Should I accept proposal if I've never met his daughters?

Sorry but I think he does - quite a lot by the sounds of it.

If all other factors are right and you are happy, then why not? It's not essential to have any sort of relationship with his girls and if they've chosen it this way so far then it's likely they will continue like that. Even if he's not happy about it, so long as everyone is accepting of the situation I don't see the issue. There's really no need to push these blended family relationships on people if they don't want them. So long as he is free to spend time with his DDs without complaint from you, then long may it continue like this. It sounds easy and uncomplicated. Certainly easier than trying to force a relationship with two young women who resent you.

Problems will only arise when one person is dissatisfied with it and wants to insist on more. For example, if his girls get married, want their dad involved but don't include you. Some women would insist their husband makes a stand over something like that. Can't rest until they've been paraded around on his arm in front of his ex and both sides of the family and all their joint friends, as a matter of principle.

Whereas personally I think it's absolutely fine to not include a parent's new partner if it's likely to create an awkward atmosphere. They don't know you and don't want to, so why should they?

If you can choose to be absolutely fine with this, and go on with your life with their father quite happily not letting their opinions on it get to you, then everything will be fine.

I mean this guy is such a great dad that he'd rather live in his mistress home with her kids where his children won't come and see him than live independently and have a close relationship with his kids.

Kids go to uni at 17 in Scotland.
So may just be true.

Bit of a drip feed! I suspect that the daughters have no desire to meet the woman who broke up their family, or who have upset their mother. You should respect that.

Speaking as someone whose father remarried when I was an adult, don't try and think of these adult children as anything remotely reassembling stepchildren. The relationship they may have with you will be very different to that of minor children living in your home. I bear my father's wife no ill will, but I barely know her.

If that was the case why was he sofa surfing due to a lack of funds?

His daughters are 19 and 21 - if they had any interest in meeting you, it would have happened by now.
FWIW if I was them I wouldn't want to have anything to do with you either!

They weren't grown women though were they? I think once the divorce comes through you should wait for it all to settle then do it.

He slept on the floor before he met me for a year

HA HA HA HA HA. Thanks for the laugh OP 😂

If you were the OW in my parents divorce I would have nothing to do with you either. Not ever.
I dont think you can expect to play happy families in these situations.

Indeed, I'm sure the op thoughts. He was going to be married to her ex-husband until she died when she married him...

Wait, you have a joint account with a man you're not married to, whilst he's married to someone else, and going through divorce?

You know that might probably for you when the divorce comes through because it could be seen as a marital asset and you might lose money....

get his name off that account as soon as possible.

Why was the daughter making his bed up? And why on the floor?
And who was the wife hiding this evidence from?

Why would he still be married to her? I'll bet it's because she's a crazy psycho ex and won't sign the forms etc.

It's so bizarre that you believe this.

i just know we are going to be together till we die

Oh OP, so many women here believed that was true of their own marriage! Until it wasn’t.

He sounds just like Bill Clinton, "I did not have a sexual relationship with that women" 😆😆😆

Op you only have his word for everything.
This bizarre story about sleeping on the floor that is nuts.
Go meet his kids. Turn up.
In fact you do not even have proof he goes to meet his dds and is not going to meet his (an)other woman or his wife he is married to.

This is what I was thinking!

@OP are you really in your 50s? Because honestly your thought process is more akin to one of a teenager - or at least that is how it comes across from your posts.

The DDs dont want to meet you because you imploded their family life and hurt their mother. This should be obvious to any adult - much less someone who was married for over 20 years. You are a source of hurt in their lives and they don’t want to socialise with you. Simple.

Also this man you want to marry does really know to spin a tale, doesn’t he?

Ha ha… that is the oldest joke in the book!

they all say that.

hes a liar. He’s a cheat

shame on the pair of you.

@TwistedWonder "Joint bank account but he’s still married to his wife"

I feel sorry for the divorce solicitor having to unravel his financial affairs !

If it's a joint bank account, do you pay into it OP?

This.

That makes no sense. Do you seriously believe that?

This is like a wild 🐑 chase.

He was a shit dad to them. Cheating is a form of domestic abuse. Now he's replaced them with your kids. They probably hate you because you helped him blow up his home. They might never change their minds. Then there's the 21 year old that dropped out of university long before you met, 3 and 1/2 years ago. So she was in university at 15 or 16?

You'd better see a lawyer and get a loophole free will drawn up if you marry this guy and want your children to get anything if you die. He's not trustworthy, to put it mildly.

Why is the divorce taking so long? Isn't a couple of years unusual?

Need ☕

Yes definitely his BITTER wife and not a 19 and a 21 year old making the decision that they don’t want to know you…

marriages break up, people have affairs, it happens. But this was their family and they clearly don’t want to have anything to do with you and are old enough to have made that decision. Marry him if you’re sure you want to but I doubt you’re going to have a relationship with them.

Joint bank account with OP but he’s still married to his wife

Either there’s a few porkies being told or OP has been well and truly mugged off by a lying cheat looking for a nurse with a purse.

What are everyone's thoughts ?..

My thoughts are “why are you asking?”.

What is it that stops you thinking? “great, we’re going to get married“ without needing to post on here. There is something and think it will be useful to you, to identify what that is, OP.

I have read all your updates and I assume you have reservations, but I can’t pinpoint what they are.

Run as fast as your legs will carry you.

You are good enough to live with but not to meet his adult children. Raise your standards.

He is not your children’s step father as you are not married, he is still married to his wife.

If you marry him, if you predeceased him your estate would go to him, unless you have a robust will in place after the marriage.

You are living with another woman’s husband.
Whose house is it? If it is yours for goodness sake protect your assets and do not marry him, once or if they actually divorce.