Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

491 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 21:01

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:59

Living on a council estate doesn’t necessarily mean living in a council house, it hasn’t meant this since Thatcher’s era. We pay £550 a month, I believe the council tenants pay £400ish.

We chose to rent here as it’s cheap due to being awfully rough and it was the only to way to save for a house deposit.

now I’m pregnant I’m seeing it very differently though. Maybe my mum is right

Edited

Fair enough. Where I live it does mean that, all the council estates are now private and the social housing estates are all social housing only.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:00

@TheLangyers of it's in the front garden a lot wait till it is in a few weeks end then maybe get your mum or a friend to call and say a dog that looks very mjuch like a bully is in a front garden and give the address.
However as a pp said until it attacks and kills it looks like the police may ignore.
I'm with your mum .
Move.

ImFinePMSL · 15/03/2026 21:00

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:15

This is what is worrying me. If I knew the dog would definitely be destroyed if I reported then I’d do it. But I’m worried she’ll just get a warning and then be gunning for me, then I’d be even more in danger. I’m scared of a situation where she’s screaming at me outside and the dog picks up on the tension and goes for me

Edited

It’s very unlikely the dog will be destroyed, unless it seriously injures or kills someone.

If the woman ever does decide to scream at you then you need to phone the police.

Personally, I couldn’t live like this and I would have to move.

WeatherDependant · 15/03/2026 21:00

Actually, move and then report.

fatphalange · 15/03/2026 20:59

You’d be irresponsible not to report it asap

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:59

Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 20:58

I’m a bit confused that the OP can live in a council house for a couple of years while saving for a deposit. The people I know who are in social housing have either been there for a long time or waited for years and years. It sounds grim but on the other hand what a bonus to be in cheap accommodation and saving money.

ETA I see OP has updated that it’s a private rent. In that case @TheLangyers I’d cut your losses and move. Consider leaving your partner there though, he sounds like he’s quite at home.

Edited

Living on a council estate doesn’t necessarily mean living in a council house, it hasn’t meant this since Thatcher’s era. We pay £550 a month, I believe the council tenants pay £400ish.

We chose to rent here as it’s cheap due to being awfully rough and it was the only to way to save for a house deposit.

now I’m pregnant I’m seeing it very differently though. Maybe my mum is right

OP posts:
WeatherDependant · 15/03/2026 20:58

Move. Unlikely the police will do anything , and if they did she could easily get another. You’ll never feel settled or safe.

Allisnotlost1 · 15/03/2026 20:58

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 20:55

You move. There's a reason we don't all live in £500 council houses and it's because we don't want to live next door to people like that. The 'few years' will be some of the most formative of your child's life. Might want to re-think your partner's attitude to safety too.

And if course, also report. Other people's children are at risk too.

I’m a bit confused that the OP can live in a council house for a couple of years while saving for a deposit. The people I know who are in social housing have either been there for a long time or waited for years and years. It sounds grim but on the other hand what a bonus to be in cheap accommodation and saving money.

ETA I see OP has updated that it’s a private rent. In that case @TheLangyers I’d cut your losses and move. Consider leaving your partner there though, he sounds like he’s quite at home.

pippapipps · 15/03/2026 20:58

Tbh I think you should move if you’re worried now how will you feel when the baby comes.. I understand your saving money for a deposit but can you honestly say you can stay where you are for a few more years ..no I’d be moving ASAP

Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 15/03/2026 20:57

Pit bulls have been a banned breed in the UK for many years.
Report her breaking the law buy no secure garden or muzzle. Why wouldn't you? She intimidates you them report that. Police and council have powers to evict such people and destroy their ddogs.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:57

I private rent. It’s cheap because it’s a rough area.

OP posts:
VeterinaryCareAssistant · 15/03/2026 20:57

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:44

You know bloody damn well and don’t pretend you don’t. If you don’t know then you’ve clearly never lived on one. The close proximity of houses, the prevalence of some rough families who’ve lived there for generations being intimating towards newcomers etc can make for quite an unpleasant environment. I’ve grown up in council housing and am well allowed my opinion

Edited

I live in a council estate and very rarely see any XL bullies. I occasionally see one being walked by a dog walker but that's about it.

Obviously there are some wronguns but overall I feel our estate looks out for each other. People will share with others and would give you the shirt off their back.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 20:56

@TheLangyers I've just read the updates about being casual and fake smiles ..perfect wait a few weeks and don't even tell your stupid partner and report it.

Icecreamisthebest · 15/03/2026 20:55

Yes report.

Also I would read your partner the riot act about his attitude towards this dog. I would expect him to support you by never going up to the dog again.

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 20:55

You move. There's a reason we don't all live in £500 council houses and it's because we don't want to live next door to people like that. The 'few years' will be some of the most formative of your child's life. Might want to re-think your partner's attitude to safety too.

And if course, also report. Other people's children are at risk too.

Climbingrosexx · 15/03/2026 20:55

As people have said report in a few weeks but definitely report. If people must keep these dogs then there are laws surrounding their ownership and she seems to be breaking every one. I don't understand why your partner is not backing you on this one.

Goldeh · 15/03/2026 20:54

GardeningMummy · 15/03/2026 20:46

I beg your pardon?! No I genuinely don’t! Are you implying that only council estates have XL bully dogs? Because I can assure you they don’t! They may be prevalent on them but they’re alllllll over unfortunately. I live in a very, very nice area and someone a few streets over has one. You typecasting council estates is not “an opinion” it’s typecasting.

Edited

Obviously the dogs are all over and being a shitty owner knows no class boundary. However, a very rough council estate with high levels of social deprivation is statistically more likely to have a concentration of overlapping social problems. This will include chaotic people leading chaotic lives who either don't fully comprehend or who don't care because their day to day is so unstable. Responsible dog ownership then takes a low priority.

Credentials: grew up on a very rough inner city council estate and, though I moved away to a proverbial green and leafy area, I still have family members living there.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hahahahahaa. “Normal rent”. Are you stupid? Have you never heard of right to buy and council housing being sold off to private land lords?

who the hell are you tell me what I heard through the wall? I saw the child bleeding outside 2 minutes later.

stop wasting space on my thread

OP posts:
TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:54

I have done an anonymous safeguarding reporting about the grandson before, I have other concerns beyond the dog in regards to that child. I was on pins but AFAIK nothing has come from it.

OP posts:
IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 20:53

You've fallen out with your poor worried mum but not with your stupid naive and ridiculous partner over dogs illegal and trained to kill and not let go??

Does she think your scared of the dog ?
What happened after today.
I was just thinking your partners happy dog petting maybe good cover for you reporting it
..id wait a short while !
Report it anonymously.
And apologies and make up to your poor mum who must be sick with worry

Keepingthingsinteresting · 15/03/2026 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GardeningMummy · 15/03/2026 20:51

I do agree about the XL Bullies though, they absolutely should be banned 100% without exception. I’m not suggesting culling the existing ones but making it an automatic 5 year sentence for breeding or obtaining one from a certain date. It’s the only way lives are going to be saved.

DreamTheMoors · 15/03/2026 20:51

OneSeriesTooMany · 15/03/2026 20:36

The more you write about your partners behaviour the more I’m convinced you need to move. He isn’t protecting you by encouraging the dog to come over and he won’t be as protective of the baby as he clearly doesn’t see the danger

I’m in California.

Every now and then we hear about a toddler being mauled to death by a bully - owned by their grandparents or babysitter or close friends.

And I wonder how those grandparents and babysitters and close friends ever ever EVER forgive themselves.
And I wonder how that toddler’s parents ever forgive themselves.

They probably don’t. Ever.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 15/03/2026 20:51

Keepingthingsinteresting · 15/03/2026 20:48

Wow, you want the dog to be destroyed. Totally lost any sympathy from me so not going to say any of the sensible stuff I had lined up. Whatever you think it is the scummy owner that is the problem, not the dog. Best make your mind up and move and start saving your pennies again.

I don't agree at all. All XL bullies in the UK are from a vicious and dangerous bloodline. The dog has bitten the owners grandchild in the house FFS. The owner is scummy, but the dog itself is also a problem.

TapsOff · 15/03/2026 20:51

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:15

This is what is worrying me. If I knew the dog would definitely be destroyed if I reported then I’d do it. But I’m worried she’ll just get a warning and then be gunning for me, then I’d be even more in danger. I’m scared of a situation where she’s screaming at me outside and the dog picks up on the tension and goes for me

Edited

OP go and tell this to your baby health person (sorry, I can’t remember the name of the community midwife people who come and check on you and fill out the little red book). It’s absolutely bananas that she’s walking around with a volatile living weapon as a pet.

Swipe left for the next trending thread