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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is this fresh hell? Menopause

140 replies

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/03/2026 09:23

I woke up at 4am with a huge boil on my labia - it is AGONY. I can't think about anything else, its throbbing and I want to cry!

My mum said "oh yeah, it's menopause" WTF mother?! Why didn't you warn me? (and what good would that possibly have done?)

Is there anything beyond compresses and morphine that can help me?

Fuck menopause, fuck the patriarchy and fuck this fucking boil to hell.

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 05/03/2026 11:16

I had these nasties a few times before I went through menopause. They definitely weren't related to menopause in my case. I had one when DD3 was a baby, and that was five years before I stopped having periods.

I used to press a hot flannel on them to burst them. I started taking garlic capsules which seemed to keep them at bay.

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/03/2026 11:06

Its my birthday at the weekend and I am off to a very very fancy hotel and spa. I never go anywhere fancy and now THIS ERUPTS!!!
I have MS so enough on my fucking plate frankly.
Thanks for the advice - I will try EVERYTHING and if it all fails AMUPUTATION seems the best solution. Just get rid of it all once and for all 😣

OP posts:
TorroFerney · 05/03/2026 11:00

Verv · 05/03/2026 10:13

Could be a bartholin cyst so be careful.

I had one when I was in my 20’s and agree get to the gp, I ended up having mine operated on and the wound stitched opened to drain.

TweezerMay · 05/03/2026 10:54

God these are special sort of pain. I got them often during puberty. They hurt like fuck if you don’t mess with them, but the pain after trying to squeeze one is something else. I used a sterilised pin on mine. Infinite amount of pus, but instantly relieved the pain.

VelvetSabotage · 05/03/2026 10:50

Fuck menopause, fuck the patriarchy and fuck this fucking boil to hell.

Ah so sorry OP but this did make me cackle. Yeah sorry but hot compresses as hot as you can stand are the only thing that helped me. Magnesium paste helps boils erupt but not sure if thats safe to put in that area

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/03/2026 10:47

Thanks for alerting me to this new, degrading level of agony, plumbing new depths of meno rage jere

OP posts:
faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/03/2026 10:46

Fuck. I think it is a Bartholin's cyst

OP posts:
curious79 · 05/03/2026 10:46

I started getting boils in that area. I ended up with a tube of fuciderm - tropical antibiotic cream - and that ended up being the lifeline. I had to interrupt the cycle of the bacteria. I don’t get them anymore.
What I would say is absolutely amazing to keep your bit down there moist and healthy is Naydaya Victory Oil. It’s a lifesaver.

TempestTost · 05/03/2026 10:46

Ah, I would try and draw it out OP. Or use a sterilised pin.

For those saying it's not a meno thing, these do become more common because of changes to the skin.

winterwarmer8274 · 05/03/2026 10:44

Hot compress to draw the fluids out, a then honestly I would just sterilise a sewing needle and pop it.

ginnybag · 05/03/2026 10:44

Hot compress, preferably with Epsom salts. It will draw it and it will burst, which will ease it immediately. I do find a bit of gentle massage can help, too.

Horrible things - I get one every few months or so and have for about 5 years or so.

Disturbia81 · 05/03/2026 10:42

I doubt it’s a menopause thing. Women get allsorts of stuff throughout their life

Belladog1 · 05/03/2026 10:40

I have had these. They are generally slightly bigger than a pea - and really painful. But I find over a few days they get bigger and bigger - then the slightest touch and they explode and are gone immediately. They don't refill again like a normal spot would.

Hopefully over the next few days it will go. I get one every 6 months or so.

Doggymummar · 05/03/2026 10:39

I used to get them when I was a smoker so painful. No extra advice. Solidarity

RaininSummer · 05/03/2026 10:38

Not sure it's a menopause thing. Never heard of that one.

Shutuptrevor · 05/03/2026 10:36

BauhausOfEliott · 05/03/2026 10:32

Bartholin cysts aren’t on the labia.

It sounds to me like a fairly normal blocked hair follicle or pore. Much like having a really nasty zit down there. Most things hurt a lot more in that area because it’s obviously a sensitive part of the body.

Yes, they’re horrid and painful but hot compresses or sitting in a hot bath might help it burst. If it gets worse there’s a small chance it might need draining or antibiotics but generally things like that will go away on their own.

Not something I’d say was specific to menopause.

Um, they absolutely are, that’s classic diagnostic location for them!

Happyjoe · 05/03/2026 10:35

BuddhaAtSea · 05/03/2026 09:37

Go to A&E if it hasn’t burst.
Someone needs to have a look at it.
Yes, I know, you don’t think it’s THAT bad. Go to A&E anyway.

No! A&E literally means 'accident and emergency', not a bloody boil.

Go to the GP if it doesn't go. OP, hot baths can bring it to the surface quicker and may be able to pop it. Keep it clean if it does pop as don't want it to spread.

BauhausOfEliott · 05/03/2026 10:32

Verv · 05/03/2026 10:13

Could be a bartholin cyst so be careful.

Bartholin cysts aren’t on the labia.

It sounds to me like a fairly normal blocked hair follicle or pore. Much like having a really nasty zit down there. Most things hurt a lot more in that area because it’s obviously a sensitive part of the body.

Yes, they’re horrid and painful but hot compresses or sitting in a hot bath might help it burst. If it gets worse there’s a small chance it might need draining or antibiotics but generally things like that will go away on their own.

Not something I’d say was specific to menopause.

bridgetreilly · 05/03/2026 10:23

I had one which, thankfully, burst in less than 24 hours.

GottaBeStrong · 05/03/2026 10:20

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 05/03/2026 09:23

I woke up at 4am with a huge boil on my labia - it is AGONY. I can't think about anything else, its throbbing and I want to cry!

My mum said "oh yeah, it's menopause" WTF mother?! Why didn't you warn me? (and what good would that possibly have done?)

Is there anything beyond compresses and morphine that can help me?

Fuck menopause, fuck the patriarchy and fuck this fucking boil to hell.

Hot bath. Hot compresses. You can put a drawing paste/ointment on. I have been getting them on and off for years, so it's not been a perimenopause thing for me.

shazshaz · 05/03/2026 10:20

Muffinmam · 05/03/2026 09:54

There are no hair follicles on the labia.

Yes there are - on the labia majora.

KitsyWitsy · 05/03/2026 10:18

I had one once, years ago. It was agony and I could hardly walk with the pain of it brushing against legs/knickers etc. I put hot washcloths on it and one day it just burst. I can still remember the relief and all the pus that came out... !

catlife7 · 05/03/2026 10:16

BuddhaAtSea · 05/03/2026 09:37

Go to A&E if it hasn’t burst.
Someone needs to have a look at it.
Yes, I know, you don’t think it’s THAT bad. Go to A&E anyway.

I would never be out of a&e if I went every time I got one!

catlife7 · 05/03/2026 10:15

Nothing to do with menopause, I’ve been getting them since I was about 10 but I have hidradenitis
hot baths, warm compresses. If it gets huge, the redness starts tracking or you feel unwell then see someone
currently have one the size of a golf ball which is not pleasant so empathise!

BerryTwister · 05/03/2026 10:13

You need antibiotics.
It’s nothing to do with menopause, women of all ages can get these.