AIBU to want to sell my house and daughter wants continue to rent it ?

I disagree this is a case of “survival”. She is helped a lot by her mum and in return she is being a dick.

The selfishness and the nasty behind the comments to her mum who has done nothing but bail her daughter out for the last six years (possibly more) is not survival. It's manipulation and anger. Why on earth is mum, now being diagnosed with cancer allowed sod all in kindness, understanding, sympathy and respect?

The daughter stuck her head in the sand for the future, she took her mum's good nature and help for granted. The daughter should've used that six year grace period to plan for the future, even if it meant putting herself on a council waiting list. She could've been in a council house by now on cheaper rent and made a nice home for her children and perfectly safe and sound. As much as some people like to feel entitled to everything from their parents, there has to come a time where being an adult people make adult decisions and look after themselves.

But who are you to judge the op for judging her own daughter, especially as you don’t know the full situation.

Yep. She chose to have her children. You do what suits you best.

I agree with the posters saying that for your younger daughter’s sake, you must sort out the house situation now or she’ll be left with a big mess to deal with.

You plan to leave the house to both your DD’s so at some point, your older DD will need to either buy her sister out or they’ll sell the house and she’ll have to find other accommodation.

Speak to a financial advisor and a solicitor to see what your options are now. If your illness is life-limiting, you need to be mindful of the seven-year IHT gift tax too.

Of course you deserve to enjoy yourself while your health permits and your older DD is being unreasonable to deny you that. There may be a way to resolve this so look into it ASAP.

Her mom offered her 15000 and she refused it.

She wants the house that she can't even afford to pay low rent on every month, much less maintain. She needs a reality check.

And yes, guilt tripping your mom with cancer who has basically supported you for 6 years for not continuing that support is selfish. Her mom has lost over £21000 by not renting her rental at the going rate.

Look into a Genuine Bargain Price mortgage. They’re not hugely common but may be appropriate in this instance.

She isn't deeply selfish at all. It isn't deeply selfish to be worried about yourself and your children being homeless. Survival is not selfish.

If you give her notice she can then apply for social housing just like her sister.

This is another excellent point. Things can get very bad very quickly. If you could put DD1 on a path to buying half the house, which I realise may be impossible, you could avoid this.

Otherwise it may be a reason to get her out now. Possibly difficult for your DGC but she is the one bringing it on them, not you, by her behaviour.

Sell the house to your daughter at 66%of its value. She will then have a great loan to value for getting a mortgage.
Take the 66% cash and divide it equally between you and your other daughter. Both daughters get their "inheritance" which you wished to leave them, and you get the cash to travel etc? Or 25% to each daughter 50% to you if you need more.
Your daughter will own and should probably take responsibility for her own bills and maintenance etc from this point but at least you're not making her homeless

Don't sell the house but charge her full rent and stop bailing her out every month, it is so unfair on her sibling. Tell her she can't miss a single month's rent or the house goes on the market. Explain that she needs to think long term as when you die the house will be sold and split between her and her sister.

If you don’t get her to leave, I think your other daughter will really struggle to get her to leave when the house is inherited between the two of them.

What is an informal arrangement and squatting?
Allowing a person exclusive use of a property and requesting rent constitutes a tenancy. That's it.

The reason I ask is that it might be difficult for you to evict her. Is she a tenant or is she squatting?

Who insures the property? There are so many legal matters that you need to address. You cannot keep ignoring your responsibilities.

Would part selling the house release enough funds for the OP to buy the downsized property and have her money that she wants to live a little with? This is what the OP wants to do, let's not forget. And I don't think the OP can get another mortgage, she gave up work through ill health if I remember right.

I would very much doubt it. It will leave her vulnerable, with nowhere to go if she and her partner ended things - all the while battling cancer. This is not a good situation to risk.

Ah ok. I missed that update post

OP has already said there's months when eldest doesn't pay the extremely low rent. She's a bad risk for nonpayment and OP knows that.

Eldest is willing to guilt trip her own mom who has cancer.

OP holding the mortgage means eldest will own the home and not pay at times because she is already doing that.

Eldest's lifestyle is not sustainable at this level. It would require completely fucking over youngest and that's unacceptable. It's also not sustainable because eldest doesn't have the resources to maintain a house. If she can't pay regular rent or buy food, how will she afford plumbing or heating or electrical major repairs?

OP offered her 15k. She can find a rental and work to improve her income.

Sell your house and do what you want. I think your plan is a good one about buying smaller and taking some cash out to travel.

I’m going to be blunt… your DD is manipulative and needs to be a grown up and stand on her own two feet. I am projecting from my personal life as my sister is your DD and my mum supported her in one way or another her entire life. Then my mum died and my sister truly fell off of the rails as a 55 yo woman who had never had navigate life on her own.

You can't get a buy to let mortgage if you're renting the house to relatives

Looking into tenant buying - not sure how it works but could be a way for you to sell it to your daughter that works for both of you

It depends on the value of the house and her full financial profile, but this is potentially a very good point.

You have Cancer. You do not need this emotional blackmail. She is an adult. You should absolutely live your life. Cancer or not.

Could your daughter not look into buying the house

I think selling either the whole house or a share of it to the daughter living in it would be the best option if she can raise a deposit and mortgage.

However if not, would some kind of equity release scheme be feasible?

You would get a payout, she could continue to live there and pay rent, and you would retain ownership of the house for the rest of your life, after which it would be sold and any proceeds distributed accordingly.