Conflicted after DS hit DD and she fought back and beat him up?

And this is a prime example.

Nip this is the bud now before your son gets much stronger and batters hell out of his sister. The teenage years are not far away.

Rolls eyes hard.

But it's ok that his sister battered him? Perhaps the answer should be violence isn't acceptable full stop.

That's exactly what a lot of posters are saying - i.e. he's a violent misogynist that can't handle losing to a girl and he got his just desserts.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I tell my daughter that if any little scrote in school hits her (which has happened and telling the teacher did bugger all) that she is to hit him back as hard as she can, preferably in the balls. I’ve told the school that I will not accept her being in trouble if she has to defend herself in future.
It’s time to hammer home to your mini Andrew Tate that hitting girls is unacceptable. I hope he’s learned a lesson.

also, do we think that if the son had beaten the daughter up so she couldn’t walk and was covered in cuts and bruises that the responses would be “tell them both off” or “she deserved it”

of course they fucking wouldnt

awful behaviour from her and the op being proud of it is just shocking

Is it possible that some of the cuts and bruises he got were from the game and he had been hurt in the game and he hit/pushed for them to stop and then sister hit him back harder.

If OP has encouraged/ignored play fighting in the past then did her son just hit DD in the same way they normally do in play fighting and she hit back but in a stronger way.

They are both too old to be playing ‘games’ like this.

If it was a strength competition then you need to be similar strength and size (and gender). And they are getting to the age where, as they could hurt someone or themselves, they need to be doing it in a regulated way in a regulated place ie martial arts. Martial arts teach you there is a time and a place.

Absolutely this

there are some shocking responses on this thread, taking delight in someone beating up someone else jus because “he deserved it”

Not sure that's what people are saying tbh

Thats exactly why I misread it, I thought it was about burpees or something.

“strength competitions” like who can get who on the ground first

I completely misread that as who can get on the ground first.😊

Agree with this. This was a powder keg ready to go off.

Cancelling his birthday is too harsh.
I would see what you can do to repair the relationship

Absolutely this, I can’t believe what I’m reading, is this the world we live in where a child can beat up a sibling and the mother is proud of the bully.

He was beaten so badly that he struggled to walk and has cuts and bruises.

I'd be worried about internal injuries to be honest.

The OP is completely negligient in so many ways and being proud of physical violence in the home- words fail me.

I misread it initially so Im giving other posters the benefit of the doubt that they might also have misread it, but its a 'strength game' which involves who can push who to the ground first

So wrestling each other to the ground

The boy is weaker so will lose each time

Apparently thats his fault if he plays the game

Sounds like the 2 girls were wrestling him to the ground, the girl sounds thuggish to me and I suspect he lashed out in self defence, to be met with more violence

But this site is so anti male, it really doesnt matter that this child was subject to that, he's male and so is therefore some sort of violent perpetrator.

Girl power!!!

It doesn't sound like he's learned any lesson except be bigger and stronger and - especially in the context of the manosphere stuff - you need to be very very careful. You don't fix whatever is going on with him with punishment, especially not cancelling a birthday treat. You need to avoid doing anything that would feed him feeling picked on for being a boy. That's from his perspective not a logical one.

As a side note, my (younger) sister was extremely violent to me for years. To the extent that we couldn't be left alone and much of our teen years were spent in separate homes. The last beating I remember she dragged me round the house and hit me repeatedly. She was inches taller than me and stronger. And yet, I never needed to be carried anywhere when it stopped. I was never covered head to toe in bruises.

I think you need to think again about what your daughter did. That was beyond escalation.

Tbh I think the most concerning thing here is that your 9yo has access to a phone.
sounds like your son is struggling with managing emotions and your daughter has really hurt him

So she beat him up- and he gets his birthday cinema booked? Why are you punishing him for her behaviour?

You feel proud that your daughter beat up your son -staggering.

I can’t remember at what age but I distinctly remember a time when I switched to zero tolerance of violence frok my sons towards me. That included play fighting. It was just a no. It was probably around this age and definitely well before they were stronger than me.

If they were younger I’d be more fine with this and a certain element of learning boundaries but at this age they are both old enough to understand that it’s not acceptable

other people have made some great suggestions, but in the long term I would be taking both to some martial arts club. So they both learn some self control.

It sounds like more has been happening that you know about if your daughter reacted like that. Unless you think she has extreme anger issues and beats up her brother to the extent he couldn’t walk because he hit her once then more has been going on and she has snapped.

You have a very strange attitude to violence. The rough housing was inappropriate. Him hitting g her was wrong. Her beating him so badly he has bruises and cuts is wrong.

But clearly they have got the message from.you that being competitive and physical wjth each other is normal. I am sorry to say that I would not be surprised if they have issues at school.

Most posters are willfully ignoring the lead up to this which is that the 2 girls were pushing him onto and into the floor

Is that what the game was?

I didn't get that understanding of it.

I doubt Op will be back to clarify!