Conflicted after DS hit DD and she fought back and beat him up?

If she was winning the games, many based on strength, wasn't she picking on him? Oh but that's ok because she's a female.

The mumsnet feminazis are out in force!

Unless OPs daughter broke both of his legs & his back then I highly doubt he couldn’t walk. I think he was probably utterly shocked.

Like I said, I’d talk to OPs daughter about proportionality but this was self defence.

No they weren't but frankly the message that violence is never ok unless it's female on male isn't one we should be sending.

Im interested to know what she was using to beat him so badly, her hands, fists, a weapon, her feet, was he on the floor and her on top of him, how was this actually happening

She sounds like a violent little thug.

Exactly… the ‘what-about-er-ists’ are out in full force. If anybody stronger (be it age, sex, etc) picks on somebody else it isn’t fair.

He couldn’t walk and I think that’s a problem. I think others are right to point out that self defence shouldnt be disproportionate.

Asking for it, provoked her, deserved it.

Can anyone imagine this being said about an 11 year old girl being attacked by her 9 year old sibling? These are not adults in an abusive relationship, these are children. If she is being pushed to this limit by her older sibling, if it comes after a pattern of him being deliberately cruel to her, why the hell hasn’t an adult stepped in and put a stop to it long before now?

If it was her exerting her dominance over him because she was pissed off that he hit her, why is it acceptable for an adult to cheer her on and be proud?

Both of these children have an anger problem and this needs to be dealt with. After a stern talking to about how it is not acceptable to use violence, except in life threatening situations, the parents need to look at how they are allowing their children to exhibit these traits and work with them to turn things around. This is a toxic situation for all involved.

Anyone cheering her on because “he shouldn’t have hit a girl” when she has retaliated with a massively inappropriate response that quite badly injured her brother, needs to have a word with themselves.

I would put a strict 'keep hands to self' rule in place. Like others I grew up in a violent household, where my siblings and I would beat each other up. We have zero relationship as adults.

But they weren’t were they.

Wow this is completely mad. They should not have been playing the game in the first place . Of course it was going to be humiliating for him. Especially if your dd and dn are quite bad winners. They are to old to be play fighting.
He should never have hit but then her reaction sounds way overboard.

All you have taught any of them is how to hurt and humilate each other .

So what do we teach OPs daughter to do? Take it?

I actually reckon this will be a very good life lesson for OPs son.

She needs to learn defending yourself doesn't mean beating someone up so badly that they can't walk.

My brother and I fought like cat and dog when we were young. Nothing unusual in ‘play fighting’ and it can easily get out of hand.

I’m also team DD. Well done her. She’s hardly likely to randomly set about someone at school is she?

Agree with others that this needs careful handling with your son.

This.

if she punched him back - fair play.

Bit beating him black and blue is not self defence it’s assault.

And if she’d hit him and he’d beaten her in retaliation you wouldn’t be questioning your stance.

And if a bigger male attacks you, what do you do? Use your calm words? Just simply take it? Put on a podcast about feelings? No. You fight back.

These comments are absolutely unbelievable. No one would be condoning this if the genders were reversed.

Although, the problem is that he’s likely to shoot up in the next year or two and if this dynamic continues, a horrifying conclusion could result.

How disgusting! Why are you proud of this?
Beaten with cuts and bruises? That is WAY too far for self defence from and he shouldn't be hitting his sister.
They should both be disciplined and you need to make sure they never ever lay hands on each other again

Potential referral to social services going on the way @ForAmpleRobin describes the injuries. Safeguarding referral is possible.

You’re proud of her? Fuck me. Both your kids have grown up to believe violence is an ok solution to disagreements. This is not an ok situation.

I am very aware of the world we live in so I know if this little girl tried the same thing on someone else, she could end up seriously hurt.

Sometimes it's best to walk away and find an adult before things get out of hand.

tbf it may be about his little sister being better than him, rather than girls full stop. Siblings are competitive and it can come as a big shock to the eldest when the youngest can suddenly do things better. I remember my eldest being a really magnanimous winner when he beat his little brother at whatever game they were playing but when little brother grew up and started winning in his own right - well it turned out he was a rotten loser (for a while).

I get that siblings fight but it's really worrying that he was left covered in cuts and bruises. Is violence something that you've grown up around yourself because it's very concerning that you see this as normal. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but if your DNs parents have any sense they won't send him or her back unsupervised.

And no, don’t cancel your sons birthday - that’s a horrible thing to do.