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Original poster

My sister keeps criticising me for travelling

137 replies

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:23

I’m 27, and live alone in a rented flat. I have a decent salary and get by pretty happily on my own.

My sister is 31, and her and her husband have 2 sons under 3. Since the youngest was born, they’ve probably been abroad once a month. A lot of the time, they got out the children. This started when the youngest was about 5 months old.

I was at their house a couple of weeks ago and they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage. I have been abroad once this year and have three more holidays planned.

My sister has now responded to a close friends instagram story I posted with a countdown to my next trip and said it all seems really excessive and I shouldn’t be going away like I am. I pay for it all outright, don’t use delayed payments, pay in three or credit cards etc.

AIBU to snap back and ask why she cares so much when she’s leaving her kids once a month to go abroad? They’re always with my brother in law’s parents when they go, and I’m pretty fed up of the hypocritical criticism from them when they do the same, if not worse!

OP posts:
Catwalking · 09/03/2026 17:45

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 18:26

They go all over Europe, they do a lot of long weekends away

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Why, thort we were supposed to be reducing our ‘carbon footprint’! Shouldn’t they set their children a better example????

sugarapplelane · 09/03/2026 08:56

Your Sister sounds like a hypocrite, but I can’t believe you didn’t turn her double standards back on her. Why on earth didn’t you say something to her?
Next time she says something you need to be armed with a fabulous retort to her ridiculousness.

Dery · 09/03/2026 08:04

Your sister sounds mean. It’s fine not to want to travel with children if you don’t have them but loving parents don’t take frequent holidays without their children. And travel with children can actually be loads of fun. It’s what the vast majority of parents do. You’re footloose and fancy free - it’s brilliant that you’re travelling so much. Bon voyage!

Original poster
whoamitocomplain · 09/03/2026 07:54

Ally886 · 09/03/2026 07:48

I do yes but I wouldn't think less of someone if they didn't and prioritised travel when they're young.

Not to mention the risk of house prices fluctuating and not being able to get out of your obligation easily. Even if your house does sell for more it barely covers inflation

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While it’s an interesting debate, I don’t think it’s particularly relevant to me as I may well end up leaving the UK, she knows this and knows that I’m keen to explore the idea of living and working abroad.

OP posts:
Ally886 · 09/03/2026 07:48

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 08/03/2026 22:34

Do you have one?

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I do yes but I wouldn't think less of someone if they didn't and prioritised travel when they're young.

Not to mention the risk of house prices fluctuating and not being able to get out of your obligation easily. Even if your house does sell for more it barely covers inflation

duckduckagogo2026 · 08/03/2026 23:30

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Ffmd · 08/03/2026 23:21

shuggles · 08/03/2026 23:13

No, because generally speaking, all housing appreciates in value.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that you are gaining wealth because your house price is going up. It means nothing. The only winner is the bank and creeps who work in the financial sector.

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You can borrow against it.

I know people who buy a house, and rent out the other rooms. Passive income FTW.

shuggles · 08/03/2026 23:13

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No, because generally speaking, all housing appreciates in value.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that you are gaining wealth because your house price is going up. It means nothing. The only winner is the bank and creeps who work in the financial sector.

duckduckagogo2026 · 08/03/2026 23:11

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shuggles · 08/03/2026 23:10

Ffmd · 08/03/2026 22:47

And asset appreciation

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Housing is not an asset, because it can't be sold for a profit. If you sell it, you would just be spending the money on a different place to live.

The only people who profit from rising house prices are banks.

duckduckagogo2026 · 08/03/2026 22:56

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Original poster
whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 22:51

shuggles · 08/03/2026 22:26

@whoamitocomplain I seem to be in the minority here. I agree that your travelling seems to be excessive when you haven't managed to save for a mortgage yet.

Presumably the 4 holidays you're referring to are all this year. That's a massive number of holidays for a single year.

I’m happy as I am at the moment. Healthy savings, a clear plan to ownership, and a lifestyle that makes me happy. I could start the process of buying but at the moment I don’t want to. I’m not sure whether I’ll still be in the UK this time next year or not, so don’t want to lock in yet.

OP posts:
Ffmd · 08/03/2026 22:47

shuggles · 08/03/2026 22:46

Owning is cheaper in the long run. It's about financial security.

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And asset appreciation

shuggles · 08/03/2026 22:46

Ally886 · 08/03/2026 22:31

Why do you need a mortgage? Is that the metric of happiness these days? I know someone who rents but has taken all the interest paid on a hypothetical mortgage and invested it incredibly

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Owning is cheaper in the long run. It's about financial security.

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 08/03/2026 22:34

Ally886 · 08/03/2026 22:31

Why do you need a mortgage? Is that the metric of happiness these days? I know someone who rents but has taken all the interest paid on a hypothetical mortgage and invested it incredibly

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Do you have one?

Ally886 · 08/03/2026 22:31

shuggles · 08/03/2026 22:26

@whoamitocomplain I seem to be in the minority here. I agree that your travelling seems to be excessive when you haven't managed to save for a mortgage yet.

Presumably the 4 holidays you're referring to are all this year. That's a massive number of holidays for a single year.

Why do you need a mortgage? Is that the metric of happiness these days? I know someone who rents but has taken all the interest paid on a hypothetical mortgage and invested it incredibly

shuggles · 08/03/2026 22:26

@whoamitocomplain I seem to be in the minority here. I agree that your travelling seems to be excessive when you haven't managed to save for a mortgage yet.

Presumably the 4 holidays you're referring to are all this year. That's a massive number of holidays for a single year.

muggart · 08/03/2026 22:20

whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 19:33

They’ve definitely picked up since the youngest was born. They both love to travel, but it was never this frequent. I just feel for the boys to be honest

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This is it. She feels judged by you so is turning it around.

90sTrifle · 08/03/2026 21:59

Fearlesssloth · 08/03/2026 21:30

Agreed. I’m a single mum and have been on some amazing trips with my dd since she was 5. She’s the best travel buddy I’ve ever had. We’ve seen elephants in Thailand, surfed in Portugal, camped in the alps. Having a travel buddy full of energy, that’s permanently excited by everything, and has such an amazing, pure sense of wonder about the world is so lovely to be around. No I don’t get to experience any nightlife or fancy restaurants but I did all that when I was younger and I’ve got no interest in those things now anyway

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That’s lovely to hear. You could add in the fancy restaurants too as she gets older.

Original poster
whoamitocomplain · 08/03/2026 21:39

90sTrifle · 08/03/2026 20:44

Maybe you’re not too different from your DSis.

Travelling with kids really isn’t that bad. I’ve been on so many holidays with mine and can’t recall a bad trip. We even once travelled around Italy for 3 weeks (with our 7 and 10 year old), using public transport only and choosing where to go and where to stay as we went - it was an amazing experience for our family.

We even took the kids on our honeymoon, we’d never go off and fun without them if they could join in too.

When you have kids they become a part of your lives, you drag them along everywhere. Those that don’t may regret the consequences when their kids grow up to have no time for their parents. You reap what you sow.

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I can fully recognise that I’m in no place to have children yet though, because I am too selfish. I enjoy a nice lie in of the weekend, an indulgent coffee in bed, and I enjoy waking up in the small hours of the morning to watch the racing and then going back to sleep for another five hours after. I enjoy going to the airport early?l, going to a lounge and having a drink or two and passing out asleep on the plane.

I don’t want to give that up, and that’s fine.

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 08/03/2026 21:35

What the fuck’s any of this got to do with her? If my sister started telling me how to plan my life I’d tell her to mind her own business!

FairKoala · 08/03/2026 21:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

FairKoala · 08/03/2026 21:30

they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage

The answer being when they start looking after their own children and stop their monthly holidays

FairKoala · 08/03/2026 21:30

they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage

The answer being when they start looking after their own children and stop their monthly holidays

Fearlesssloth · 08/03/2026 21:30

90sTrifle · 08/03/2026 20:44

Maybe you’re not too different from your DSis.

Travelling with kids really isn’t that bad. I’ve been on so many holidays with mine and can’t recall a bad trip. We even once travelled around Italy for 3 weeks (with our 7 and 10 year old), using public transport only and choosing where to go and where to stay as we went - it was an amazing experience for our family.

We even took the kids on our honeymoon, we’d never go off and fun without them if they could join in too.

When you have kids they become a part of your lives, you drag them along everywhere. Those that don’t may regret the consequences when their kids grow up to have no time for their parents. You reap what you sow.

Show quote history

Agreed. I’m a single mum and have been on some amazing trips with my dd since she was 5. She’s the best travel buddy I’ve ever had. We’ve seen elephants in Thailand, surfed in Portugal, camped in the alps. Having a travel buddy full of energy, that’s permanently excited by everything, and has such an amazing, pure sense of wonder about the world is so lovely to be around. No I don’t get to experience any nightlife or fancy restaurants but I did all that when I was younger and I’ve got no interest in those things now anyway