Ostracised by neighbours & wanting to move

I haven't been ostracised, and if I was it wouldn't bother me, as my partner and I are very strong willed and have learned over the years not to take any crap.l (took me decades, mind) BUT I had an almost identical issue to you.

There's a noisy alcoholic woman on one side of us, but at least she never comes near our door. On the other side is a man who was single and then met a woman who is an utter brat, and her kids are honestly awful. He openly tells my partner that she's from a horrible estate about 20 miles away, so she and her kids used to stay at his, and I nearly had a nervous breakdown. Booting balls at our door, swearing, destroying other people's gardens, pressing their noses against our living room window and staring in. You name it.

Thankfully he bought her a house a mile away (thank the Lord she didn't move in with him). But I know exactly what you mean and it's horrible when your privacy is attacked like that. It's always the types who would shout the loudest if you did the same to them who do it so easily to others.

It's actually the noisy alcoholic neighbour who would make me want to move. She just doesn't know how to live quietly.

As a pp said, please try and stop caring about them. Easier said than done but tell yourself that they just aren't important.

You need somewhere more private, I get that. I hope you find somewhere that suits before too long.

You can't expect them to be friendly if you refuse to take in parcels and put up barriers. That means keep away from me and I'll keep away from you.

Make friends away from the local area was good advice I was given when we moved. The Lady who gave it had been involved in a serious accident and she found the local rumour mill unbearable, so they eventually left.

however if you can busy yourself with interests and activities away from home you will feel much better and also not care what the neighbours ‘might’ be thinking.

The “nit picking” reveals a great deal about this OP

Shes judging these mothers
for being single mothers, I’d bet a lot on it.

And chances are… they are very aware of that fact and would rather not engage with her.

Did you read all the crappy stuff they’re doing to her and some other neighbours, or are you just nit picking … these people sound bloody awful

This. Totally this.

Yup

I think she’s judging the women because they are single mothers, so happy to be a bit snippy!

Why do you care? They are not your friends, they are people who happen to share a bit of pavement with you. Just ignore them and hang out with your own friends.

I had a falling out with my neighbours either side - they are friends and gossip outside my house about me. In the beginning I hated it and wanted to move, but now I hold my head up high and smile to myself. People who behave like this are like school yard Mean Girls who have never grown up. When you start viewing them that way it becomes less overwhelming, infact you start to pity them.

No, you’ve been snippy with OP throughout the thread

I'm not sure this will post but it's a video of Kate Winslet talking about how we need to understand that we simply cannot control what people think or say about us ... Honestly OP try to alter your mindset. Keep busy with other things in your life that bring you joy. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1588049155886602

for enquiring what the OP means when saying she was providing “context” when she told us the women are single mothers

I suspect because it’s an important detail to @theeasterbaker because she judges single Mothers and assumed we would too

Do you live in Walford by any chance?

Fair,I wouldn't take a parcel in for someone that ignored me and flagged me off,wtf does she expect

Are you one of the mean girls neighbours!?

Screw em and hope for snow, then watch them slide down the drive on their scooters and laugh.

There’s a big difference between being a civil neighbour eg taking the odd parcel versus being friends. It sounds like you don’t even want to to the basics. Say hello when you see them. Avoid gossip and get on with your life. Be a good neighbour when you can with the parcels/bins and similar minor local things.

Basically it sounds like tit for tat. They were walking across your driveway, and talking in front of your window, so you put up a fence, so they stoppes talking to you, so you stopped taking deliveries. But you're upset they don't involve you in conversations and events. If you care about being involved, you need to step back the tit for tat. If you sin't care about being involved, then just ignore them.

do you live in a village? If do this is totally normal.

I grew up in a town and it was a shock when I moved to a village but I’m used to it now.

Our neighbours have suddenly become totally batshit crazy…….we have helped and supported them for months, offered lifts to and fro, collected large items from supermarkets that they can’t get on their mobility scooters, cleared their drive of snow, spread grit on ice in winter so they could mobilise safely……..you name it, we have done it…….and now they just ignore us for no apparent reason! When I asked what was wrong they just said they didn’t want to talk to us! 🤷‍♀️

The walking past your window was the hill you were prepared to die on. So now you have no relationship with them. Own it. The gossiping will die down in time is you let it.

And if this is the op myself and another poster thinks… then this is one of many many threads about these neighbours that always end with the consensus being - Op… do them a favour, and move!!

Again

What context does their marital status add to your situation?

I’m sociable with friends and family.
Neighbours I tolerate, well some of them.