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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister keeps criticising me for travelling

137 replies

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:23

I’m 27, and live alone in a rented flat. I have a decent salary and get by pretty happily on my own.

My sister is 31, and her and her husband have 2 sons under 3. Since the youngest was born, they’ve probably been abroad once a month. A lot of the time, they got out the children. This started when the youngest was about 5 months old.

I was at their house a couple of weeks ago and they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage. I have been abroad once this year and have three more holidays planned.

My sister has now responded to a close friends instagram story I posted with a countdown to my next trip and said it all seems really excessive and I shouldn’t be going away like I am. I pay for it all outright, don’t use delayed payments, pay in three or credit cards etc.

AIBU to snap back and ask why she cares so much when she’s leaving her kids once a month to go abroad? They’re always with my brother in law’s parents when they go, and I’m pretty fed up of the hypocritical criticism from them when they do the same, if not worse!

OP posts:
whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 19:19

The only thing I can think of is that there’s a lot of judgment in the wider family for how much they travel. So she’s trying to divert to me.

OP posts:
Diosmonet · 08/03/2026 19:18

Doesn't sound like you particularly like each other.

I wouldn't give it much more thought. I might hide her from seeing my stories though.

honeyfox · 08/03/2026 19:15

She's away once a month?!

Slebs · 08/03/2026 19:12

"You don't mention my life choices and I won't mention yours". With a wink.

Sassylovesbooks · 08/03/2026 19:10

I think next time your sister comments on your travelling, I'd say 'You can hardly talk, you go abroad more often than me' and 'Don't worry about me buying my own home, I have a long-term plan'. I would have said that your sister is jealous of the travelling you do, but as she does travel often, it's likely not that. It might be she's envious of the fact you have no committments, so are more free than she is. You're 27, with no children or boyfriend/husband, if you can't travel now, then when should you??!! Make the most of the time when you don't have committments, and travel as much as possible!! You aren't responsible for the choices your sister has made in her life, no more than she's responsible for yours.

damelza · 08/03/2026 19:09

Smile, nod, change the subject and don't engage. A big sign saying "over 18, financially secure, no kids, will travel" Might be needed now and then!

Ffmd · 08/03/2026 19:09

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 19:04

No childcare or anything. I don’t see how she can be jealous, she willingly goes away about every four weeks to amazing destinations. If she spends time worrying, she could just stay home surely?

I travel a bit, DBro also travels. We exchange pictures of our holidays and say what we enjoyed. Surely that's how it should be?

outerspacepotato · 08/03/2026 19:05

She wants you stuck at home to be her built in babysitter in case MiL is getting tired of babysitting 2 young kids and might be making trip plans herself.

Enjoy your life and tell her to mind her own backyard.

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 19:04

No childcare or anything. I don’t see how she can be jealous, she willingly goes away about every four weeks to amazing destinations. If she spends time worrying, she could just stay home surely?

OP posts:
MmeWorthington · 08/03/2026 19:00

It's none of her damn business!

Unless she wants you to stay at home and provide childcare for her....

godmum56 · 08/03/2026 18:54

she is jealous. Ignore.

mindutopia · 08/03/2026 18:48

I bet she doesn’t enjoy those trips. She’s probably worrying about the kids and her husband is annoying and overbearing about it all. She probably wishes she had your carefree life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ffmd · 08/03/2026 18:43

I would never judge a sibling for their life. They are happy, I am happy we are both happy. That should be it

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:42

tutugogo · 08/03/2026 18:36

Enjoy your travel, but have you ever made a comment about not owning your property etc. as long as you don’t complain later about your decision then fine to do as you please. I say this because I had friends laugh at me buying a flat rather than taking lots of mini breaks yet just 10 years later they were moaning on Facebook about dodgy landlords, rent increases and how they couldn’t afford to buy … I resisted reminding them about them not being bothered about buying or saving in the past

I love renting, I am looking to get on the ladder in a year or two but have a pretty clear plan for that

OP posts:
whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:41

MaIeficent · 08/03/2026 18:36

Does she mean you should be spending your money getting on the property ladder?

This is what she thinks, it seems

OP posts:
whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:41

Not2identifying · 08/03/2026 18:38

The fact that she's counting down to your next trip online would annoy me more than her, frankly, stupid comment about your travel. She's telling the world when you'll be away from home...

I posted it, on my close friends story (so a few select people I know), because I’m excited 😂

OP posts:
Bristolandlazy · 08/03/2026 18:38

Mumsnet seems to have a lot of members with very opinionated family members. I wouldn't try and tell my mum or sister etc what to do. I can't believe people are so rude and don't know when to keep an opinion to themselves or rephrase something as a question that isn't offensive.

ThatPearlkitty · 08/03/2026 18:38

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:26

They go all over Europe, they do a lot of long weekends away

im guessing someone in the family is presuming youll begin a family rather than the travel

Not2identifying · 08/03/2026 18:38

The fact that she's counting down to your next trip online would annoy me more than her, frankly, stupid comment about your travel. She's telling the world when you'll be away from home...

tutugogo · 08/03/2026 18:36

Enjoy your travel, but have you ever made a comment about not owning your property etc. as long as you don’t complain later about your decision then fine to do as you please. I say this because I had friends laugh at me buying a flat rather than taking lots of mini breaks yet just 10 years later they were moaning on Facebook about dodgy landlords, rent increases and how they couldn’t afford to buy … I resisted reminding them about them not being bothered about buying or saving in the past

nutbrownhare15 · 08/03/2026 18:36

' how many trips have you been on in the past year sis? More than me 😁 '

MaIeficent · 08/03/2026 18:36

Does she mean you should be spending your money getting on the property ladder?

MyNextDoorNeighbourVotesReform · 08/03/2026 18:35

She sounds unhinged

FreshInks · 08/03/2026 18:34

Make the point about her travelling more, but leave out the bit about leaving the dc

MyBrightPeer · 08/03/2026 18:33

Sounds jealous - I’d snap back. I’d say she was jealous of your freedom but sounds like she goes away more than you!

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