Conflicted after DS hit DD and she fought back and beat him up?

@ForAmpleRobingoing to come back and update the thread? Taken on board any of the comments? Or just fucked off after stirring the pot?

A good parent would have nipped the 'strength competitions' in the bud before it escalated to its obvious conclusion. I think being beaten black and blue is probably sufficient punishment for ds and taught him a valuable lesson. Cancelling his upcoming birthday is way over the top.

DD is clearly a hero and should be praised for defending herself so robustly against a male, even though she is stronger than him and bear him to a pulp in the name of self defence. According to the op and half the other posters on this thread anyway. Nobody should be hitting anyone, but it appears to be sociably acceptable for a woman to hit a man.

DD is the one who needs a punishment, and as much as anything ds needs to see that dd is being punished, otherwise the lesson is that the stronger aggressor gets away with it. One day that'll be him at this rate.

I think they're being a bit dramatic and thinking someone is farming the more aggressive responses to post on some tiktok or YouTube videos.

Although I agree something about this thread doesn't add up

What’s dangerous is it normalises it. It’s telling someone out there it’s ok for one dc to cause physical injuries to another while you turn the other cheek and you can send them to their room or confiscate their phone. Yes it’s likely a wind up. Why the hell are Mumsnet still running it?

Yep it’s quite concerning. Some sound positively gleeful at the violence. Horrible.

Yup. I fell for this one hook line and sinker. It's an obvious wind up and should be deleted.

Reminder to question EVERYTHING we read online.

She can’t know who started it. It’s hearsay. But if you condone your dc being physically injured in your home you are a disgusting, inadequate parent. And yes I did report it last night. I’m actually disgusted this thread is still running. Mumsnet has gone to the dogs. That dc needs child protection.

Your DS was in the wrong for hitting her first. Your DD is in the wrong for retaliating and it went too far. They both need a consequence over the next few days/ as soon as possible. I would not cancel a birthday treat for him.

I imagine a few people have reported it to mnhq. I am not sure what you mean, though @Minamonamoo , generate content where?

Honestly your family sound insufferable. Family aren't direct competition why do you kids feel that way?

This is neither harmless nor play fighting

Firstly why does a 9 yr old have a phone?

Secondly I grew up as 1 of 5 siblings in the 80s and we fought plenty and gave each other the odd kick. Punch, I got a bloody nose once etc etc. but I'm pretty horrified by your attitude here. Kids hitting is fine, one beating the other badly is really off and your apparent preference is really obvious

You actually sound a terrible parent. If I heard someone say what you have typed on here I would be calling social services.

The thread title is deliberately goading people. OPs responses don't sound like that of a parent and if they are and this is all true both the DD and DS need social services and safeguarding asap.

That's not to mention that the entire scenario feels suspicious. There's a big difference between 11 and 9 and I find it difficult to believe a 9yr old of any gender would be able to beat an apparently jealous and angry 11yr old boy to the point they can't walk which suggest they suffered significant injury.

Just think for a second and it doesn't make sense, if you're beaten to the point of having to be carried and can't walk (I have been) you'll be in need of immediate medical attention.

She won and he won't be trying it twice
He might, when he is bigger than he sister and certain that she's the one with cuts and bruises.

I just can't understand any mother happy for an INJURED child. Being hit is not nice and might hurt a bit, but cuts and bruises are serious injuries that are painful for days. Horrible to think that a mum's response is glee at what happened and wanting to punish further rather than wanting to comfort.

Why children hit. Rather than studies on rats, try looking at children!

: Is there always a reason kids hit?
A: Nothing just happens! Not all kids hit for the same reasons, but it is typically a learned behavior. Here are a few common reasons kids may hit:
1. They don’t yet know how to communicate their feelings. When children are upset, but are still working on how to use their words to say what their feeling, this frustration can sometimes lead to hitting.
2. It’s a means to get what they want. Your child may simply see hitting as a means to an end. For example, if your child’s sibling, friend or classmate has a toy they want and your child physically obtains the toy by hitting or grabbing, they have learned a lesson. They hit or behaved aggressively and got what they wanted!
3. They’ve seen hitting modeled by others. If your child sees someone hit or display other aggressive behaviors as a response to frustration or anger, the child learns that’s how those situations or feelings are handled"

@ForAmpleRobin any of these apply to.your 2 children? Why do they hit?

They looked at rats fighting!

"Obviously, experimentally manipulating childhood experiences to test for the effects of play is not possible. Thus, the strongest experimental evidence comes from studies of laboratory rodents, especially rats; however, there is mounting evidence from studies of children that is consistent with the findings on rodents.

Play and the laboratory rat"

I don't think that necessarily means they're a ragebaiter. It might just mean they didn't like the way the thread was going.

Wow. I actually cannot believe what I'm reading. That is horrifying behaviour from both your children but especially your daughter. And the comments saying well done?! What an earth do you think his school will say when they see him? It's assault. If your dd were 10 she could be arrested. Your kids need help and so do you if you think any of that is in anyway acceptable. What a fucking mess. Expect a Safeguarding referral.

Me too!

Not to mention we are several pages in and OP has disappeared.

You need to do something about their fighting or someone will get properly hurt when they’re bigger. Mine have never got physical like that, and the eldest is 19. I don’t think it’s normal from my friend’ experiences either.

Why is no one picking up that this thread feels like bait.

Everything OP has posted seems to be geared towards generating a very specific response. I would be careful with what some of you are posting I get the feeling this is being used to generate "content" elsewhere.

Jesus what the fuck is going on. They both behaved appallingly. Totally get the need to defend herself but to beat him up until he needed to be carried? Absolutely out of order. No one has come out of this smelling of roses and OP - you sound as if you are almost happy your daughter is able to beat your son up because she can now protect herself. They both need punishing.

I wonder if @ForAmpleRobin will be back