Proposed to him and he said no

Maybe not, but you at least have a conversation about it. What is it that is holding you back, when will be the right time (finishing exams, promotion, buying first house, etc)?
He just waved her away with a "needed time to think". How romantic.

Crikey, brutal but honest of your oh.

So, you are the place holder girlfriend. You need to understand he doesn’t see you as the one. Only you can decide if you are prepared to accept that and continue dating him.

You know where you stand now and cam make your decision wherther to stay or go.
On the other hand I wouldn't take to kindly to someone putting me on the spot and saying engagement or I walk, I would wave them off personally.

He said he needed more time and needed to be fully sure about it.

He already said no.. The "needing more time" is always an excuse. He was comfortable, knew you wouldn't go anywhere, that you are sincere, so no need to do anything.

There's no such thing as needing more time.

Now you have a honest answer. He's not wrong, he has a right to feel what he feels and not want to be more invested in the relationship, but if it's not enough for you, then he's not the right man for you.

It's very sad, but it's up to you - stay with him until he finds someone better or just in a no-mans-land because he's not interested in any commitment (nothing wrong with that), or move on.

You gave him 4 months after the original discussion, so I think your proposal was hardly a surprise. Where do you go from here, how much time does he need?

Good for you for proposing and I get that it's painful but at least you know. He can't string you along any more now because you know it's not going to happen so you can move on and stop wasting your time on him if marriage is important to you. Good luck OP.

Move on 👍

Cut your losses and move on, if it took him 7 years to ask the ex to marry him (did they ever get married?) and he's said no to you after 2 years... I'm afraid he's wasting your time, it's better you find out now although it might not feel like that right now.

How old are you OP? Unless you are mid-late 30s, want kids but also want to be married first, I would say that you need to cool things off and give your boyfriend a bit more time. If you are in your twenties and you are convinced that this is the man for you, then two years is quite a short time and you can afford to wait.

Two years is plenty of time. You've got your answer, so it's your decision if you stay in the relationship or not.

about 4 months ago I spoke to him again about marriage and told him how important it was to me and how I felt now was the right time for us. He said he needed more time and needed to be fully sure about it. So last night I proposed properly to him and he said no.

And you're surprised? 😳

If you don't want to stay together unmarried, you're going to have to leave him. He's taking that risk... Maybe after you've left he will realise that he can't be without you, and have a proper conversation about why he's so reluctant to marry.
Your ages are very relevant here, also whether you want children. If you are in your early twenties, I'd agree with him that it's early and it makes sense to live together a few more years before committing. If you are in your thirties, not so much.

Even if he comes back tomorrow and asks you, you mustn’t marry this man

I wouldn't agree to marry someone after less than two years together either, no matter how much I loved them. You sound very intense to me.

No one is being unreasonable here, you have different wants. Whether he would come round in time or not is irrelevant if you are ready for the next step and he won't consider it.

IMO you did the right thing in forcing the issue since it's important to you. You know where you stand and much as it hurts now, you can move forward.

A former friend of mine proposed to her then boyfriend after just three months. He said no, it's far too soon. She asked again just two months later. He again said no, it was too soon and they hadn't even tried living together. He agreed to move in but didn't sell his flat or rent it out. Within two weeks she was proposing again and said if he said no this time she would end the relationship as "the fact that you haven't put your flat on the market says you're not serious". Red flag and he left.

She had already had a failed marriage that lasted two months!

I don't think two years is necessarily too soon but having already sounded him out just a couple of months earlier you can't really have expected a different answer so soon after? It would red flag me, personally.

I dont agree with this. You may well be his "one" but he doesn't want to rush into marriage.

Agree.

Except this one is stringing " the next woman who comes along" as well.

I get that some people move quickly in relationships but less than 2 years would be too soon for me for sure. Whats the rush? I feel like you sound young. He already told you he needed more time but you didnt want to give him that.

Surely you have another conversation before you spring a whole proposal on him though? Four months is not a lot of time, in my view.

Good for you for taking control and forcing the issue.

You know he is a ditherer, now you have to decide whether you're going to waste any more time on him.

He sounds like a future faker to me, having strung his ex along for seven years and then not actually making it to the altar.

Also, I think a lot of this depends on how old you are. DH and I had both been married before when we got together, I was late 30s, he was mid 40s. And we just knew. 20 years on, we were obviously right! But if you're a lot younger, than 2 years is possibly a bit soon to know?

He’s wasting your time - he doesn’t want marriage with you.

If he did he’d have says what his doubts were, how much time he needed, etc.

He doesn’t see you as a forever partner.

You're not his One.

OP - was it a clear 'no' or more of a 'not right now'?