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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Avocados are deceitful little bastards

134 replies

likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:10

Look ripe. Feel ripe.

Not ripe

Five minutes later. Over ripe.

OP posts:
Lordofthewing · 02/03/2026 20:35

Agree- proper bastards. See also Mangoes (but that could just be my being useless as no-one else seems to have issues with mangoes)

Original poster
likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:34

GCAcademic · 02/03/2026 20:30

They are also the cause of many knife injuries. There are peer-reviewed articles about their evil, stabby ways: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31303536/

Abstract
Introduction: Recent media reports have described knife injuries sustained while preparing avocados; however, this rise has not been reported in the literature. The purpose of this study is to describe, quantify, and trend emergency department (ED) encounters associated with avocado-related knife injuries.
Methods: The National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) was queried for avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. Patient demographic and injury data was collected and analyzed to describe trends in incidence, patient demographics, and injury patterns associated with an ED encounter for an avocado-related knife injury.
Results: There were an estimated 50,413 (95% Confidence Interval: 46,333-54,492) avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. The incidence of avocado-related knife injuries increased over this time period (1998-2002 = 3143; 2013-2017 = 27,059). This increase correlated closely with a rise in avocado consumption in the U.S. (Pearson's Correlation: 0.934, p < 0.001) Women comprised 80.1% of injuries. The most common demographic injured were 23 to 39-year old females (32.7%), while the least common was males under the age of 17 (0.9%). Most ED presentations occurred on Saturdays (15.9%) or Sundays (19.9%) and the majority occurred during the months of April through July (45.6%). Injuries were much more common on the left (and likely non-dominant) hand.
Conclusion: Avocado-related knife injuries are a preventable cause of hand injury. The incidence has risen significantly in recent years, possibly due to an increased consumption of avocados in the United States. Education on safe avocado preparation techniques and public safety initiatives, such as warning labels, could help prevent serious injuries in the future.

I nearly mentioned in my OP that I could barely get the knife into it

This was my first indication that something was not right.

OP posts:
MsRadioGaga · 02/03/2026 20:33

Sometimes, and sorry it's mainly the ones from Asda, <do cry for me all ye who shop at Waitrose and Ocado> they are just 'stringy'. Neither ripe nor over ripe. Just a strange texture. Like eating a door mat.

However, I'm not on board with all this 'no avo' mash on toast (i.e. mushy peas on toast).

JudgeJ · 02/03/2026 20:32

HopSpringsEternal · 02/03/2026 20:14

Looks massive. Is massive. Massive stone. Shit salad.

Lovely on a bacon sandwich though, if they're a bit hard then put them in the frying pan with the bacon. I prefer one of those bake at home baguettes for a bacon/avocado sandwich, Lidl tomorrow for me!

DisappointingAvocado · 02/03/2026 20:31

Yup I literally named my username after this.

JohnBullshit · 02/03/2026 20:31

I had one with the teeeeeniest little stone the other day. DS was making guacamole, and he called me into the kitchen to marvel at it.
I notice my local Aldi have taken to putting them on the top shelf in order to fool me into selecting the rocks. Does anyone else call them avoc-hardos?

murasaki · 02/03/2026 20:30

likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:14

Ive got a quarter of this piece of cement in my dinner at the moment. I put the rest in the fridge. It better soften up for tomorrow.

It will soften up at precisely 4.12 am and be mush by the time you get to it. Guaranteed.

GCAcademic · 02/03/2026 20:30

They are also the cause of many knife injuries. There are peer-reviewed articles about their evil, stabby ways: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31303536/

Abstract
Introduction: Recent media reports have described knife injuries sustained while preparing avocados; however, this rise has not been reported in the literature. The purpose of this study is to describe, quantify, and trend emergency department (ED) encounters associated with avocado-related knife injuries.
Methods: The National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) was queried for avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. Patient demographic and injury data was collected and analyzed to describe trends in incidence, patient demographics, and injury patterns associated with an ED encounter for an avocado-related knife injury.
Results: There were an estimated 50,413 (95% Confidence Interval: 46,333-54,492) avocado-related knife injuries from 1998 to 2017. The incidence of avocado-related knife injuries increased over this time period (1998-2002 = 3143; 2013-2017 = 27,059). This increase correlated closely with a rise in avocado consumption in the U.S. (Pearson's Correlation: 0.934, p < 0.001) Women comprised 80.1% of injuries. The most common demographic injured were 23 to 39-year old females (32.7%), while the least common was males under the age of 17 (0.9%). Most ED presentations occurred on Saturdays (15.9%) or Sundays (19.9%) and the majority occurred during the months of April through July (45.6%). Injuries were much more common on the left (and likely non-dominant) hand.
Conclusion: Avocado-related knife injuries are a preventable cause of hand injury. The incidence has risen significantly in recent years, possibly due to an increased consumption of avocados in the United States. Education on safe avocado preparation techniques and public safety initiatives, such as warning labels, could help prevent serious injuries in the future.

Calliopespa · 02/03/2026 20:29

HopSpringsEternal · 02/03/2026 20:14

Looks massive. Is massive. Massive stone. Shit salad.

I have found it is the rounder ones that have the bigger stones. The pear-shaped ones are less prone to this particular trick - or perhaps it is that you at least get the long part full of flesh not stone.

OSTMusTisNT · 02/03/2026 20:27

The stones are much bigger too, much be a variety or quality change compared to avocados of 20 years ago.

Pearlstillsinging · 02/03/2026 20:27

likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:14

Ive got a quarter of this piece of cement in my dinner at the moment. I put the rest in the fridge. It better soften up for tomorrow.

Try popping it in the microwave for a minute.

Calliopespa · 02/03/2026 20:26

likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:26

Three percent of the votes say I am unreasonable

Thats the Avocado Growers Association.

Or the person at M and S who sticks on the "ripe and ready to eat stickers."

PinotPinot · 02/03/2026 20:26

YANBU! Fuck avocados 😠

Original poster
likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:26

Three percent of the votes say I am unreasonable

Thats the Avocado Growers Association.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/03/2026 20:25

I thought I was the only person living this particular battle and that the rest of the world chose better/wasn't noticing.

Yes, they are indeed most deceitful and faithless too, professing to be at the beginning of the era of ripeness then suddenly rushing through it.

Still love them ...

ScrambledEggs12 · 02/03/2026 20:24

Avocados are like life. Sometimes they are amazing. But sometimes they are a huge disappointment.

Bunniemalone · 02/03/2026 20:23

likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:20

Unfortunately I am bananaless.

Show quote history

I send you one, but I just ate the last 2....They were bananas designed for Borrowers ..I swear I either get tiny ones or that are big enough to feed a family of 4!

Foodylicious · 02/03/2026 20:22

Yes Pears too.
Mischievous little bastards.
Full punnet of them still rock hard in the morning, so in the fruit bowl they stay.
By the evening, maybe one is almost ripe, but not quite...
Following morning, all ripe at once, or overripe.
Who wants to eat 6 Pears in one morning??!

EvangelineTheNightStar · 02/03/2026 20:21

HopSpringsEternal · 02/03/2026 20:14

Looks massive. Is massive. Massive stone. Shit salad.

No mn massive salad for you then @HopSpringsEternal 😩

damelza · 02/03/2026 20:20

Agree. However I put the "turned" ones into a blitzed fruit mix that I put on my porridge. You'd never know they had gone brown and mushy. Haven't died yet from it. Nowt goes to waste here where avos are concerned.😊

Original poster
likelysuspect · 02/03/2026 20:20

user1471453601 · 02/03/2026 20:19

Putting unripe avocado or pear with a banana works wonders

Unfortunately I am bananaless.

OP posts:
Hootersoutsidemywindow · 02/03/2026 20:19

This thread has made me smile, thank you OP!

user1471453601 · 02/03/2026 20:19

Putting unripe avocado or pear with a banana works wonders

Bunniemalone · 02/03/2026 20:18

Add kiwi fruit too..