Hi. I’m really struggling with boundaries with my mother at the moment and the whole situation is getting me down. My brother lives with my parents and nephew spends weekends there (brother split from partner 6 years ago). They live just over an hour away. I take my kids to visit every fortnight or so. Parents come here about twice a year. They said when they moved down there they’d visit of course. All they seem to do is visit the town I live in and then tell us after the event! Brother and nephew come to the town we live in weekly but never suggest meeting up.
When I speak to DM, all she talks about is my nephew. They’ve been to watch him play sports, they all went out for a meal together, she bought him this, he’s done that - on and on and on. Whatever my kids do, he’s done it with bells on. And increasingly she’s doing it in front of my kids. They’ve never even stayed at their GPs for the night - he has his own bedroom. Last weekend when I visited he demanded to know why I’d parked in their parking space. On previous visits he’s called me fat and a cow. And EVERYONE JUST LAUGHS (if I hear my brother say “mate” one more time).
Tuesday morning I get a call from DM first thing. I assume my dad is ill again because she rarely calls. She says she was just calling to see how we all were. Then after 10 minutes complaining about various things, she drops in how my brother had called in sick at school for my nephew the previous day so they all could go for a family meal together 🤯 Some friends had come down to see them. Same friends had contacted me weeks ago to say they were coming. My response was lovely - be lovely to see you as we met up the other year.
I am now in the dog house for saying I had to go because I was fed up of hearing about all these things. Do them, by all means - but keep telling me about things we’ve been excluded from is just rubbing my nose in it. It later transpired the real reason she’d called was to forewarn me before the friends posted pictures of their get together all over Facebook.
Now, radio silence. I will be expected to apologise, particularly with Mother’s Day coming up. I can’t and I won’t. It’s one thing rubbing my nose in it but my kids are picking up on it more and more. I’m absolutely fucking livid.