do is so much greater than a smaller or medium sized dog. That goes for Collies, German Shepherds, Great Danes, Labradors etc an attack from any of those could be fatal.

But yes OP report and/or move ASAP.

The major difference is what each dog was bred to do. Retrievers are good at retrieving and do it naturally. Collies are herders and again do it naturally. Pitbulls were bred to fight and have the capability so when triggered whether deliberately or accidentally… tend to fight.

You can see it at dog parks. If labradors or similar do get in a fight the damage may be a torn ear. If a pitbull or other bull breed attacks or gets in a fight the other dog is likely to be severely injured or killed and it is difficult to stop.

GoneBackToTheWorld · 18/03/2026 02:52

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cheframsay · 17/03/2026 23:40

SurferRona · 17/03/2026 21:25

Not quite, she’s scared because a XL bully jumped on her, and it will therefore definitely kill her as a result. Because that’s what this breed always does. Because whipped up scare stories in the Daily Heil tell us all so. She wouldn’t have reacted the same way if a say, deerhound did the same- or rather, a lot of people would have a different emotional response to those different breeds.

And if I didnt appreciate that distinction I wouldn’t have expounded that point, would I? Your last sentence is idiotic at worst, tautologous at best. Irrelevant definitely!

I’d much rather a deerhound jump on me rather than an XL bully. Easy choice.

There is a big difference in all of the dogs being gone now vs in 10 years. How many more people will be mauled, disfigured or killed before they die out? How many more normal people pets will be killed in that time? Unfortunately we have to wait, but it would be much better and safer if they were all destroyed now.

TheRuffleandthePearl · 17/03/2026 23:36

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:49

Yes I do want the dog to be destroyed given it bites its owners 4 year old autistic grandson. She doesn’t tell anyone about this. The walls are thin and I’ve heard the child screaming in pain and her scolding the dog afterwards, and then seen them walking out of the house to go to A&E with the child bleeding.

Edited

Has nothing been done by social services to follow up the a&e report - or do you assume she lies about the injuries?

TheRuffleandthePearl · 17/03/2026 23:22

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:32

My partner loves the dog. It’s often left supervised in the front garden and when we go out partner will get excited and call it over to say hello and stroke it. That’s probably why it was so comfortable jumping on me today

Your partner sounds like a fucking idiot. Has he seen the reports of the deaths from these dogs? Does he know about the genetic trait to kill?