I have a very close friend who I used to see more of when I was more helpful to her. Her husband used to work a lot of weekends. I’m a single mum and when her husband was working on my childfree weekend she’d invite me out to spend the day together. Obviously it was nice to see her and the kids but I did end up helping with the kids a bit, which is fine and what I expect but I got the sense she’d only invite me then when she wanted help.
We used to do more “adult” get togethers like go out for meals in the evening sometimes but she very rarely is up for that now. She never ever comes to my house, always invites me there because it’s easier with the kids which I do get. Soon enough it became that she’d invite me out somewhere on my only childfree day to spend the day with them and that’s the only time I’d get to see her. I have started becoming less available. I don’t want to spend my rare child free time with her kids as much as I love them. She obviously wants to meet without my kids, and before anyone asks my kids are very kind to hers but there is a bit of an age gap, so have little in common. They get on fine when we are out somewhere. As a result she very very rarely sees my kids now whereas her kids know me pretty well, last time I saw them her eldest gave me a lovely card saying “cadburyegg I love you so much”. If i invite her somewhere in the evening like out for dinner she declines because she says she can’t go anywhere until her kids are in bed. She has a very hands on present husband.
I am just not sure what to do, I feel run ragged as it is and I just find that she is not willing to meet me halfway. I’ve had another invite for a meet at hers today hence posting this now.