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Original poster

To report my neighbours XL bully, it is ruining my life

491 replies

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:03

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner currently live on quite a rough council estate as we are saving up for a house deposit. Won’t be able to move for another couple of years.

Our next door neighbour has an XL bully. I am usually a dog lover but feel really uneasy about these dogs. My mum was a dog walker for a few years and I got bit by a pit-bull and repeatedly witnessed incidents involving them. My childhood best friend was left with lifelong facial scares after her rescue pitbull randomly decided to bite her face off during a game of fetch.

The XL bully hasn’t personally attacked us yet but it’s been involved in several incidents. It’s been known to get in fights on the local field with other dogs on the estate but owner insists it’s always the other dog’s fault. She leaves it unattended in the front garden, gate is usually closed but it could easily jump over. My partner doesn’t understand the danger that these dogs present and often encourages it to come over to stroke it when we go out. Our walls are very thin and I know from overhearing domestic arguments that it’s bitten the owners autistic grandson before when they’ve been playing.

She often walks 2 minutes the road to another friend’s house and doesn’t bother muzzling or leashing it for this as it’s a short walk. It just runs down the road in front of her. For proper walks it’s on a leash but no muzzle as it “doesn’t like a muzzle.” She often moans to be that she’s suspicious that people on the estate will “snitch” on her so she tries to walk early morning or late at night.

Being pregnant I’ve been a lot more cautious and try to only go out when my partner can give me a lift - I can’t drive. However an incident today has left me terrified. I was on the road in front of our house at lunchtime cleaning the car and they come out to walk to the friend’s house. It jumps on my back trying to be friendly and lick me - this dog weighs 70kg. I froze and was terrified and she didn’t pull him off, she just kept shouting its name until it ran to her and they left.

It’s really starting to ruin my life and my partner doesn’t care as he just thinks it’s a funny, goofy big dog. He always brings up my parent’s cockerpoo as an example as occasionally nips at people when it is guarding food but the difference is that a cockerpoo isn’t capable of killing a healthy adult, and a cockerpoo usually will bite once then back off. XL bullies generally are genetically wired to try to kill and could turn at any moment.

I’ve now fallen out with my mum too as she’s very worried about mine and the baby’s safety and she says we should look at private renting somewhere else until we can afford to buy. This annoyed me as we only pay £500 a month rent at the moment and if we were to move to another private rental it’d be hundreds
more and we would lose a load to our savings to moving costs. I don’t see why we should have to do this. My mum says I’m putting money over my baby’s safety and has become angry at me. I feel like I can’t win.

I want to report as she’s breaking the law letting it out unleashed and unmuzzled but I’m concerned that the neighbour would know it’s me after the incident today and make my life hell. She is somewhat unhinged, nice enough on a shallow level, will invite you in for a cuppa and chat to you etc bit get on the wrong side of her and she’s as rough as a bears arse and will get family members to bang on your door etc. Police have been called before when she’s had disputes with another neighbour about rats in the garden. I hate confrontation and really don’t know what to do.

any advice appreciated

OP posts:
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Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 17/08/2026 09:40

Sorry didnt rttft. Good on you op.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 17/08/2026 09:37

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

TheGreatDownandOut · 17/08/2026 07:29

I hope things have improved for you OP!
I blame social media for perpetuating the ‘big softie’ stereotype with this breed of dog. I’ve seen loads of videos of them around small children and babies and it makes me cringe. I love dogs, I have one myself but I’d NEVER trust an XL, no matter how well trained. You can’t train a breed’s traits out of them no matter how hard you try.

SALaw · 17/08/2026 03:53

TheLangyers · 16/03/2026 00:06

My partner incenses me when I see him around the dog. All “Ooooh what a big strong soft boy!!!”. I’ve tried to have words with him tonight about it and been shut down straight away with “Oh he’s just a big old softie he’d never hurt you!”. And proceeded to bring up my parent’s dog again.

As I repeated, my parents dog can be managed as it can be put in another room when we visit with the baby. This dog we have no control over and is much stronger, I’m terrified.

He brings up my parent’s dog as an attempt at “Whataboutism” and it drives me nuts as it’s completely irrelevant. Two wrongs don’t make a right. He’s being an idiot on this.

Edited

Your partner sounds like he might be an idiot? I’d never trust his judgement with the baby’s safety. That will be a long hard slog for you as a parent.

IrradiatedHaggis · 17/08/2026 03:32

I wouldn't advise breaking up with him if he's still going to live in the council flat. He sounds like he'd have no problem showing the baby to the "big softy" next door during his visitation days.

Atsocta · 17/08/2026 02:48

I also wondered how this went, I would report any dog I thought dangerous, saying that it’s often the Owner that’s Dangerous for not training and rearing the dog properly..

SillyOpalPombear · 16/08/2026 19:59

TheLangyers · 03/04/2026 15:21

I’m actually debating whether to call the police but the American bully isn’t actually banned as it’s not an XL and there was no serious injury so it may be futile

Any updates? Been thinking of you and hope things have worked out well for you. Our new neighbours have one of these awful dogs and lots of small kids- terrifies me!

changenameagain555 · 03/04/2026 23:34

TheLangyers · 03/04/2026 15:21

I’m actually debating whether to call the police but the American bully isn’t actually banned as it’s not an XL and there was no serious injury so it may be futile

American pit bulls have been banned in the UK for years. However you also call it an American bully so not sure what kind of breed it is. When I google American bully I just get XL bully coming up.

ThePoshUns · 03/04/2026 15:25

Also if you’ve reported to social services they should make police aware as they will
likely investigate this jointly.

ThePoshUns · 03/04/2026 15:24

Hi OP, that’s really poor parenting on your neighbours. Good on you for reporting and getting out of there. You’re absolutely doing the right thing and good that your partner has finally seen sense.

Original poster
TheLangyers · 03/04/2026 15:21

I’m actually debating whether to call the police but the American bully isn’t actually banned as it’s not an XL and there was no serious injury so it may be futile

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLangyers · 03/04/2026 15:18

I know this is an old thread now but things have escalated today. Not with the XL bully on one side of our house but the standard American pitbull on the other side of us (who fights gets in scraps with the XL).

It has bitten the leg of its owners child this morning whilst the child was playing on their small garden slide. The parents were indoors and child playing outside with the dog. I had been watching out of my window as had concerns and was prepared to need to intervene at any moment. I saw the child stood on top of the slide with the dog stood at the bottom waiting for him to slide down and eventually the dog went for his leg and pulled him off the slide. Thankfully at this stage the dad came out and separated them. As far as I know the child hasn’t been taken to hospital, from what I saw the dog only managed to grab his joggers and not flesh.

I’ve put in child safe-guarding reports for the kids on both sides of us and I am moving to my mums. Partner has finally seen some sense and says we can look at renting a small flat whilst continuing to save our house deposit.

OP posts:
SillyOpalPombear · 01/04/2026 22:46

I really feel for you, and I'm really willing you to escape this situation. I do feel its unfair you have to move but it sounds like you are fairly outnumbered and not in the best area to raise a child anyhow. Have you looked into shared ownership maybe as a way to buy now with a smaller deposit? Otherwise I would go and live with your Mum and find somewhere else to rent longer term where you will feel more comfortable, its not worth the risk.

In the meantime put in an anonymous crime stopper online report in on a daily basis- everytime you see the dog unsecured and unmuzzled in the front garden and on the street she is not complying with the rules and the more reports they receive the better so they can investigate. The dog needs to be removed from an unfit and unhinged owner before someone gets hurt.
Please keep us updated!

trumpisruin · 21/03/2026 17:33

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looselegs · 21/03/2026 14:27

We have a Staffy. He's the most gentle soul ever. 3 years ago he was attacked by 3 XL Bullies whilst my daughter was walking him. They were actually on a lead, but we're so strong that they dragged their (male) owner across the street so they could get to our boy ( also on a lead ). The owner couldn't get them off him,my daughter was hitting and kicking the XL's to get them off our boy and ended up on the floor and getting bitten whilst defending him. Between the 3 Bullies, they could have killed her and our Staffy.
Despite all this, the owner of the Bullies eventually just walked off with them.
Our boy nearly had his ear ripped off and, once the vet had shaved the fir around his ear and neck you could see many other puncture wounds, including one in his throat. There were also many deep claw marks around his head and neck where they were grabbing at him.
It was a hugely distressing time, but thankfully they both recovered well.
The 3 Bullies involved then went on to attack and kill a spaniel in front of its owner and her children. My daughter reported her attack to the police and gave a description and it was the same man. When the spaniel owner was screaming at him after her dog was attacked, he told her to fuck off and walked away. He was eventually arrested and the dogs were impounded although I don't know what happened to them.
When then dog jumped up your back, it could have easily sunk its teeth in and you wouldn't have stood a chance- they're all muscle and weigh more than a lot of humans do.
To be surrounded by 3 of them must be a nightmare. Your husband is being a naive arsehole if he thinks they're not dangerous- with a lot of breeds, it is down to the owners. But not XL Bullies.

QuintadosMalvados · 21/03/2026 14:24

When I temporarily took on my ds's pocket money leaflet delivery job when he was in the 6th form as he'd damaged his ankle, I did notice that insecure fencing went hand in hand with the sort of people who had these beasts.
American bully lives here or some such notice on the gate.

I wouldn't deliver there or even the two houses either side.
(There were a set amount of leaflets and as long as they were all delivered you could miss a few here and there.)
If I went to large detached houses that had proper guard dogs, I could be sure that they couldn't get out and were extremely well trained. And the letterbox on the outside of a locked, very secure gate.

Get stupid effing dog fail to get 10% off at your nearest Harvester 😁

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 21/03/2026 14:08

I get you OP.

We have one that lives nearby. It pulls, it jumps and the idiot who owns it has on a lead that is tied around its collar. He has no control over it and I'm petrified it will come for me.

Robogob · 21/03/2026 14:02

I would move. You cannot win with people like that. I gave up a council house to get away from next door neighbours like you describe. It was utter misery.

There’s no way in hell I’d live next to one of those things. I’d have moved in with my mum and my partner could do what he liked if he found it all so amusing. Is he a bit thick? You might as well be living next door to a fucking lion. Get out asap.

QuintadosMalvados · 21/03/2026 13:54

ThePoshUns · 19/03/2026 20:14

In the small county where I live in South Wales there have been a baby, a 9 year old boy and an elderly lady killed by XL bullies and many more seriously injured. In my mind keeping these dogs and walking around with them is as dangerous as brandishing a loaded gun. Just imagine if you’re getting out of the car with your baby and your neighbours dog is in the vicinity and your crying baby triggers it….
I am scared for you OP

Tread Caerphilly.

Sorry just a joke. I don't expect you to read my other posts here but trust me I completely and utterly agree with the OP.

Original poster
TheLangyers · 21/03/2026 12:42

globalnomad25 · 21/03/2026 09:25

Given everything you've said, it would entirely rational to stay at your parents now.

The dangerous dogs surrounding you are risks to you right now - you already know the dog next door is capable of jumping on you and knocking you over, harming both you and the baby potentially. There is, also, the issue of staying somewhere where you are constantly feeling on edge - all those stress hormones aren’t good for you or your pregnancy. It’s only going to get worse as spring approaches - you are going to want to sit in the garden ( Vitamin D is great during pregnancy!) but the dogs will also increasingly be outside and you’ll feel frustrated and stressed.

On the other hand, the risk from your parents’ dog is very different - for all the reasons you’ve said - and the only ‘real’ risk I can see could be to a toddler who might try to take the dog’s blanket away. But, since you’re only 14 weeks pregnant, that’s not a risk for a long time. Plus, you’d remove the stress you currently feel and could get extra support from your parents. It’s even possible that staying there while pregnant LESSENS the risk to your child from your parents’ dog - the dog will get used to the scent of the baby before it’s even born and that may encourage the dog to see the baby as part of the pack and not a threat.

Don’t be too hard on your partner though - I found with my DH that I felt protective of my children as soon as I fell pregnant but he didn’t seem to feel the same until they were actually born. I think a pregnant woman’s hormones are some sort of protective superpower - heightening our ability to detect risk to our kids! As my mum used to say “a mother’s worry saves the child”.

So, if you choose to go, do so calmly and reassure your partner that you love him and aren’t leaving him, but you can’t get rid of this fear while living so close to the neighbour’s dog and you need to think of the baby right now. If he tries to argue that the dog is a ‘softy’ then just acknowledge that he may disagree re the risk from the dog, but your stress is real and that’s also a risk in itself.

If you can get your partner to agree, I’d also recommend that you give notice on your rental place - even that act of knowing that there’s a finite end to this situation may well help you emotionally.

Everything else can be worked out later!

Good luck OP. For what it’s worth, I am a huge dog lover so usually give all dogs the benefit of the doubt but, in this case, I believe that your instinct re the risk from your neighbour’s dog is spot on - a sign you’re going to be a great mum!

I agree with every word and thank you for understanding about my parent’s dog.

really helpful and kind post, thank you

OP posts:
globalnomad25 · 21/03/2026 09:25

Given everything you've said, it would entirely rational to stay at your parents now.

The dangerous dogs surrounding you are risks to you right now - you already know the dog next door is capable of jumping on you and knocking you over, harming both you and the baby potentially. There is, also, the issue of staying somewhere where you are constantly feeling on edge - all those stress hormones aren’t good for you or your pregnancy. It’s only going to get worse as spring approaches - you are going to want to sit in the garden ( Vitamin D is great during pregnancy!) but the dogs will also increasingly be outside and you’ll feel frustrated and stressed.

On the other hand, the risk from your parents’ dog is very different - for all the reasons you’ve said - and the only ‘real’ risk I can see could be to a toddler who might try to take the dog’s blanket away. But, since you’re only 14 weeks pregnant, that’s not a risk for a long time. Plus, you’d remove the stress you currently feel and could get extra support from your parents. It’s even possible that staying there while pregnant LESSENS the risk to your child from your parents’ dog - the dog will get used to the scent of the baby before it’s even born and that may encourage the dog to see the baby as part of the pack and not a threat.

Don’t be too hard on your partner though - I found with my DH that I felt protective of my children as soon as I fell pregnant but he didn’t seem to feel the same until they were actually born. I think a pregnant woman’s hormones are some sort of protective superpower - heightening our ability to detect risk to our kids! As my mum used to say “a mother’s worry saves the child”.

So, if you choose to go, do so calmly and reassure your partner that you love him and aren’t leaving him, but you can’t get rid of this fear while living so close to the neighbour’s dog and you need to think of the baby right now. If he tries to argue that the dog is a ‘softy’ then just acknowledge that he may disagree re the risk from the dog, but your stress is real and that’s also a risk in itself.

If you can get your partner to agree, I’d also recommend that you give notice on your rental place - even that act of knowing that there’s a finite end to this situation may well help you emotionally.

Everything else can be worked out later!

Good luck OP. For what it’s worth, I am a huge dog lover so usually give all dogs the benefit of the doubt but, in this case, I believe that your instinct re the risk from your neighbour’s dog is spot on - a sign you’re going to be a great mum!

Frolie · 20/03/2026 19:31

I feel so sorry for you, OP. I’d be absolutely terrified to have an XL living next door, let alone one behind me and a pit bull next door. You need to move as soon as possible. You deserve to enjoy your garden without fear. You deserve to leave your house without being pounced on by a 70KG beast. Imagine what it will be like when you’re carrying a baby in a maxi cosi car seat to your front door? You and your baby are so vulnerable. You need to listen to your instincts and get the hell out of there. There have been far too many deaths caused by XL Bully’s … you don’t want to become a statistic. Whatever the cost, get out of there.

By the way, I’m not impressed by your partner’s attitude. But that’s an issue to confront another day. For now, get yourself and your precious unborn baby somewhere safe.

As a thought, have you mentioned the situation to your midwife? They might be able to escalate a complaint / report?

MySaintedAunt · 20/03/2026 17:27

SandyHappy · 16/03/2026 12:37

It is always down to how they are raised/trained by a person.

I'm so sick of hearing this utter bullshit, certain traits are bred into dog breeds FACT, it's why collies display herding behaviour, even when not a working dog, it's why certain dogs will retrieve, guard, chase etc, it comes naturally to they have been bred specifically for decades to have those desirable traits.. XL bully's are no different.

You can train a dog to be the best, most compliant dog in the world, but you cannot remove it's instincts and in the right set of circumstances their instincts will take over any 'training' you think you have instilled. XL Bully's descend from dogs bred for speed and aggression, they will do what comes naturally to them in the right circumstances.

Insisting dogs are just a blank canvas, and any undesirable traits are a product of their upbringing is just stupid quite frankly, and that sort of ignorant attitude is why so many people and pets have been murdered by these dogs out of control.

Show quote history

I agree with this. While good training and care can achieve a lot it won't entirely erase a dog's inherent tendencies.
One of mine is a border collie. He's never been a working dog yet has several classic traits - the 'low down' stance when something interests him, and a fondness for rounding up - gently! - other dogs. I've not trained him to do either of those things. My spaniel has other classic 'spaniel' habits, my rescue other habits....etc etc They've been trained by me, are cared for by me but are all quite different in character.

Your DH really needs to gen up on XL Bully traits & behaviours, and stop sucking up to a dog that frightens you, is poorly controlled and has shown aggressive tendencies. Why does he feel the need to do that, especially as you're pregnant and physically more vulnerable?
I got knocked sideways by a Newfoundland a while back & my ex showed more concern for me than your DP currently is for you.

Tekknonan · 20/03/2026 17:08

TheLangyers · 15/03/2026 20:19

Yes I agree about parent’s cockerpoo. What I meant was that I just don’t think it’s comparable. I just don’t think a small cockerooo dog who is known to nip in a very specific situation (if you try to get a toy out of his mouth when he’s resource guarding) and gives plenty of warning body language before doing so, and then backs off after one nip, isn’t comparable to a 70kg XL bully who is bred from line of dogs that have a genetic disposition to bite on the neck and hold on to the victim until they are dead.

I’d of course be cautious of baby being around the first dog too, but I don’t think the risk is comparable at all. The first dog is easily managed by supervising and being aware of the dog’s triggers. The second scenario, of a 70kg XL bully with a deciding to maul you when on a walk with your baby is quite different.

I just brought up my parent’s dog as I hate when my partner compares to make the point that the XL bully is harmless.

Edited
Show quote history

Your parents' dog is not harmless, especially o a small child. Cockerpoos are not as dangerous as XL Bullies, obviously, but most dogs can inflict nasty injuries - this is why they should be trained. A resource guarding dog is a potentially dangerous dog. I'm a dog lover, I've had dogs for years, including Jack Russels who are notorious for 'nipping.' Mine were trained and never bit, but they were never off lead when children were around. It's not worth the risk.

Cockerpoos can be neurotic and difficult dogs. I wouldn't let your child near this one.

And yes, give it a few weeks, then report your neighbour. As the dog hasn't attacked anyone, it probably won't be put down, but she is putting her own animal at risk as well as other people. XL Bullies can be lovable goons with people, but if they turn, they are so strong with such powerful jaws, they can kill. No one should keep them - they are not suitable as domestic dogs.

Whatexcellentboiledpotatoes · 20/03/2026 16:56

TheLangyers · 19/03/2026 15:54

We technically do have enough for a 10% deposit and about £4000 for solicitor fees etc. But we had ideally wanted a 20% deposit and DP was going to use the £4000 to replace our 15 year old car so that we have something more reliable when the baby is here. We just wanted to be more comfortable when buying and getting the mortgage.

I’ve told DP I’m scared and want to look at buying again but he’s told me I’m being ridiculous and to get over the dog situation since I haven’t actually been attacked

Edited
Show quote history

So he wants you to be attacked in order to be taken seriously??

FFS. You need to be firm with him now. Tell him living there is no longer an option for you and you need to find somewhere else to live, either buying or renting. Hopefully he will come with you.