To let my daughter have a seat?

Yanbu. And as for people saying just put her on your lap, it’s not always that simple. My DD has Autism and her sitting on my knee is not an option. My older children would have sat on my knee and yes I would have popped them on my knee if I felt it was necessary and if the person asked nicely and used their manners so maybe not in this man’s case. But not my DD - her disability affects her ability to understand certain things and I won’t put her under any distress. It’s her seat and she wants to sit on it.

If it was someone who needed seat, sure, but not some ablebodied guy! Esp if he was nasty about it.

Put her on your lap. I think it’s dangerous for children to stand on most public transport, but equally 5 is small enough for a lap.

I used to catch a Northern Line train at roughly the same time every day with a mother and 6/7 year old. It was incredible how few times the child was offered a seat even though he was so unsteady and bashing into people and somehow ALWAYS in front of the door. If I ever managed to get a seat, I’d wave them over. I probably seemed kind but I actually found the child annoying not in a seat! 😅

He’s being entitled. On a packed rush hour train I will sometimes give my seat to a youngster if I can tell they will or are struggling. I’ve never had a parent object. However I’ve also failed to give up my seat to someone who looks like they need it until I feel able and that might mean nearing the end of my journey as my own condition can sometimes be bad and I would be struggling myself. I don’t think anyone should feel entitled.

I think you should give up your seat for someone who needs it more. A 5 year old child certainly needs a seat more than a young man. Kids don't have great balance and are often too small to hold on properly anyway. If he had a reason why he couldn't stand he should have said so rather than make nonsense rules like kids need to stand up for adults. If I'm travelling with my kids and I see someone who needs a seat I either put one of the kids on my lap or offer them my seat.

I remember when i was a child lots of adults offered me their seat or sometimes they offered for me to sit on their lap. I usually didn't accept but it was nice of them to offer.

What are the terms and conditions of the ticket? Usually if its a child's fare it doesn't entitle them Tom seat if adults are standing.

Why is an adult’s comfort more important than a child’s? The child was there first. No way I’d get my child to get up for an able-bodied adult. I’d have put her on my lap if he was polite but if he was rude like OP says she’d be staying in her seat, party cos I wouldn’t want him anywhere near me.

All this ‘respect your elders’ crap is a load of bollocks. Respect everyone until they give you a reason not to. This man did nothing to deserve any respect. You realise that this whole attitude that children must always respect adults, has contributed to many children staying quiet about child abuse.

On the tube in London, adults regularly give up their seats for young children.

YABU your daughter should have sat on your knee.

OP wrote this guy was having a tantrum, though. Not inaudibly rolling his eyes.

You acted appropriately, Op.
If an older, pregnant or sickly person were to have needed the seat, I would have left DD seated safely while I stood.

If payment of full fare is key here, should we make all pensioners stand on public transport?

Sounds pretty typical to me.

On busy trains, I fold my sons wheelchair so people who get on after that just see a healthy looking 10 year old sat down and several times someone has asked him to stand for them. It is almost always a man, the most recent example was a man who actually rolled his eyes when I explained the wheelchair belongs to him so he needs to sit down after he demanded my son stand up for him. Others usually simply ignore what is going on.

That's madness. Most men I know at that age would give up their seat for a kid! He sounds ridiculous. Its not like he's an elderly person

And no one else on this packed tram got involved or told him to leave you alone while he had a 'tantrum' at you about this? Weird.

Yes, being elderly or disabled is part of the blanket issue of who needs the seat most. Who has paid the most is a different issue, I agree. I would argue that the question of whether a five year old should get a seat belongs to the former issue, not the latter.

I'd rather small kids were sat. But if have sat her on my knee. Back in the day decades ago I'd have let them have a seat and I'd have stood next them but people are more self absorbed now.

Not really.

My 67 year old mum is more capable of standing up on and navigating balance on a bus than my 5 year old is.

Vulnerable people can have a seat on the bus regardless of whether they paid a fare. Anyone else is first come first serve. No reason op should have given up her seat for that guy.

That's a good point.
But actually I still think if only 1 ticket has been paid for then 1 seat should be used if it's busy.
Elderly or disabled is a different subject really

Does that apply to elderly people who don't pay?

Why should the OP stand so a able bodied man whos just moaning could have a seat? They are both equally entitled to that seat. She was there first.

No she shouldn't, if they allow her on for free that that's down to the buisness, take it up with them if you dont like their policy but everyone on there free or paying is entitled to a seat if one is available.

Why couldn't you stand? I always prioritised my kids sitting instead of me.
I didn't like then on my lap at that age as it hurt my stomach and IBS. I was happy to stand.

There's no need to keep telling me why a child needs a seat. I've never disputed that, so it's a straw man. I'm saying that where the parent pays for one seat, it's good manners not to take up two when it's so busy other paying adults are standing.
People with concessionary travel due to age or disability would typically, like a young child, have greater need for a seat, so no, they wouldn't be expected to stand.
We're clearly not going to agree on this as we obviously have different ideas of consideration for others. I'm coming at this from what I did as a parent to be considerate of other passengers, because expecting a random person to stand while I took two seats for me and my child while only paying for one didn't feel polite to me.