AIBU to want to sell my house and daughter wants continue to rent it ?

Your daughter has become very reliant on you and is possibly hoping to just inherit the house as your other daughter is settled.

This is hugely presumptuous.

Honestly OP, has she been trying to plan and help herself towards this day?

Any inheritance needs to be split fairly.
She has already benefited enormously from a low rent.
I wonder has this done her any real favor in the long run?

Stay strong and firm on this.
Do not be guilted by her.
I hope you have good health news going forward.
Do not allow her to stress you further at this time.

I have recently been diagnosed with cancer - my only urge is to ensure my 4 young adult children have the means to have a roof of their heads - it’s been a bit primal for me - if they aren’t going to have me in their life I need to leave them with some physical security. I might well be being irrational but that’s where my gut went unexpectedly - I have no bucket list just to be close to my DCs and see them with some sort of settled foundation.

The OP has a life limiting illness, and would like to use the profit of money she has earned to live while she can. Her DD has had a good ride from her mum for many years, it’s selfish to not see why your mum might need to free up her finances.

Selfish is an odd word though, because everyone should be a bit selfish - you have to put yourself somewhere in your list of priorities!

I guess she’s being entitled as she’s got no right to ask this of you - it’s your house, and she only asked to rent it “for a while” not forever

I can understand why you want to do things while you are well but if it was me I couldn't sell a house that was my DDs and DGCs home.
Can you use the money she pays you on rent to do the things you want to do? Would she be able to find anywhere else to live? How would you feel doing the things you want to do if your grandchildren had to live in unsuitable accommodation? Was the house her family home that she shared with her father? If so how would he feel about it?
Having said that you are not being unreasonable either your daughter should be more understanding she doesn't have a right to rent your home or to pay a under the market rent. Perhaps you can increase the rent?
I hope you can both find some sort of compromise.

I think this is her being a bit selfish!

If you’re willing to help her out towards buying her own place, that sounds very generous.

Sounds like it wasn’t meant to be a long term thing either!

Iv always helped out which ever daughter needs help. This will never change.

Perhaps it needs to change?

Maybe offer her the opportunity to buy half the house (or another %) So she buys herself security & releases a chunk for you to use.
If you want to keep ownership of an entire property, then sell & buy a smaller 3 bedroom in a cheaper area? Or a two bedroom that kids can share/she could use living space to sleep in. She can still rent, but has to accept her family having less space/further to commute etc as a trade off for low rent.

She can’t dictate to you what you do with your investment, but it would be nice to continue to help her a bit if you can. She also needs to have a plan in place for after your day when she’ll have to share what you leave with siblings.

You’re not being selfish at all OP. Your daughter needs to take responsibility for her own life. I rented a house to relatives once. Never again!

OP is choosing to put herself before the needs of her child and grandchildren. By definition that is selfish.

Being in your 40s & expecting your mum to house you is surely selfish?

Could you try to sell it to a landlord who will still rent it out? Ask an estate agent.

She might have to pay more rent though but perhaps you could help her a little with it?

Put yourself first here.

Your daughter is likely just upset and worried about her situation but shit happens doesn’t it and the last thing you need is her guilting you.

Are some people missing the why is OP selling?....

I was waiting for the judgement to creep in. Would you still be considering this if it was your other daughter? Or if the one who rents from you managed her finances better?

Doesn’t this depend on the conversations when the agreement was made? If my mum had said “sure, you can live there, with a low rent” and that was it, I’m not sure I would have expected her to turn round 6 years later and kick me and my children out. If she had said “sure, I can help you out short term until you get back on your feet, but if my situation changes, I might need to sell it” Then there would be a different mindset.

OP is choosing to put herself before the needs of her child and grandchildren. By definition that is selfish. Whether she is right to do that is a matter of opinion. I can’t imagine doing such a thing if I was financially able to avoid it, but I’ve never been in OP’s position so I can’t know what I would do in that situation.

Well hasn't your daughter been lucky that you have a partner to live with & therefore a property to rent to he at below market price.

And she thinks that you are selfish?

Wow!

Yanbu OP. It's not like you are doing it for shit and giggles.
You can put yourself first, especially in situation like that. You still plan on helping anyway so it's not like you are just kicking her out.
Go on with your plan.

Has she been able to save anything for a deposit?

I can see where this is a tough one. But your daughter and grandkids will have it really tough without your help and I personally couldn't put them out of a home so I could go do stuff. My priority would be their security. So I would not sell and I would leave her the home in my will.

I agree with others that I would try and find a way for your DD to buy the house herself. Kicking her out now, when thousands of others are also being kicked out due to the new rent rules would be heartless and I could never do that to one of my DCs. I would want my DD (or my GCs) to inherit the house if I knew I had a terminal illness.

Can she buy the house off you? At an affordable price?
I would struggle to kick my daughter and grandkids out to the vagaries of private renting if I didn't have to. I would hope she's been able to save over the years but I also know how expensive life is as a single mum even with 'cheaper' rent. I privately rented for 11 years and the rent never went up much so by the time I left it was well below market rate but it was still a lot of money and I still didn't have enough spare to save let alone save for a house deposit.