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To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

491 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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5
PoppySaidYesIKnow · 15/03/2026 21:40

Type all of your concerns onto crime stoppers. It’s anonymous. I have seen first hand what these dogs are capable of and I would have no qualms about reporting it.

Traitorsisontv · 15/03/2026 21:38

Terfedout · 15/03/2026 20:06

I'd report her. If you are worried about being associated with the report, wait a few weeks and then do it. Good luck x

This.

Could you discuss this with RSPCA in the meantime?

Mention your fears about being identified as the complainant.

FionaP1959 · 15/03/2026 21:36

Some ideas:
Find out if you have a local dog warden and see if anything can be done.

Move out. This is for your baby. You will never forgive yourself if something were to happen because you didn't want to pay more rent.

Have a serious chat with your partner. He needs to be far more aware about dangerous dogs.

wishfulthinking25 · 15/03/2026 21:35

I would honestly move. You’re going to want to take baby on walks I presume? How would you ever feel safe leaving and coming back to the house with a dog like that around. I certainly wouldn’t. I think it’s harsh that your mum has fallen out with you over this but I do agree that you need to move and prioritise the wellbeing of you and the baby or be extremely firm with the neighbour about how concerned you are for your safety and see what she says. These dogs are not a joke. If I see them whilst I’m out with DC I immediately cross the road and get as far away as possible.

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 15/03/2026 21:34

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:15

This is what is worrying me. If I knew the dog would definitely be destroyed if I reported then I’d do it. But I’m worried she’ll just get a warning and then be gunning for me, then I’d be even more in danger. I’m scared of a situation where she’s screaming at me outside and the dog picks up on the tension and goes for me

Edited

It won't definitely be destroyed. It'll go in front of magistrates for a decision to be taken. For a report of repeated walking without a muzzle and a neighbour complaint, I'd probably opt for destruction, and generally I try to avoid destruction where possible if there is any sort of excuse/remorse by the owner.

But it's definitely not guaranteed. I'd report anyway though.

cheframsay · 15/03/2026 21:32

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:24

Well i guess I'm one of the fortunate ones then who has been around these breeds and they have been beautifully mannered because the owners treats them supremely and they have been trained to obey their commands.

Never even saw or heard anything about them nipping in a play fight.
Open mouth of course but never actually went for it with their teeth.

I know I'm one of the far and few between

The thing is, if the dog does snap and kill a child, it doesn’t mean it’s bad mannered or a bad dog, or nasty. It is simply doing what it is bred to do. We can’t judge the dog for that, they are totally unstable.

Ethically I don’t even think it’s fair on the dogs to keep them alive and expect them not to kill, it’s just what they do. I don’t doubt for a second that they can be well mannered, lovely, sweet, blah blah. I’m sure they can, but we still can’t deny their nature or instability.

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:32

Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 21:29

Eh? They're cheap to live on because they're undesirable - that's how capitalism works. Social deprivation has lots of causes and causes lots of issues. There's nothing 'champagne socialist' about not wanting to live on one - most people would rather not!

You've clearly identified yourself that this women is not a responsible person. Your mum agrees. You'd be better raising your child with less money but in a safer environment.

We actually agree, I feel the same about council estates having social issues, having always lived on one and experienced it myself. What annoyed me is that poster’s attitude was somewhat hypocritical as they called me snobby but then was hypocritical in the same response saying I should leave the council estate and live elsewhere “like the rest of us”.

Very much gave the impression of “You, who lives on a council estate, are not allowed an opinion on them but I, who live elsewhere, am.”

OP posts:
Lastofthesummerwines · 15/03/2026 21:31

I have a Cockapoo and thankfully we don't have too many xl bullies here but they absolutely petrify me and I can't understand why anyone would have one especially in a home with a child. The adults choose that and it's a death sentence for any child living with one.

Personally I would want to get the dog or us away as soon as I could . If I'm walking my dog and I've seen one I've literally left the field straight away. My little dog would have absolutely no chance with one. So what chance does a child. Imagine your baby starting to walk and being knocked over outside by it and hitting their head.

You're sensible to be very aware.... Your partner on the other hand ?!

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:30

The “dog or owner” debate is irrelevant to the thread anyway. Whether or not you believe it’s the dog or the owner doesn’t change the fact that this huge, 70KG dog (that is actually as tall as me when on its hind legs) is currently uncontrolled and presenting a danger to a pregnant woman/newborn baby. What if it “comes over to say hello” again when I’ve got my baby strapped to my chest in a carrier? I’m only small and it’d knock me straight over and hurt the baby.

OP posts:
Treatstreatstreats · 15/03/2026 21:29

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 21:12

Crazy that someone will moan at me for being “snobbish” about council estates (despite me choosing to live in one) and then in the same breathe says I should move away from the council estate and live elsewhere like “the rest of us”. Showing their unconscious bias there that those who live in council estates are “other” than everyone else. Sounds like a champagne socialist

Edited

Eh? They're cheap to live on because they're undesirable - that's how capitalism works. Social deprivation has lots of causes and causes lots of issues. There's nothing 'champagne socialist' about not wanting to live on one - most people would rather not!

You've clearly identified yourself that this women is not a responsible person. Your mum agrees. You'd be better raising your child with less money but in a safer environment.

SherbertLemons · 15/03/2026 21:28

Honestly. I kind of agree with your mum. You can’t risk your infant being around this dog. Today’s incident demonstrates how the dog can appear without warning so you can’t plan for it. What if you had had a newborn in a pram today. They could have been jumped on, or worse. I understand private rent is more expensive but it’s simply not worth the risk.

you should 100% report the dog. You are early in your pregnancy so hopefully with enough anonymous reports by concerned neighbours (you, your partner, your mum….you get the gist) the dog will be removed by the time baby arrives.

i should add I don’t hate dogs. I have one and she is wonderful. My issue is dangerous breeds and irresponsible owners. It’s not the dogs fault, but you can’t risk the life of your infant.

FadingSpendour · 15/03/2026 21:28

OP, my worry is your partner’s attitude. You may move again and end up near similar neighbours. You need to really speak to him several times until he gets the risk. Maybe get some news articles. He is being very stupid about the situation. Him educating himself is key to your safe future, wherever you live.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:28

And how did partner feel about dog jumping up on his pregnant partner

HairyToity · 15/03/2026 21:26

Personally I'd move. I know it's expensive moving but you will never be able to relax where you live.

Namingbaba · 15/03/2026 21:26

If such a dog had jumped on me I’d be scared to leave especially with a baby in a pram. I’d be moving. I really really hate those dogs. You could try to report the incidents and the dog biting the grandchild. If they went to A&E then there will be a record. I wonder though how realistic it is that they destroy the dog. The process could take a while and then you’ll have your baby. Also won’t she just get a new dog. These issues with neighbours can just go on and on.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 15/03/2026 21:25

I LOVE animals but I would absolutely shit my pants if one of those dogs jumped on me.

greyweek · 15/03/2026 21:25

I think definitely report (for everyone’s sake), but don’t expect anything to change.
You need to move.

waterrat · 15/03/2026 21:24

Op I'd move in this situation - are you in social housing - can you do a swap?

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/03/2026 21:24

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:17

@MusicMakesItAllBetter , all dogs are great until they're not.
An old thread had an a and e nurse saying most people were bitten by the families friendly dog who had never hurt a fly

Expect big dogs like this seriously maim and kill and most come from killer kimbo and breed by idiots.

No one should be feeling afraid like poor op now, frightened by a dog breed endlessly in the news killing and maiming !!

Well i guess I'm one of the fortunate ones then who has been around these breeds and they have been beautifully mannered because the owners treats them supremely and they have been trained to obey their commands.

Never even saw or heard anything about them nipping in a play fight.
Open mouth of course but never actually went for it with their teeth.

I know I'm one of the far and few between

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:24

Yes but reporting also opens op up to this woman turning on her.
Op needs to smile it out and pretend a little longer.
In your house can you get the protective sprays against dogs ?
And how long will it take you to move

I woukdnt talk about this in the house if your partner gets upset and rises voices your neighbour will hear.

trumpisruin · 15/03/2026 21:24

You cant reason with the morons who defend these creatures. Leave the area OP.

cheframsay · 15/03/2026 21:23

Report it. Your partner is an idiot comparing it to a cockerpoo.

I have something similar going on although not as bad as you, I’m in a lovely rural area and never had a problem before, some idiots have just moved in with an XL bully a few weeks ago. It was being walked unleashed and unmuzzled right next to my house - I just started recording the few times I saw them and they eventually confronted me about this and thankfully haven’t come back, but I feel unsafe that it’s even in the area. These are young professional types too, not the typical chav owner, just absolute idiots.

I will be reporting it soon. I would recommend that you get some footage discretely if possible of a breach such as no muzzle, no lead etc, better if you can get a few videos of this on separate days and maybe report it in a few weeks time, although I feel so sad for you living close to this in the meanwhile, I truly understand the anxiety and fear, also the anger at the selfish, thick owners.

Log everything now, type up this incident in your notes so that you have a clear recollection of it, get some footage. Maybe email your local councillor first and explain you are extremely fearful of retaliation and backlash and see if they can advise or have a way to present this to police as a community safety issue, make it clear that your footage or incident will identify you and you don’t consent to them sharing any of those identifying details.

Your mum just sounds so scared, she likely wants you to see the severity of the situation but I think you already do, just feel trapped. If it really does come to it, you should try to move although I agree - you really shouldn’t have to.

I’n so sorry you are dealing with this, but please start logging and recording anything you can so you can build up some evidence to report this, you are well within your right to report it and will likely protect other people by doing so.

Greenwriter76 · 15/03/2026 21:23

This sounds like a nightmare OP, I feel for you. You should definitely move to rented accommodation if you can, especially with a baby on the way.
YANBU to report the dog, but I understand your anxiety at the potential consequences, having experienced living next to some awful people myself (who are now all in prison or dead!)
For everyone criticising the OP for wanting the dog destroyed, it’s illegal to rehome this breed, so if the authorities know it attacked the poor grandchild, there will be no alternative.
Unfortunately these types of breeds seem to attract the very owners that exacerbate their risks.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 15/03/2026 21:22

tealandteal · 15/03/2026 20:07

Honestly I don’t see what choice you have but to report.

I agree it needs reporting and I agree with your Mum, why on earth would you choose to live there with a baby on the way!

NFPorterkeeponkeepingonNsoul · 15/03/2026 21:21

Mutant dog owners are not the brightest or most approachable of people.
Woman in our area has one it's huge and takes her for a walk.
Her teen daughter takes it out and she couldn't do anything if it flipped.
Three boisterous children in a flat +huge mutant dog ,what could go wrong.🤷

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