Conflicted after DS hit DD and she fought back and beat him up?

be interesting if school asks DS where he got his injuries and he says his sibling did it and his parents allowed it with no consequences

I can’t even imagine the kind of person that gets this excited over child on child violence.

You being conflicted is problematic, they were both very wrong. Self defence is one thing but it turned to an assault quickly because she chose to use her physical strength advantage to harm her brother physically.

He let his jealousy and insecurities get the better of him which he used as permission to assault his sister.

You and your H should have worked harder to address your son’s jealousy and temperament. Oh and if your daughter is the type to go to school bragging about assaulting her brother, then you as a parent have a lot of work to do on the parenting front.

They were both wrong and both need to be disciplined and taught that their behaviours are unacceptable. There were ways they both could have managed the situation better, you were lucky that your DN was there and alerted you to what was happening.

Greyblankie · Today 10:33
"Fuck around and find Biatch!
Did she say this to him OP? Please say yes "

It's so disheartening that many of the women on this thread sound as immature as the OP and her children.

With utmost glee.

These are children.

It wasn’t me that said FAFO … I just added to it

You said you saw her beating him (as in hitting him). And in the game of strength of pushing him down on the ground she was winning. So she was using her strength to over power him. The thing we berate men for, using their strength to over power women or weaker men.

Beating someone up is not self defence

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Obviously I’ve told them that hitting isn’t acceptable, but if I’m being completely honest I also felt proud that she’s confident and doesn’t back down. At the same time I know DS is feeling humiliated by being beaten up by his younger sister and that DN will spread it to the rest of the family. However this would help him learn his lesson!
Read your choice of words again.... She injured him... you call this confidence. He is physically hurt, with marks that constitutes battery... and you speak of humiliation. You don't mention anything about providing medical help and comfort... you talk about him getting further humiliated, him learning a lesson and being further punished by taking away his birthday fun.

You do realise that this would be considered potential abuse by social services, ceetsinly enough to be investigated. Your son might tell his teacher who would make a referral. When SS knocks on your door, should anyone rejoice in your feeling of humiliation and hope you've learned your lesson?

Fuck around and find Biatch!

Did she say this to him OP? Please say yes …

I wouldn’t be proud of her for beating the shit out of him, no. You want her to be assertive and stand up for herself, but she also needs to learn that with power comes responsibility; you don’t abuse your physical advantage over others, even if they are male. Get her into some martial arts training so she can learn to control herself before she seriously injures someone.

Most sibling fights are a bit of pinching or a single slap or push It sounds like she went way too far. But he started it. So address it differently for each, but don't condone either's actions.
I used to beat up my elder brother - he hit puberty later than me and was a bit of a weakling when we were 10 (me) and 12 (him). Scroll forward a few years and he was a multiple Olympic medal winning power house so I don't think he carries any lasting resentment.

No, if DD has no consequences for her actions then all DS will be learning is that might is right. He'll learn that if some day a girlfriend hits him in frustration, it's ok to beat her to the floor in response. After all he'd be "defending" himself
Exactly that. It's horrifying that you are using your own children to push a societal agenda about women's power. Your children should be equal in your eyes. They should be raised with the same values.

Cant you see you are doing exactly the same than what women have been trying to fight for years, men using their strength to overpower women?

Young women are becoming bigger and stronger to the point that many can now overpower men. Does this give them to right to use their strength to batter men?

How can you be so absorbed in your ideology that you can't consider for a second how outraged you would have been if it had been the other way around, and it your daughter who'd been brutally taly attered by your son because she hit him.

You are a disgrace to feel proud of your violent daughter and I am gobsmacked your husband could agree with you, unless your daughter is taking after her mum.

You are so right, it’s horrifying really how many adults are projecting onto two young siblings.

Sibling rivalry is a thing regardless of gender. The parents should be managing it not letting them hurt eachother.

Staggering really.

Having been on the receiving end of that sort of treatment from my exH

Your post is a good example of why people really need to try and heal their own wounds before having children.

This is not a domestic violence situation. These are children.

Sibling rivalry in children is extremely common. Siblings hitting each other as children, whilst undesirable, is extremely common.

The sex of the siblings is irrelevant - the dynamics are the same regardless.

What is not extremely common though, is one sibling beating the other so badly that their injuries are visible and they are unable to walk after the attack.

The amount of adults cheering on the kind of violence exhibited by the OP’s daughter is absolutely unhinged.

No, if DD has no consequences for her actions then all DS will be learning is that might is right. He'll learn that if some day a girlfriend hits him in frustration, it's ok to beat her to the floor in response. After all he'd be "defending" himself.

@Silvertulips it reads like he was useful in their game as he could be thrown to the ground more as he isn't as strong as them. Obviously, they should not have been playing that game as it was likely to end up with someone being hurt, either accidentally or on purpose

The whole point is that as parents it's our job to help our children learn how to interact with the world. It's not a shock that children misbehave, but that misbehaviour should come with consequences and explanations for why it's not ok.

It sounds the daughter has anger management issues too, if she beat him so badly he couldn’t walk. And as for “she did nothing wrong” ..words fail me.

I'm sure there's an element of 'boys will be boys haha' & I've no time for that at all - I don't doubt it's the root cause of violent adult men.

We never allowed 'rough play', I even banned 'jinx' & tea-towel whips (we work/ed in kitchens). The other day the younger two said something at the same time & laughed saying 'mum, jinx still banned?' - yes, always lol.

You & I shouldn't be unusual, it's crazy.

My brother, who is 14 months older, was very competitive. When we were primary school age he absolutely hated it when I beat him, and would sulk and sometimes push me but we never had actual punch ups. The competitiveness stopped when we both went to different secondary school. As teenagers we became close and have remained so.

I think you need to allow DD to have friends round without him interfering - He should have a friend at the same time to hang out with -

He shouldn’t be in their games!

My brother and I used to fight something silly. Sometimes he'd get beaten up by me, sometimes I ended up worse.

We grew out of it with no involvement from parents. Kids don't fight anymore, they're just a bunch of weirdos with no self preservation

Well I suppose it's always good to know there are families out there more messed up than mine 😬