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To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

491 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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5
Boomer55 · 20/03/2026 15:47

jumpingfences · 15/03/2026 20:36

This is why all these dogs should have been destroyed.

Realistically though, if you keep out of its way there’s no reason to think it will turn on you. Bolster you fence so it can’t jump in your garden. You know the times she takes it for walks so avoid going out at those times if you are worried.

Or move.

Are you in social housing? Could you put in for a transfer?

Given the aggressive interactions you describe, I’m surprised it hadn’t killed someone or some dog already. These dogs are not known for giving warning nips. I suppose that is a small indicator that it might not have as much of a killer instinct as some of these dogs.

These type of dogs are a pain in the neck. They should have all been destroyed. But, they haven’t been, so I’d just protect your home and hopefully move. You can try reporting first though.

TheABC · 20/03/2026 15:42

Move. Buy if you can, rent if not. Report the dogs on the last day you are there.
Jettison your partner if he continues to refuse to take this seriously.

Notaboutthebass · 20/03/2026 15:08

@TheLangyers Oh my god, you need to get out of there. There's no way I could bring up a baby in that situation.

aquitodavia · 20/03/2026 11:59

Yeah he's being an absolute idiot. It hasn't attacked you yet??? A) it jumped on you, and even that is a serious danger to your baby if you were say knocked over and B) any more serious an attack would likely leave life changing injuries or worse. Why on earth would you wait for that??

I completely agree with your ultimatum OP.

throwawayimplantchat · 20/03/2026 11:13

He’s not on your side OP. You’re at the most vulnerable time of a woman’s life and your reaction to the dog(s) is entirely appropriate for someone preparing to become a parent pretty imminently - you’re prioritising your baby’s wellbeing.

Your partner isn’t. He’s being selfish, foolish and mocking you for already being a good parent while he’s being a childish, naive fool at best and a people pleasing bully at worst.

I think you need to look for a new place to live asap and I’m not sure I’d want him to be joining me tbh. I wouldn’t trust him to make decisions that keep me or my baby safe.

TheLangyers · 20/03/2026 08:57

IsthataNo · 20/03/2026 07:48

Don't let your partner know either just do it secretly.
He's a leaky cup and the weak link in your chain ,he's not on your side you don't need to share this info with him !
I wouldn't be suprised if he chatted to her whilst petting it eg. " I love this old softy I've got no idea why her indoors reported him ".

I can see him saying this to her, too.

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 20/03/2026 07:50

It seems like your partner rather likes the council estate lifestyle. Leave him and it behind.

IsthataNo · 20/03/2026 07:48

Don't let your partner know either just do it secretly.
He's a leaky cup and the weak link in your chain ,he's not on your side you don't need to share this info with him !
I wouldn't be suprised if he chatted to her whilst petting it eg. " I love this old softy I've got no idea why her indoors reported him ".

IsthataNo · 20/03/2026 07:47

Op maybe now is the time to report the dog S ? Your partner is good cover in this regard ??

Report all three of them anonymously now .

I woukdnt bother discussing this with your partner because he doesn't understand or get it .
You do not want you neighbor to hear any conversations about this !!

It's not worth it.

Report...see what happens...then just move and leave him .

As pp said ,owning one could be used as an adult intelligence test.

NeelyOHara · 20/03/2026 05:52

Your husband appears to be enjoying goading you, how upsetting.

TheRuffleandthePearl · 20/03/2026 00:05

IHeardItThroughTheJeremyVine · 19/03/2026 19:51

Sorry OP but your partner is a gaslighting arsehole.

Yup.

TheRuffleandthePearl · 19/03/2026 23:57

GenieGenealogy · 17/03/2026 21:25

But do you not understand the effect of the ban is effectively the same as a ‘kill them all’ action? No more will be born, they cannot be imported. The breed will not exist in this country in ten years or so.

also assuming that the knuckle draggers who think this sort of animal is a lovely family pet will comply with the law.

And how many innocent people will die in attacks until the breed dies out in ten years? 20? 50? More?

Each life lost an unnecessary tragedy.

TheRuffleandthePearl · 19/03/2026 23:43

ByZingyMauveReader · 16/03/2026 13:05

Awful trigger happy advice. You do not just euthanise a dog because of an irresponsible owner. Rehome if necessary but the animal should not be condemned to death - fine and prosecute the owner but don't take it out on the dog. That isn't solving anything and is a typical 'human' response.

Rehoming XL’s is now illegal under the Act. Because of the risk they pose ….. funny that Hmm

TheRuffleandthePearl · 19/03/2026 23:35

ByZingyMauveReader · 16/03/2026 12:01

Yes you are being harsh. They are not 'things' nor are the majority dangerous. It is always down to how they are raised/trained by a person.

However I doubt very much this lady wants the dog euthanised - I would sincerely hope not - but having read her latest post I do agree action needs to be taken to get the owner to be more responsible. It is illegal for ANY dog to be roaming free, which is why they are licenced. From the tiniest chihuahua to a dog this size.

It is NOT just down to the owner - these are BRED to be fighting dogs. Killer Kimbo and his descendants all show similar traits.

dentalflosser · 19/03/2026 22:44

Near where I live there is an XL Bully. I’ve seen it out with its weedy looking male owners. It is never muzzled and it is aggressive as it was lunging and snarling when I was walking on a wide footpath.
The owners clearly have the dog as a status symbol and they have no control over it and don’t pick up its dog shit either.
Recently they had the dog on a very long lead and predictably they were trying to haul the dog back from where we were walking quietly and we always give the XL plenty of space.
It was like watching two twats trying to land a great white shark using a feeble fishing rod as the more they tried to reel the dog in, the angrier it got. If they had let go it would have shredded my dog.
I actually feel sorry for this XL Bully, sooner or later it will be seen out unmuzzled by a PCSO and could risk being PTS. It gets a short walk daily and needs more exercise and stimulation. Given how it reacts, there’s a good chance it will attack another dog or hurt someone and the dog will get the blame, not as much the shitty owners. It could easily kill a person as it is enormous.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 21:54

Do you have access to the house savings? You need to take your share, and leave. This stress will start to harm your baby, so please take what money you'd put into the savings to stop him buying a fucking car with it and go move in with your mum for now.

You would be foolish to stay with this man. He does not respect you or support you. He also wants to use your house savings to buy a car, the man's a moron. Please don't stay with him. Leave and go where you will feel safe, before your entire pregnancy is completely spoiled.

cheframsay · 19/03/2026 21:16

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 20:41

I may as well be living in a house in the middle of the lion enclosure at the fucking zoo!!!

I’d rather lions! At least they’re not butt ugly 🤷‍♀️

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 20:41

I may as well be living in a house in the middle of the lion enclosure at the fucking zoo!!!

OP posts:
Mumandcarer80 · 19/03/2026 20:37

I would be getting the hell out of there ASAP.

cheframsay · 19/03/2026 20:37

The more I hear about your partner the more annoyed I am for you. Do you think he’s spending a lot of time petting it now to wind you up or try and make a point?

Glad to hear you’ll be giving the ultimatum. Tbh I think you should go to your parents anyway, and he stays with the XL bullies until you have a plan in place to rent somewhere else or to buy somewhere. I just don’t think it’s good for you spending anymore time there at all.

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 20:33

ThePoshUns · 19/03/2026 20:14

In the small county where I live in South Wales there have been a baby, a 9 year old boy and an elderly lady killed by XL bullies and many more seriously injured. In my mind keeping these dogs and walking around with them is as dangerous as brandishing a loaded gun. Just imagine if you’re getting out of the car with your baby and your neighbours dog is in the vicinity and your crying baby triggers it….
I am scared for you OP

I really am quite terrified for the baby’s safety which is the top priority and I’ll be taking action if DP doesn’t listen to me. I’ll be a nervous wreck post-partum if still in this situation so I need to act now. We’ve actually got 3 American pitbull dogs (2 XL’s 1 regular) in the 3 respective gardens that adjoin ours. Absolutely shit luck, what are the chances?

On a more selfish note I feel like its
going to ruin the maternity leave I wanted with my baby. Due in September and I was looking forward to having an older baby over the Summer months and getting outdoors with them. We have a lovely beach a 20 minute walk away. I was going to treat myself to a fancy pram with all the trimmings for all of our adventures. And then I was thinking picnics in our garden, getting a sandpit, outdoor play etc. But now I’ll be scared to use our garden or go on any walks.

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 20:19

IHeardItThroughTheJeremyVine · 19/03/2026 19:51

Sorry OP but your partner is a gaslighting arsehole.

I’m getting to the end of my tether with it. He spent 15 minutes outside on the front petting it (it was unsupervised in the front garden as usual) after coming home from work today before coming inside. No wonder it’s so comfortable charging into our front garden and jumping on us.

I’m giving him an ultimatum shortly that he stops engaging with it and we look to move or I’ll be going to my mums. And before anybody starts about their cockerpoo, it has bitten twice in its life when in adolescence and it bites in one very specific situation - he has a comfort blanket on his bed which he suckles on and if you try to remove it from him whilst he’s suckling on it he will resource guard, give a couple of warning growls and eventually nip at your hand if you persist. It’s just that very specific situation in which he has bitten and he’s been fine for 3 years as we know the trigger and just avoid bothering him when he’s on his bed. He’s muzzled with a soft muzzle on walks as he can sometimes take other dog’s toys and my parents want to be safe. Anyway, my point is that he doesn’t just randomly snap and go for people and I don’t feel unsafe from him. I still wouldn’t let the baby close to him of course! But not comparable to the XL at all. XL’s tend to be triggered by noises or certain movements, and will switch into “mauling” mode with no prior warning. It’s not a trait that you can manage by using awareness and caution.

My parents lives an hour away from us so not ideal for my work but luckily I’ve got a reasonable accommodation to WFH at my own discretion during the pregnancy.

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 19/03/2026 20:14

In the small county where I live in South Wales there have been a baby, a 9 year old boy and an elderly lady killed by XL bullies and many more seriously injured. In my mind keeping these dogs and walking around with them is as dangerous as brandishing a loaded gun. Just imagine if you’re getting out of the car with your baby and your neighbours dog is in the vicinity and your crying baby triggers it….
I am scared for you OP

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 20:09

SandyHappy · 19/03/2026 18:46

yesterday morning, about 5 miles from where we live a 'bully type dog' got out of it's house (owner left the front door open apparently), within half an hour it had attacked one woman with a dog and severely injured the dog (broken ribs), and attacked a separate woman walking her dog, she was bitten and her dog was killed, happened during the school run.

These 'dogs' have no place in society, and I say that as a dog lover.

I know any dog can be problematic, even the cute little fluffy posh ones, but nothing is comparable to an XL bully.

Beyond the danger, they look fecking hideous.

I assume anybody who owns one is a prick, and I’ve never met one example to prove otherwise. Usually thick as pig shit too. My neighbour loves to talk about how hers gets scared of the telly to make him seem cute and harmless, but I’m thinking “I hope him getting scared of the telly doesn’t trigger him to maul your grandson”. Surely getting skittish at everything should be a red flag and a warning towards a potentially neurotic and unpredictable personality, and not just a “cute quirk”?

OP posts:
IHeardItThroughTheJeremyVine · 19/03/2026 19:51

Sorry OP but your partner is a gaslighting arsehole.