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AIBU?

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Should I accept proposal if I've never met his daughters?

482 replies

ZanySheep · 15/03/2026 08:07

We have talked about marriage although bf is still going through his divorce. 3.5 years in, we live together with my kids (they call him step dad) he's met everyone on my side we are very very happy . His ex has said to him I will never be a part of their dd's lives (19&21yrs) still I have never met them because of this . They were living together when we met. They are still married going thru divorce. I have a feeling he will propose when divorce comes through.. my question is should I say yes if I've never met his girls ? I've met his parents , some friends. They live local he sees them every week , gives them money still . He's a brilliant dad . What are everyone's thoughts ?..

OP posts:
WhatAMarvelousTune · 15/03/2026 08:16

If his ex actually said that, she sounds insane about the control she thinks she should have over who her adult DDs meet.

Thesnailonthewhale · 15/03/2026 08:15

Oh, I was expecting you to say the kids were six and nine not grown adults. Why does the mother have any say in who they meet?

Why has it taken over 3 years to get the divorce sorted?

Eenameenadeeka · 15/03/2026 08:15

How can you know that he's a brilliant Dad without having met his children?
They are old enough to decide for themselves without needing their Mums permission.
When you say they lived together when you met, do you mean they were still together??
I don't think it would be right to marry without meeting his children.

Thesnailonthewhale · 15/03/2026 08:14

Oh, I was expecting you to say the kids were six and nine not grown adults. Why does the mother have any say in who they meet?

Springisspringingnow · 15/03/2026 08:14

I would be very wary of accepting a marriage proposal from him. If indeed he ever does propose.

TheSandgroper · 15/03/2026 08:12

Don’t do it. If he isn’t strong enough to say to two adults “I have found someone really nice and I will be introducing her to you and you will be polite to her”, you will be in for a world of resentment. His ex wife is ruling your relationship with him.

Have a look on the Stepparents sub for examples. You cannot be the elephant in the room and that’s how he is treating you.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 15/03/2026 08:09

This set up is weird in general and i think you'd be crazy to marry him in these circs.

How do you know he is a brilliant dad?
What about your kids /assets if you died randomly and you ar emarried to some other guy eho automatically gets your estate....?

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