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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect neighbours to stop building work by 6pm?

94 replies

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 19:40

We are in a terraced house. Neighbours are doing a some building work. They have shown us the plans and have building control approval, there will be some contractors but they are also doing a lot of parts of it themselves (they are in the trade) due to this there will be work on evenings and weekends. We have said can they let us know when they will be doing work and being considerate as our children go to bed between 6-6.30pm. They have said they will let us know when any major parts of the works start, but they won't be messaging us every time they do any work in an evening or weekend as they will be doing work at any available opportunity after work etc.
I think they should be considerate and stop working by 6pm as we have young children. They said that is too early and if they don't get back from work until then how will they ever finish the project, they did say they would be considerate and not work late maybe until 7/7.30.
Who is being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
trikonasanallama · 13/03/2026 22:15

You should stop at 6pm, as per the council rules. The fact that you're "in the trade" implies that the works are probably more involved than a simple picture hanging that DIY normally implies.

MeganM3 · 13/03/2026 22:06

I’d do it during the daytime. People want to relax in the evening & drilling / loud noise isn't nice. An odd evening for a small project is fair enough but not ongoing noise in most peoples rest hours. Still to 8-6.

categorychaos · 13/03/2026 22:03

No kids (adults now) but anytime after 6pm is unreasonable in my opinion- adults need downtime and after 10 hours working I don’t want to listen to building work.

swingingbytheseat · 13/03/2026 21:58

I think they’re being antisocial wankers. Building work should stop at 6pm

Vaxtable · 13/03/2026 21:58

You are being unreasonable. Life doesn’t stop becasue you put kids to bed between 6 and 6.30. I think it’s good of them to say they will stop between 7 and 7.30. I would imagine it will not be major stuff just normal diy stuff any household would do

harriethoyle · 13/03/2026 21:56

Adhere to the council guidelines. They’ll be clearly set out. Your finances and employment situation aren’t a reason to flout them.

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:50

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 21:39

Please show me in this thread where I have indicated working past 7pm?
I mentioned the drill as an example, we agreed we would tell them when any major work is going to start, but I cannot message them every single time we decide to pick up tools to do a job. If we are in the middle of something that wouldn't necessarily be noisy and then require the drill to unscrew something for example, I wouldn't be getting my phone out to text the neighbour first!

Then it will be on you if the relationship is bad. Your DIY is likely to be a major pain in the arse for your neighbours. How you manage it is up to you. They have to give some in this situation. But so do you. Your attitude is not boding well.

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 21:39

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:29

Your comment about getting the drill out if you want to indicates you have no consideration for your neighbours and implied you would go past 7pm if you wanted to. Dont make noise after the agreed time. If the council guidelines are not noisy work after 6pm stick to that.

Please show me in this thread where I have indicated working past 7pm?
I mentioned the drill as an example, we agreed we would tell them when any major work is going to start, but I cannot message them every single time we decide to pick up tools to do a job. If we are in the middle of something that wouldn't necessarily be noisy and then require the drill to unscrew something for example, I wouldn't be getting my phone out to text the neighbour first!

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 13/03/2026 21:35

I have never known a kid in bed by 6-6.30! Maybe 7pm would be a reasonable cutoff time.

NoYourNameChanged · 13/03/2026 21:33

Surely 6 and 7 year olds aren’t napping? They’re being very unreasonable, the occasional day of noise til 7/7:30 is hardly excessive, and I say that as someone who starts DC bedtime at 6:30 and they’re normally asleep by 7!

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:29

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 21:17

So aside from the already reasonable compromise of not working past 7pm, what else do you suggest we do?

Your comment about getting the drill out if you want to indicates you have no consideration for your neighbours and implied you would go past 7pm if you wanted to. Dont make noise after the agreed time. If the council guidelines are not noisy work after 6pm stick to that.

Boogery · 13/03/2026 21:19

I can't get past someone putting their kids to bed at 6.00-6.30. What time do they get up ?? 4 or 5 am????

I live in Spain. Our kids get out of school at 5.15 in the afternoon .
Throwing them into bed at 6.00 sounds marvellous 😂

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 21:17

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:09

ok, now you lost me. What sounds like reasonable drill noise in your house is likely to be much louder in theirs.

So aside from the already reasonable compromise of not working past 7pm, what else do you suggest we do?

OP posts:
MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:09

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 20:59

Yes I agree the bedtime is ridiculously early in my opinion but I try not to judge!
We won't be doing work every single evening or weekend, but where we can we will and I just don't feel I can message every single time we need to get the drill out for an ongoing project. I think maybe I need to speak to them again and just manage expectations and agree on a finish time and stick to it.
To clarify major works such as the steels/dormer/staircase etc will be in normal daytime hours.

ok, now you lost me. What sounds like reasonable drill noise in your house is likely to be much louder in theirs.

Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 13/03/2026 21:09

Our ndn replaced building work with a big barky bloody ddog...
Twats.

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 13/03/2026 21:07

I had a neighbour in a terraced house who was doing it up himself. He would work until 10pm and his answer if you asked him not to was he would do what he wanted to in his house. He would also regularly block access to my front door with vans bringing in supplies. I asked him to stop earlier and not block my door (you were not supposed to park on that side of the street at all) and he called me a cunt.

I get why people might need to do stuff themselves but also have seen people be utter twats in these situations.

6.30 is a bit early though? But asking them to shift noisy work like drilling to day time hours or the weekends if fair enough. Either way, you will find out if you are dealing with a reasonable but skint person, or a twat.

sweetsilence · 13/03/2026 21:06

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 20:59

Yes I agree the bedtime is ridiculously early in my opinion but I try not to judge!
We won't be doing work every single evening or weekend, but where we can we will and I just don't feel I can message every single time we need to get the drill out for an ongoing project. I think maybe I need to speak to them again and just manage expectations and agree on a finish time and stick to it.
To clarify major works such as the steels/dormer/staircase etc will be in normal daytime hours.

I suggest a schedule. Unpredictability can be hard. They can't really relax because they never know when there might be noise. At least if you tell them what days will be noise free, it will give them that.

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 21:01

morningmists · 13/03/2026 20:58

Just encourage your children to be plenty noisy in the garden first thing in the morning Grin

Some people are so selfish and unneighbourly. I'd like to see more rules around intrusive noise

Their children are always in the garden first thing, I don't mind at all, I brought a terraced house I expect noise!

OP posts:
Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 20:59

Yes I agree the bedtime is ridiculously early in my opinion but I try not to judge!
We won't be doing work every single evening or weekend, but where we can we will and I just don't feel I can message every single time we need to get the drill out for an ongoing project. I think maybe I need to speak to them again and just manage expectations and agree on a finish time and stick to it.
To clarify major works such as the steels/dormer/staircase etc will be in normal daytime hours.

OP posts:
morningmists · 13/03/2026 20:58

Just encourage your children to be plenty noisy in the garden first thing in the morning Grin

Some people are so selfish and unneighbourly. I'd like to see more rules around intrusive noise

BruFord · 13/03/2026 20:56

I agree with others that 6 &7 year olds don’t really go to bed at 6/6:30, I assumed they were babies/toddlers!

Doggymummar · 13/03/2026 20:56

Pinkroom · 13/03/2026 20:50

Our council is the same, but this is not constant work. It won't be every single evening and weekends, but where we can we will have too to get it finished. The hours mentioned above we are generally at work so going off that would never be able to do any DIY!

Yeah we are using annual leave to do ours. Luckily one neighbour has told us she is deaf and the one we are joined to said do what you need to do we are just glad your not getting builders in!

sweetsilence · 13/03/2026 20:52

I think up to 8pm is reasonable. Can you maybe do it every second night, so the neighbours get a break? Or choose 3/4 nights a week and let the neighbours know the nights and when it will stop, how long the works are expected to last? At least then they know what to expect. That can make it easier.

fashionqueen0123 · 13/03/2026 20:52

DIY after 6/7 yes but not drilling etc and major works I think you need to stick to council rules.

But 6 year olds don’t go to bed at 6pm or nap!

Kizmet1 · 13/03/2026 20:51

Oh! I missed the reverse bit @Pinkroom
Okay, well then I think they are being a bit unreasonable and your compromise is fair, maybe you could also only do noisy work on Saturday and give all of you a rest of the loud stuff (hammering, drilling etc) on Sundays, but overall do try to remember that you're getting something at the end of the disturbance. They're not. For them it's just a noisy nuisance with no lovely loft room at the end.

I hope it all goes well and your teens love their new room.