AIBU to want to stay in our home temporarily?

Are you actually listed on the deeds? Or did you buy it "together" but he paid?

You children will adapt quickly they are more resilient than we give them credit for. It's not fair to expect him to fork out on rent for 2 years.

It won’t take them two months to get used to it.

Your kids are young you can move. It’s not unusual; it’s fine; you just don’t want to.

The other option is to look at a remortgage to buy him out if you can afford to do so.

He cannot simply force you to sell, he would need to get a court order. But what you do need is an equity freeze on his share of the property so he cannot claim more than what hes paid in. You will need to go speak to a solicitor and get the house appraised and get a notified equity share as of the date you split and you alone started paying the mortgage.

Sorry OP I know this is difficult but you are being unreasonable. You can’t expect him to put his life on hold for two years. Sell the house and find a place of your own. The kids will be adjust

If they were married, she still couldn’t force this.

He is being reasonable-selling the house and splitting the equity asap is the best thing to do here-nothing is going to change in 2 years and why should he have to spunk thousands in rent?

OP, most people I know who have been in your situation have begged & borrowed the money to buy him out - usually from parents - who have then acted as guarantor for the mortgage. I know not everyone has the bank of mum & dad available, but could be a possibility...
Maybe get some legal advice from a family solicitor on your rights and the best way forward. When I was getting divorced I had no clue where to even start, and had an hour's phone call with a solicitor for £79 which was v helpful. But I think you'll find he has every right to stay on in house if you refuse to sell.

Tbh I can’t see the value of staying for 2 years. Make a clean break and a new start for you and the kids.

That 20k in a year won't go no where if he's having to private rent and pay maintenance.

I wouldn't choose to make myself broke no, stay or sell seems fair, sorry OP.

You need to sell and find somewhere for you and your children to live. Yes it's temporarily unsettling for them but they will adjust and be fine. Life is full of change and your children will have to deal with changes and uncertainty. The good news is while they're this little you are their anchor and their home. If mum is there, they will be ok. Sell the house and move on with your life and establish a new routine with your little ones. It will all work out 💐

Yes it’s unfair for you to keep his share of the equity the house has accumulated since you purchased the property together and on top of that you want him to waste his net wages on renting for the next two years.

I’m guessing that if you can’t afford to buy him out, you’ll struggle to get an alternative mortgage on your own, unless you massively downsize? I’m also guessing you feel he should be more sympathetic to your situation as you will be caring for his children? Unfortunately, a split is a split. You share the assets, childcare and costs of raising those children. How each of you manage to do this is your own responsibilities.

You need to sell. He wants his half and rightly so!

You're prolonging the inevitable i'm afraid OP. "I have asked to stay in the family home for the next 2 years to make sure the kids have the stability of there home while they get used to the split"
And 2yrs to get used to you splitting up is OTT. It won't take them 2yrs to get used to it.

Legally he can force you to sell. Sorry.

I think you're being unreasonable, you need to sell up and move on. Two years rent for him is a lot of money and a waste of time. You can both buy something else.

Your wishes aren’t realistic, he doesn’t agree (most wouldn’t) and you wouldn’t win in a legal dispute, so best to accept it and proceed with selling and dividing equity.

Yes you’re being unreasonable. Your life doesn’t change but he has to move out and pay for a rental somewhere until you decide you want to sell? Only then, on your terms and your timescales can he buy and move on. If it were the other way round you wouldn’t do that. Clean break needed whilst the kids are young. They’ll adjust far more quickly than you think. As long as you’re both decent to each other and them and don’t turn a split into a war.

I’d ask him if he’s happy to share the bed when your new boyfriend comes over 😂

In all seriousness, I get your point re: the kids, but I also understand that he won’t want to just rent for at least two years when he has money tied up. If you can’t buy him out, best to sell up and find somewhere else.

The children don’t need the extended drama.
Maybe work with him on some part of the house sale so that the children can grow up in a nice neighborhood (help with a deposit)

Why don’t you consider ‘nesting’ where you both contribute the house and live 50/50 with the children so they’re not disrupted?
Or could your ex afford to buy you out and keep the house with the children and you buy somewhere else, so that they’re not disrupted?

The joint house was part of the partnership deal - the partnership is gone so you take your share of the equity, he takes his and you both move on.

I don't really see what changes in 2 years either, it's an upheaval whenever it happens.

His response is fair. If he continues to own a house then he gets to live in the house.if you want to live separately, sell.

I can understand your reasoning.

But temporarily isn't two years. And nice rental property isn't sitting around empty. I can see why he isn't keen on this arrangement.

I do think you probably need to get on with the sale and get your children settled into their new surroundings sooner rather than later. There will never be a good time.

It's unreasonable to expect him to rent for 2 years when he also owns the home just because he earns more. He has the same rights to the home as you do.

Get it sold.