AIBU to want to sell my house and daughter wants continue to rent it ?

What would?

I'm suggesting it as an alternative to selling up. It would leave the OP much less vulnerable, surely.

But the other suggestion, of selling part of the house to DD is a good one too (if op's daughter can do it).

Do you actually realise how hard it might be for a lone parent with kids to save money ?

I would be looking along these lines

I think it's important you live the best life you can now, while you can, and tell your daughter, much as you love her and your grandchildren, she needs to take some responsibility for her life.

I think the OP wants to downsize as well as release some funds for travel.
If her current relationship fails she will be left vulnerable, with nowhere to live, while battling cancer. Too risky imo.

You are not selfish at all. You are very kind and generous.

Selfish means - of a person, action, or motive - lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

You ahve been incredibly kind to your daughter who sounds very entitled.

You must live your best life, your daughter is middle aged and has o stand on her own two feet.

It leaves the OP vulnerable if anything happened with her relationship and living with her partner though.

@Chloe2434 have you considered getting a mortgage yourself?

It would have to be a buy-to-let mortgage of course, and your daughter would have to have a formal tenancy agreement, but it could release some of the capital for you.

I'm not surprised she objects! She's really sitting pretty at the moment, being subsidised by you. Time for her to stand on her own two feet methinks.

Can you not sell this house, buy a smaller one that she can rent from you?

I'm struggling to think what could make a 42 year old woman this this arrangement should continue when my mother has cancelled and wants the money.

She will be eligible even now. As long as the property wasn’t purchased solely to rent to the dd she can claim the housing part of Uc.

Since op originally lived there, a different tenant and the sister all before the current Dd as long as she has a proper tenancy agreement she will get it on her claim.

Calling you selfish when she is trying to deny you the chances of wanting to do XYZ whilst you can just because she wants her rent kept low and throwing in some blackmail using your DGC aswell.

Your daughter is being incredibly selfish! You rented the house to her for low rent for ages.
Sell the house, enjoy your life.You don[t have to give your very ungrateful daughter any explanation!

My mum was a single mum (well widowed when I was 9) and we lived in a house owned by my grandparents and paid low rent. I ended up with dreadful anxiety and depression as a teenager and wouldn't have coped if my grandparents had thrown me out of my childhood home to sell it. Thankfully they never did and I am beyond grateful for everything they have done for me. To this day they are my rock.

Obviously, as an adult I can see it from both perspectives and have sympathy for you and am ever so sorry to hear about your illness. However, I'm not sure your grandchildren will have the emotional maturity to process such a change and may feel betrayed.

I was wondering about something similar to this. Roughly speaking, could your DD living in your house afford to buy half of it - her sister’s half? She would pay you, for now. She would continue to live there, and her sister (only) would get a cash inheritance from the sale when you die, or sooner if you want.

Some adjustments need to be made for the present and future value of money, and the amount of capital you wish to draw upon needs to come equally from both their inheritances, but a professional could arrange this.

OP, you say your cancer is slow growing. I very much hope you have a chance for a cure or at least that it can be managed for a good long time. DF has had small lung metastases managed by periodic radiation for about 15 years now, with his original tumour long gone. He no longer plays tennis but he goes to the gym twice a week, and he is 90!

Here on MN I have noticed some people think that some mothers should give everything to their adult children, no matter what and drop everything to run to their aid, even if is something an normal adult can cope with.. It's disheartening actually to see so many people feel so entitled and demanding towards parents.

OP, you are sick. Even if you were not sick, you do not have to sub your daughter for the rest of your life. She has six years to try and put something into place, even be on a housing association wait list if she couldn't afford market rates.

What she has said to you is appalling and unkind. If you were my mum I would want you to live the best life with however long you had left.

I think there is a case for saying you must sell it OP. Because you can't leave this daughter in the house until whenever you die, becasue then it will cause huge rifts between both your daughters, as I imagine the resident daughter will refuse to leave, so splitting the inheritnce will be virtually impossible. So for sibling harmony I would avoid leaving that mess of a situation to occur.

OP you need to get this sorted legally as it will be difficult for them to sort out after you're gone.

Firstly, is there a tenancy agreement or is this an informal letting?

Sorry to talk about difficult future times, but I think you need to sort this now. I imagine that down the line it will be very difficult for your other daughter to gain her share of the property. The one currently living in your house sounds like she thinks she's entitled to stay there no matter what. This isn't going to change when your other daughter would like her inheritance. Its likely to cause a rift between them.

Could you get a mortgage against the home and use her rent to make the payments?

You would have a lump of money, house would still be yours.

Have you discussed with dd who lives in the house that when you die the house will need to be sold to give siblings their share?

The daughter may be eligible for some universal credit to help pay the rent. As she has been renting from a family member she didn't (if she was honest to them!) as it's a common fraud.

If the current situation in the middle east keeps going for more than 3-4 weeks, you'd be throwing her to the wolves in terms of rents/mortgage rates. Same situation makes travel precarious. In your shoes, I'd wait, if it keeps going like this, you'll profit from the inevitable property value jump and not evict a teenager prone to anxiety just as gcses kick off.

You’re not being unreasonable. Your younger daughter is being selfish and manipulative.

you’ve a life limiting disease. To be blunt the issue of the house needs to be dealt with now so you can (a) use the money to do what you want; and (b) you’re not leaving your older daughter with the argument/hassle of dealing with this. It would be very unfair to leave this for her to deal with as your you her daughter has shown she won’t go quietly.

TBH whilst you’ve said you haven’t treated your daughters differently, the reality is that your younger daughter has stopped your rental income for 6 which is selfish of her which may or may not be relevant as it will have had an impact on your finances. In your younger daughter’s shoes I’d be embarrassed and be actively trying to improve my situation.

OP's already said there's some months her daughter doesn't pay the rent and she helps her out financially with basics. Her daughter is not living within her means. She can't afford a 3 bed home with a garden without significant financial help. Your plan would screw over OP's youngest daughter.

The point has come where OP wants to put her affairs in order. She can't continue to subsidize her eldest and she knows if she leaves the home for the kids to sort, youngest will get screwed by eldest. It's time to give her 42 year old, who's significantly benefitted over the last 6 years and turned down an offer of cash for a deposit, her notice. It's pretty obvious daughter's plan is to guilt her mom into letting her stay, then squat and basically dare sister to remove her.

I think YANBU.

When I read the opening post, I assumed from your daughter's age that you and your partner were in your mid 70s and therefore a) unlikely to split up and b) that a slow going cancer would still give you a full life expectancy. So I thought YWBU.

But then I saw that you're only 61 and plan to travel, see far flung friends etc. That's exactly what I'd want to do in your position. It sounds like you have gone from being a very young first time mother to raising two daughters and creating a financially secure life for yourself. Your daughters are now middle aged with children and jobs. You probably weren't able to think much about yourself throughout the whole of your 20s (at which age your daughters - like most young adults - were probably having fun, not saving for the future) Your only responsibility is to yourself. You deserve to have money to spend on doing what you really want in life now that you can and while you can.

Children don't remain your responsibility for life. My mum looked after me till I was in my early 20s. There was a period of neutrality. Then I've been loking after her since I was in my mid 30s. That's the natural cycle of parent-child relationships, I think!